I know What You What For Christmas.....

I have some things to say this morning.

You see, I know what you want for Christmas.

Yesterday Spooky Teen came and cleaned the Spooky House for me, which is the BEST thing ever. I try and be here when she is, as I get really motivated to DO things for the house when she is and I noticed a lot of Tweets and Comments after mentioning that on the subject of Housework.

I'm here to help. Let me give you some ides, and thoughts, which might forever change your lives for the better.

First of all, things have changed and maybe you didn't get the memo. In the Olden Days (no, no idea WHEN they were) there was a concept called "Keeping House" where women stayed home, and well, kept the house clean. Men went to work. If the man lived alone, someone would "Come in" and "do" for him once a week or so, or kind women friends would come over and straighten up clucking their tongues and saying "Oh poor man, living alone.." and tidy up the place.

There seems to be a bit of a hold over from this. NOT, guys, that I am saying you aren't helping, on the contrary, I am sure you ARE. I am sure that all parties are trying their best to keep the place clean, working long hours at "work" then coming home and trying to get the chores done, and clean the house. Or saying whatever, and living in a mess.

What ever your arrangement is, what I am saying is, get some help.

Why are you trying to work all week, AND take on another job trying to keep your house clean? It can't be DONE. And why are you wasting those way too few hours trying to do it? Or arguing about who should be doing what? Unless cleaning is something you LIKE, then why are you, man or women, sitting there wishing your house was clean and either hating doing it, or feeling just a little bit sadder because it is not getting done?

Well, Fabulous Lorraine, because we can't afford a Housekeeper, Cleaning Service or whatever. DUH!!!

I know, I can't either. But there are things you can do.

First off, Cleaning is a SKILL. I don't have it. I am the worst housekeeper on the planet. I watch people like Merry Housekeeper and her Spooky Teen clean, and I don't have their skill. I recall once cleaning with them, and doing a room on my own, and I very proudly told Merry no, don't worry, I've done that room, she sort of smiled, and went in, and 20 minutes later, the place GLOWED.

Spooky Teen does more in three hours than I could in a day. And it looks a whole lot better.

The idea that House Cleaning is menial labor went out with the notion that it was the Womens Job to keep the place clean.

Don't look into the commercial cleaning services. They pay their people min and charge you hugely. And treat them badly (Everyone go read "Nickel and Dimed, On Not Getting by in America, by Barbara Ehrenreich)

Look for a local only business, generally started by someone who likes to clean, needs the work, and wants to work independently. They will do a great job for you because they want your business, they care about it and it is THEIR business. They will not be "Managing a franchise" for someone unknown, hiring whomever is desperate. They may be a couple of people who have gone in together, and they know word of mouth is their best advertisement.

Have them come in once a month for a few hours.

Hire a teenager. No, I am NOT saying exploit our youth, I am saying, look at the jobs available for Teenagers our there right now. Fast food? Minimum wage hell? Trust me when I tell you if you say look, here's double the min in cash, please come help me for a couple hours, they will jump at that.

And double the min wage is Not. Very. Much.

Look at your budget. It doesn't take much. And right now, Stop with any guilt that you ought to be doing it all yourself or "maids" are only for the snobby rich. That would be more olden days notions. The people you hire are happy to help. More than that, they want to and know beyond a shadow of a doubt how much you love and appreciate what they do. (Merry and Spooky Teen, in case I haven't said it in the last 24 hours, Thank you. I can't do it. You make my life so much better, and I love you both so for it.)

Coming home to more work is not what you need in your life, trust me. It only adds to the stress.

Give yourself the gift of Time. More time with your family, more time for yourself to do what you WANT to do.

There are people out there who know this. And will help you.

What are you spending on Presents for each other? How long would that pay for some help? What one-more-useless gift are you buying for someone? How about paying for a Clean instead?

The feeling of coming home after all the chaos, stress and madness of the world, to your HOME feeling like the best place in the world, instead of one more job, is the best feeling ever.

That's what you want for Christmas.

Love and Order,
Lorraine