Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Ballad of the Garment Bag....

The Garment Bag and Hat have been found! There was never any doubt that they WOULD be, I went after them, and I am not accustomed to failure, and when a Personal Assistant gets, let's call it "Mad", you really don't want to be in the way. Do as you are told. It will go much better for you.

I went down to the airport in Minneapolis, having got a tip from a supervisor at Northwest that one could get much further in person than on the phone. There in the deepest depths of the airport at a small dark counter I met with two agents, one from Northwest and one from Delta. (the merger so far, apparently)

It went a little something like this...

ME: I have a Wee Problem and one hears from Sources that YOU are the only people with real Power, the one's who Make Things Happen, and hold the Wisdom of the Ancients and the Airlines in your hands....

NW Agent: Northwest or Delta?

ME: Delta. Dodged that bullet didn't you? Well listen in, it won't be dull. This is a drama of Epic proportions! Being played out on Twitter as we speak!

NW Agent: What's Twitter?

DEL Agent: I know about Twitter. How many Followers? (Head in hands)

ME: Half a million! Poised like Raptors on the Ramparts in Readiness for my signal, ready to swoop down upon you!

DEL Agent: WIll they Smite me?

ME: Yes, if you fail. You will die a horrible death at their hands. But look at it this way, if you find the thing, you will be a hero and live on remembered and in glory for all of your days!

DEL Agent: Not sure I can handle that kind of fame.

ME: No worries, I'll hook you up with your own agent. Now, about this Bag and Hat....

And so we got to work. This involved a lot of first figuring out where the plane flew (Only between Chicago and NY apparently) then some Agent to Agent cell phone calls, some debating on possible scenarios, and finally some Secret Knowledge that I have promised never to reveal, on pain of death and some return Smiting. We didn't FIND the Bag and Hat, but we did have a Plan.

I went home with the Plan in Place.

It was nearly Midnight when I rang two of my Darkest Minions, one in Chicago and one in New York, and gave them specific instructions. (ok, so I had a LOT of e-mail to catch up on, and they maybe weren't Dark Minions but Maure who helps out in Chicago and AFP's amazing Assistant, Beth)

Got it in one. Maure found the Bag and Hat at the Chicago Airport. They had been taken off the plane at some point and left at the gate, and the calls yesterday, followed by Maure showing up in person, had got someone down there thinking.

The point of this, and I do THINK I have one, and the secret of the success, was simply this: Show up in person. And then BE the one person in a hundred who makes them laugh, who asks for their help, who thanks them, offers to bring them coffee and appreciates what they are doing. (And they DO have power. Of a sort. At least where Bags are concerned) 99 out 100 people, and trust me when tell you I saw this for three hours yesterday, are going to whine, bitch, moan and threaten. And get no where.

I got the Bag back. And the Hat.

And for a while there, all concerned had a great time doing it.

Love and Airlines,


«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 246 of 246
At 18:09 Blogger Na said...


At 18:09 Blogger Na said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 18:14 Blogger Na said...

Right. Have now started a list:
1) Start a list check
2) get car ready to big cross-country trek check
3) find small bottle in which to (smuggle?) home vanilla, since, as it turns out, I've just run out, and how nice of Fluffy to share!
4) think about this to-do list some more check
5) continue to be grateful our tax return check came in time to fund said trip check check check...

At 18:37 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Oi, what's wrong with you all...Africa by Toto is one of my all time favorite songs. It has excellent memories associated with it too, making it extra sweet, so Jess - thanks for the awesome vid!

OSS, I like the new glasses. They look really good on you.

At 19:08 Blogger ariandalen said...

OSS, the glasses look good on you. :) Very Bono, to me. Well, minus the rose colored lenses.

We have now burned out our second digital converter box and cannot watch local stations.

My children are screaming the lyrics to the theme song of "Land of the Lost." Repeatedly.
Somebody shoot me now.


At 19:47 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Thanks, fiends!

They're definitely going to take some getting used to. Very fishbowl right now, with lenses such a different shape. But I don't think I could have made such a big change (for me) without you. So, for that too, thanks!

At 19:53 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I am going to do a new post. Really I am. Any moment. Did download the photos....

At 20:02 Blogger Phiala said...

Hey, I know what my roomie looks like now! And cool glasses, too. :) You remind me terribly of one of my best friends, so my mental image has you looking like her too, which is completely untrue. You actually look a lot more like my new post-doc, especially with the new glasses. That's a good sign too, as I really like my postdoc. :)

At 20:08 Blogger Siri said...



At 20:18 Blogger Siri said...

Phi, is it still too early to ask for exact flight information?

Yes, I want it to be now. I never was good at living in the moment.


At 20:28 Blogger Phiala said...

Sorry, Siri, I thought I had.

Date: Friday, June 26 Flight: NW 2579
Arrives: Minneapolis/St. Paul-Int'l, MN (MSP) at 10:13A

Date: Tuesday, June 30 Flight: NW 1468
Departs: Minneapolis/St. Paul-Int'l, MN (MSP) at 10:05AM

At 20:29 Blogger Siri said...

You may have sent them to Aleta, but now I can start my list....wheeeeeee

At 20:31 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

The Scream Porches are up!

New post now...

At 21:08 Blogger AletaMay said...

I'll either forward those emails to you Siri or put the info on the spreadsheet within the next 24 hours or so.

At 21:24 Blogger Beez said...

Love the new ones OSS!

At 00:17 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Nice glasses OSS! They look a little more severe than the other ones but still look good on you.

At 01:25 Blogger Marjorie said...

Nice glasses, OSS - good to see yourface, too - wll make meeting at airport so much easier ;-)

At 13:57 Blogger Ani said...

Vampi, I am embarrassed to admit it in this crowd, but...I don't knit. I am just lucky to be the recipient of a friend who knits beautiful hats for me. I just picked out some new sock yarn for another hat. So I promised various knitting fiends that I would bring my hats to show off my friend's skill.

What I have to come up with for Chantrelle, I do not yet know, but I did threaten something like "so help me Fod, you will be left in a puddle on the floor of the Stillwater Inn." And it is in fact written on my list as "wreck Chantrelle."

Maybe she's ticklish? ;)

At 18:31 Blogger Uisge said...

OSS - Love the new glasses. You look great in them.

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