The Bengal Dinner Party....
My name is Venus. Freaky Venus Seaweed, to be precise. I am a Bengal Cat, and we are nothing if not precise. I am, in many ways, misunderstood. I like things the way I like them, but it seems that many people simply do not understand Bengal Etiquette.
We expect certain things. We have certain standards. Take the Diner Party, for instance. There are Things you need to know.
Or else. Regret. Total and complete. I will see to that.
First, seat your guests. We are not simply CATS. How CATS can simply live with the "Open a can and be done with it" approach, I will never know. And would never put up with it. We prefer counter seating. We can be patient. No, really.
Set your table. Use the nice china. If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Add a nice glass, or skull fountain for water, in case your guests would care for a before dinner drink. If a few dishes end up knocked to the floor, broken into bits and shards, be polite, and ignore it. These things happen. You have more.
Let your guests feel like they are helping. The stove is a lovely social place to gather around. Note that we enjoy our steaks rare.
We can be patient, For A Time. Do not make your guests wait too long for dinner. Bad hostess. Steaks are done. Now they need to be cut up Very Small. We are dainty.
Use your Famous Exploding Knife. And allow your guests to choose their cuts of meat.
Sometimes other guests will come to the window and scream for steak too. Beware of their glowing eyes, and Do Not, invite them in. I am very active, and I do not share my meat.
If you follow these instructions, your party will be an A-list talked about event. And more importantly, I will be content. You want me content. Trust me. If I am properly fed, I will not need meat again for several hours. You may spend this time on your couch, where I may, or may not, let you pet me. If you are very lucky, I may bring you the feather stick. Or I might go in your purse, and find something else.
It all depends on my mood.
Love and Dinner,
Venus
110 Comments:
Venus is clearly a discerning hostess!
I haven't forgotten that I owe you cat food links; life has just been busy busy as always.
(I got the job, Fiends, but I am not announcing it yet as it affects my current business)
i like the drama and threat of finding something else from your purse.
i am afraid, very afraid.
GOL
Bengal Dinner Party Etiquette 101
well then a very hush hush huzzah for you adri :)
Adri, high five!!!
Ooh, good point, vampi. Maybe a low five, under the table, & a whispery w00t!
*whispers* congrats Adri...
Ms Venus has clearly been talking with Tysie at some point.
:D If anyone knows any good project managers (or 3d artists, for that matter) who can effectively work remotely, I'll be hiring to replace myself. (video game or virtual world experience preferred)
Did you know, Fiends, that communities like this blog are the most common way people find jobs? Through friends of friends, most of the time. There's an interesting sociological theory about Third Places: community gathering places where weak/casual ties between people are formed and maintained. These spaces (traditionally cafes, bars, churches) are key to societal health.
I saw a presentation where the speaker was lamenting the loss of these third spaces in modern society, but I think for many people they've just moved online. :)
I think you may be right Adri. I like that term "Third Spaces"
Venus finds and brings out Tampons from my purse. WAY cooler than mousies. The OB kid to be specific. (Sorry gentlemen)
Need hot tub. Horsie was very prancy today. My hips are feeling that canter yet.
Lovely post! I would say that I laughed but I wouldn't want Venus to think I was laughing at her!
She's sleeping. Go ahead and laugh.
I cannot let my bengals view this blog or they will think they also need a Dinner Party. Love Magic's magic glowing eyes checking out the party.
Adri, way to go, shhhh.
Q they are mousies, they have a tail.
These pictures are awesome.
*Glances about to be sure that the cats are not looking* If my lovelies see four star dining they will be incorrigible for weeks.
I certainly feel very well educated on the ways of the Bengal Dinner party now! Very helpful.
Yay Adri!
Third Places. Love the concept and it rings very true.
What a wonderful post! You've got my imagination flowing and my heart smiling.
Thank you.
Yay to Adri!
Yay to Emily!
Yay to fiends!
Vampi, has anyone said cool avatar?
If not, consider it said.
Do the kitties ever touch the hot stove?
*Studiously avoids saying anything to Adri, in case....*
thanks siri:)
and sending good vibes to all fiends recently needing good vibes. i am totally remiss about keeping up. i read all of the posts on blackberry, but then don't always have time to comment during the day at work.
sounds neat adri, but i have no experience in that area. i've painted myself into a box. i have a very specific skill set that's really only valuable to my employer.
i really like that third space thing. so true.so adri, i might know someone, a friend of boy's. email me some info? vampiress at gmail
*mutter*congratulations Adri*mutter*
Hmmm, now Ms Quichie- did I not just read an interview today with a certain Super PA wherein she said something about ..A country of cats, where they would all live together happily, with me as their Queen.
You got the "Queen" thing approved? Mim and Venus et al?
Seriously?
*looks at blog post somewhat doubtfully*
I am so not letting Phoebe see this post. She thinks kibble is the Best Thing Ever, and I am happy that she thinks so. But I'll keep The Rules in mind should I ever meet Their Majesties. Though, the cat on working stove pic made me shudder! I guess it must be more dangerous to get them off.
Psst, Adri, congratulations! I might know someone, if she's still looking for something. I'll ask if she is.
Emily, I got your note. How funny that the post office refused to deliver the one with "One Sock Short". Who knows what fiendish plot could be behind such code names ;-)
Say, if Cabal decides he needs a decoy (what with his celebrity status and all), I have found just the dog for the job. This dog evev led me to go into a shoe store. Lo and behold, what do I find there but the perfect dance shoes. On the last-pair-left clearance rack. In my size. That *never* happens. Not for my size. Ever. But there they were, deeply discounted. And I never would have gone in there but for a dog who looked a lot like Cabal (not quite as handsome, of course).
Grr, no ticky box function on phone.
This is Feline Food Porn!
I too am heading for a tub soak. No horsies for me, just the day in the kindergarten! Man, teachers are amazing people.
Tub, here i come.
Wikipedia article on Third Place (short, but good jumping off point to find more)
Thanks for (seekrit) congrats, Fiends!
And now I'm off for a bath and a read myself.
:)
Thanks for the big smile first (or nearly first) thing in the morning.
I must say they were quite indignant (in particular Mim) about the dinner OFF the counter policy I tried to enforce while I was there.
I have the sneaky feeling that they only barely tolerated it (and thus let me live) because I was feeding them early and then played with them afterwards.
Oh and congratulations, Adri!
(Whisper) Congratulations, Adri (/Whisper)
I am not gong to tell Tybalt anbout this. He might get Ideas. (More than usual, I mean) We have a very strict 'no walking on the counters' in this house. To be fair, it does apply to both of us.
And I realised last night that he has now trained me to put down the laptop and clear my lap for him, on demand...
Oh, and Happy Firbday, OSS! Have a lovely day. (and Yay for dancing shoes in the correct size)
Hey Fiends...tomorrow is S Day...Shiraz has her post-op X-Ray which should tell us that all has healed well and she is out of confinement. YAH! Freedom.
The "mousies" remind me of the Kliban cat song, "Love to eat them mousies/ Mousies what I love to eat./ Bite they little heads off/ Nibble on they tiny feet."
I see a Gashlycrumb Tinies poster! Awesome! Few people share my love for the Tinies, or else I know too many of the wrong people.
Poor Magic, left without steak...
Happy Happy Firbday Linda - wish I could have celebrated in person with you and the other fiends. Welcome to the best years of your life!
Morning!
Nathilie, no worries, Magic and The Royals do get steak as well. I admire you for trying this off the counter thing while you were here, but I do admit, thought it was a little crazy at the time.
Katie, I feel like I remember that song from somewhere else, can you refresh my memories? You'd love the kitchen, the whole thing is Gorey. No original, but a lot signed.
Beez, On the Queen thing, I just couldn't think of anything else to say and I was getting onto the end of that interveiew. I have better answers ready now.
Hoarders (I have no idea why I watch that, but I can't seem to stop) last night was sad, both hoarding interventions failed. They continued their hoarding ways.
Hee hee! Love it.
Aww, poor Magic. He can't help that he forgot to buy a bow tie.
*psst Yay Adri psst* Low fives: /0\
aaaand tick
Famous Exploding Knife! Yay!
And Happy Firbday to my roomie OSS.
And quiet congrats to Adrii.
And good wishes for Shiraz.
I am coming down with a cold and should not be at work. But I have an important meeting today, AND a paper and hour-long talk to write. Which wouldn't have been such a problem, since I could do them at home and not spread disease, but I left my backup drive at the office. So for today I am Typhoid Phiala, and tomorrow I will stay home.
Thanks for all the firbday wishes Fiends! I think I'd have approached this day much differently if I hadn't found you all. You have made such a wonderful difference in my life.
Sending a firbday-strong wish to Shiraz for her return to cast-free health and good times!
Feel better soon Phiala.
Borders has sent me a firbday coupon and an announcement that Odd and the Frost Giants is out. Methinks these are destined to go together.
Lovely dinner party! Poor Magic looks lonely, thought. Have he and Mim made up?
Adri, congrats. I had a feeling you'd get the job :-) Good luck finding someone to succeed you.
OSS, happy firbday! I waved in your general direction as I was on my way to O'Hare yesterday.
I am spending the next few days in Huntsville, AL. My sweetie is here on business and I decided I needed a break from work, so he's off working and I'm lounging around the hotel in my nightshirt reading, knitting, and I think there will be a nap at some point, too.
Yay for dinner parties. My boys are anything but dainty, so it's lovely to see the ladies at their meal.
I, too, was scared at the prancing on the stove pic. Also - Is Mim missing a leg in that photo? I only count three.
And I LOVED the last shot of Magic singing for his supper. I suspect he's singing cat arias for his lost love, Mim (well, that, and for steak).
Back from two weeks of travel (One week vacation on the beach in NC. One week work meeting in San Fran) Very glad to be home.
(congrats to Adri, good thoughs to Shiraz, and happy belated b-day to OSS!)
Sure- the mousies song is from a cartoon by B. Kliban who drew cartoons for Playboy and also did some very odd little cat comics. Here's a link to the mousies image- http://www.woodka.com/wp-content/stuff/eatcatmp.jpg
Spooky House sounds like a wonderfully unique experience. Bengalsong, scream porches, hot tub, bathing skeletons, Famous Exploding Knife, Gorey kitchen... Eclectic peculiar is a decorating style I can get behind.
Nice of you to take pictures and type that up for Venus. Very nice dinner party. Magic screaming from the porch is my fav.
For Twin Cities Fiends, Boiled in Lead will be playing in Northfield on Oct 2.
Sally-- good thoughts for Shiraz (and for you!)
OSS-- Happy firbday! How convenient that you have a bookstore certificate :D
Katie-- I think perhaps you just haven't asked the right friends (or Fiends) re: Gorey.
DG-- YAY VACATION
Jonathan Coulton is coming to the UK in November (Happy Bounce!)
I think this post just increased my liking for Venus.
And everyone should have a Famous Exploding Knife. Or just an Exploding Knife, doesn't need to be famous.
That's not to say I didn't like Venus before, mind you.
Am finally in Toulouse after a long trip.
Well. I have been at the hotel since an hour but had a light dinner. Wrote food poetry because I finished my book in the plane and I was getting bored waiting for the food.
Happy firbdays all around and recovery dances for those in need.
My very very favorite Kliban cat cartoon is the one with two alley cats on a fence in the moonlight, one saying to the other "If I had two dead rats, I'd give you one." Gave my DH that one on a tee shirt many years ago, and he wore that shirt till it was literally falling into rags.
Wish I could find a replacement....
Third places - never came across the concept before - checked Wikipedia: "these hallmarks of a true "third place": free or inexpensive (check;) food and drink (yes, we talk about them alla time; check,) while not essential, are important; highly accessible (check:) proximate for many (walking distance); involve regulars – those who habitually congregate there; welcoming and comfortable; both new friends and old should be found there (CHECK!)
Very cool. I treasure these places - you fiends and my Pratchett friends - because although I love my friends and neighbors here their beliefs make me throw up a little every now and then.
Adri! (way to go) Sally - fingers crossed for Shiraz. Emily - hope the tech is worked out so you don't have to keep riding this rollercoaster.
The dip in temperatures we've had this week has my tea olive (osmanthus fragrans) blooming like crazy. If you're downwind you can smell it a block away. Smells like love. I, on the other hand, do not and need to go wash off my workout. Later!
Mim totally has 4 legs, really. They like the top of the stove and never go ON it if it is lit.
Yeah, I know, but what can a girl DO?
Nathile, where is Toulouse? Sounds French to me. Wish I was there.
Gayle, Boiled in Lead has a pretty different line up now, and Robin is gone, as well as Adam...
I swear I know that poem elsewhere...The Mousies one.
Jonathon Coultron is coming here too, I forget when, but I think end of October, according to Paul of Paul and Storm. It will be great to see them all again.
Fods, tired, long day. Did good things tho.
A day well spent.
Here's what the original mousies cartoon looked like.
I wonder if any of your mad musician friends put actual music to it?
Kliban Rat t-shirt
http://cartoons.osu.edu/finding_aids/tm/Images/image_pages/cgatm0297.html
Crowned the day by having Mom up for take-out Vietnamese and a movie. Watched "Plan 9 from Outer Space".
Aliens!
Space Invasion!
Zombies!
Vampira and Bela Lugosi!
Oh yez. So bad it's good. In a MST way.
Time for bed. If the movie hasn't left me shaking too hard. From laughter.
Thanks for all the good wishes today!
Ya. Different line up. Still might be fun. And I can walk to the venue.
OSS, sounds like a good day. :)
Q-No Robin? huh. Noticed that Todd was singing again, that surprised me summat..... somehow I have the feeling that happened a while ago. Kinda lost track.
Oh, last "arts and lectures" season one of Omnium's recording groups played here...Flamma Fumana. Smaller world every day....
Happy Firbday, OSS! (belatedly, I know....but the thought was there!)
Con/secret/grats, Adri. Never in doubt, I'm sure.
best thoughts for Shiraz, Sally
Yay for Plan 9! It doesn't get any worse, er, better (in its way) than that :)
and HOLA to Gaypet (waving...)
hugs....and now back to math. wheeeeeeeee.
Everybody, please cross all fingers and toes and send positive and healing thoughts our way.
Shiraz had her first run out the back without being tethered to a human, and all of a sudden was screaming in pain - and can't put her weight on the other back leg.
So, having been given the all clear on the operated on knee...she's off to her vet to have the other one looked at tonight. I've wanted to cry ever since, bad enough that she's in pain, but the irony of it happening when it did.
*shakes fists at the world*
oh sally :( poor thing. sending good thoughts your way
Toulouse is VERY French, Lorraine.
South west of France to be more precise, but you have to fly all the way to Paris and come back down again, so the trip takes about 8 hours in total (door to door, office to hotel).
Oh noooo! Poor Shiraz!
Oh, Sally! I am SO so sorry. those best wishes must have failed; I will boil up another, better set.
hugs and scritches wherever she may wish them to Shiraz. What a brave pup, and what a brave mom.....
Poor Shiraz, and poor Sally. I do hope it is something fiarly easily/quickly treatable this time.
thanks gang. Love you guys so much!
Sally!!
I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing to happen! Poor Shiraz!! My heart is bleeding for you both right now. ((hugs)) and scritches as needed.... The scritches are for you too, BTW.
Like Lys, I'll work up a bigger and better batch of well wishes.
:(
*cries*
We are not happy here, not at all.
Just back from the vet.
Shiraz has done the other hind cruciate ligament.
Not a minute of rest for us, we're about to do the whole 2 month thing again.
Pain and not to mention cost as well I suppose...
Hugs.
{{Sally & Shiraz}}
Absolutely Nat, its a few grand. She's worth it of course.
Oh sally, so sorry to hear that - both for you & Shiraz; such a lot of hard work and expense again just when you thought you were out of the woods.((Sally))
Oh, poor Shiraz! Bigger and better healing thoughts are on their way to her. And for you, dear Sally, many hugs. I'm so sorry you all have to go through this again.
Love and good wishes to Sally and Shiraz!
Oh Sally, no fun that!
Mim just peed on me. WTF? She's been peeing places, but not ON me before. I am thinking vet. Something is bothering this girl.
What a morning.
Oh Sally - the poor pupster!!! I hope maybe this time around isn't quite as bad since you will have come up with some coping mechanisms. Still, hardly fair at all!!
I think this was my favorite blog post ever of all time.
Adri: Congrats on the job!
Everyone: I am thinking of moving to New Orleans this summer! I'm currently looking at my options for jobs and will probably try to get a teaching certificate!
What a cool post. I enjoyed the photo story. Thanks!
Also, oh noes Sally! So sorry to hear that! Hugs!!!
Maybe Mim is jealous of Venus stealing all the limelight...
Oh Sally! Poor Shiraz! Poor you!!
Wendy, New Orleans? How cool! I love it there.
Glad you are liking the photo story. I have no idea what Mim's problem is, she is peeing everywhere. We'll rule out any medical issues first, then see.
It's not like she doesn't have litter boxes, and she is fine with the litter. I clean them every morning. They have 4 for the two of them.
It's getting troubling.
Oh, Sally! Sorry to hear the bad news. Hugs!
Good luck with the pee trouble, Q!
OH Sally! Hugs to you both!
Q - Nothing smells like cat pee...except eucalyptus...what a lovely way to start the day.
Looks like Miss Adri and I are meeting for lunch today so she can get her hoop my sister made her and we can gorge ourselves on Indian food. :)
How's the AFP hoop Quiche? Getting any use out there?
Ben just headed off to school. I've got a sink full of dishes that aren't washing themselves.
FabLo: My friend is going to graduate school there. I found out that there's a big possibility I can get grants to reimburse moving costs from the Jewish Federation, and there's also a good chance I could get a sign on bonus if I get a teaching job through a certificate program that lets people with BAs become teachers. I was planning on moving to NO before Katrina, and the chaos after changed my plans, but now I think it would make me happy to help rebuild and settle down there. I've been looking for a job in Tampa for a year and a half and am still underpaid and undervalued with no new job in sight.
I hope Mim is okay! Earlier Serious Black was licking Kitty's ear. Then, he decided to try to eat her ear and was surprised at her angry reaction. He has problems.
Oh, and if anyone is in Tampa this October, I can get you cheap tickets to Howl O Scream! I'm scary!
Oh Sally, I'm so sorry. Many hugs and well wishes going your way. <3
Wendy, as a New Orleans native, I salute you and also caution you to do your research as to what type of school you might end up teaching in. NoLa can be pretty rough, especially in the education system.
I'm going home for my birthday this year which happens to once again coincide with Mardi Gras. DARN :D
and, yes, today I am working in the wilds of the South Bay and meeting Chantrelle for delicious foods and to obtain my hoop.
Adri: I've always been poor and gone to kind of rough schools and/ or lived in rough neighborhoods. When I was little, I got punched in the face a few times for walking down the wrong street. I know it will probably be rough going, but I am optimistic. I know I need to do something to get out of Tampa, and for a long time I've wanted to do something that actually makes a difference for the better in the world. My idealism is tempered with practicality.
I've realized that a lot of the people who come from "bad neighborhoods" like me because of my calm, respectful, and friendly mannerisms. I used to work at a Piggly Wiggly in a bad neighborhood in NC, and most of the customers loved me because I'm a warm person who likes to make people happy. I'm hoping this will translate well into the classroom.
Check out these photos of Edward Gorey's house!
Some of those library shots seem reminiscent of some places I have seen recently! (Hee)
Edward Gorey's House.
Sally, I am so sorry!
AletaMay- I just saw those myself, and popped over here to mention it- what a crazy random happenstance!
well sally, at least you get to keep spending quality time with shiraz on those walks. that quite a lovely byproduct of the first surgery. sorry she...and you, have to go through the pain and expense again.
Test comment. Test comment. My account is very very messed up. Let's hope this works.
It worked.
If any Fiends would like to see, Teen Ink posted my poem on their website; I don't yet know if it will be published in the magazine. It's not a very good poem but it is solidly true. If you like it, or not, maybe you could leave a comment?
http://teenink.com/poetry/all/article/132677/Shoulds/
It's posted as anaonymous - but I don't mind if you guys know who wrote it.
That is really lovely Emily! Well said!
Congratulations Emily, and very well said :-)
Why anonymous, Emily? Is that a policy of the publication or your own choice?
That's a great poem Emily, and I really am going to print it.
Wonderful, Emily! I'll be copying that one into my notebook.
It was anonymous, Nathalie, because ... well, it's so personal. I knew I didn't want my name attached to that, because I don't want everyone to know I feel that way, that sometimes the need to be thin can really hurt. And sometimes when people do find out, they give me this incredulous look and go, "YOU? YOU feel that way? Not YOU. I can't believe it, I don't believe it." It's weird.
Fiends, I can't even BEGIN to tell you how much you made my night. You made this the best night in a long time with your comments. And then tonight was the first time my mother saw it, and from her I got the best initial reaction to my writing I can remember: a looooong, drawn-out gasp and then, "EMILY!!!!" She liked it.
Thank you so much. I've never had better friends.
fabulouslorraine... you are hysterical. I love it.
New post is up!
Everybody goes to the vet....
(Nice poem Emily!)
Thank you, Lorraine.
Sally, Buggerit millenium hand-n-shrimp. Neither you nor Shiraz deserve a repeat. Hugs and scritches, and patience to you both.
Bengalgirl, I thought for a moment you had found a place I could buy the Rat shirt! How funny that it is in OSU's collection. I went to school there well before my DH and I met...
Thanks!
Sibilant, secret congrats to Adri, and a high five to Emily for her excellent poem.
Candle, being recently burnt at both ends, is down to a stub. Love to you all...
:) This made me smile. And then it made me laugh. :)
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