Ponies and Food...
I rode yesterday for the first time since I, er, fell on my butt. It was sore, but I don't believe it did it any damage. This makes me happy, as I have missed riding in the morning something fierce. Here's a pic of My Little Pony, looking oddly two dimensional, no doubt due to my amazing photography skills.He seemed happy to see me. Or maybe it was the bananas. But we had a nice time, Alejandro and I. (for the horse people out there: 2 point is my friend)
I've been silent here for a bit on something that's been frustrating me to no end, so I think I'll talk about it now. That would be the fact I haven't been losing any weight. First 35 pounds? Dead easy, stuff melted off, but nothing now for 3 months.
This is due solely to the fact that I haven't been eating right. I can't put it down to a "Plateau" or "Oh, I am gaining muscle with all this working out" Nope. Been eating crap.
It's about not paying attention, about coming home, living alone and not having someone there saying "Whoa, didn't you already HAVE dinner", it's about being too tired to make anything and going for the easy option.
And in some ways, a failure like this, and figuring out how to overcome it, is a really good thing to have happen. I'm taking a really good look at myself, and doing a lot of thinking about the WHY I've been doing this, what I am afraid of, how can I be willing to work so hard at workouts, but not do the simplest thing like eat right?
Learning a LOT. Sat down with Little Evil, my trainer, last week and had a long talk where I nearly ended up crying. Gots a Plan now. Here's some of the things I've learned, if you're ever stuck in this spot, it may help. It wll help me.
But I stress, what works for me, may not work for you. Find out what DOES work for you.
I was talking with someone a few weeks ago, about her life, actually, and she kept saying she wanted to do this and that, but kept throwing excuses of why it wouldn't work now, but maybe would someday. I told her JUST FREAKING DO IT NOW, you want it to happen, go GET it, stop with the excuses. I did that a lot with eating crap "Oh, just this once, it won't hurt, I'll eat right tomorrow" Right. Do it Freaking NOW, Quiche. Today.
Cause that's all you have.
Plan ahead. I'm way too tired to make anything when I get home after training. Every day now, dinner is here and waiting when I get home. Both at home and at work, the food is there. Good food.
I write everything down in a little book. Right then. Every bit I eat. The fact that I do not wish to write down "Entire Box of Cheezits" helps a lot. I know what to do. That fruit and veg section in the store? That's my friend. Cheese and butter are not my friends. I've left friends before who were not good for me. These are no different.
I have the workouts planned so I never have to make myself go on my own. I'd never do it. Find some support, whatever it takes. I weigh in now every week with Little Evil. In public. In the locker room. I talk to you. FB and Twitter. Put it out there. I got the workouts down, and have an AMAZING group of Derby Sisters who cheer me, but the food thing has been on my own, and I've sucked, quite frankly, no one is there. It's all me. Not anymore.
If I have to publicly post what I eat every day: I will do that. If that's what it takes.
It's been a week now, I'm doing it right. Tomorrow, we see if it's working. Habits are really hard to change. Where you get your comfort is really hard to change. Looking at yourself and kicking your own ass, is really hard. Freaky hard.
But so is anything worthwhile.
I think one of the hardest things to say is: I love myself enough to do this. For myself.
I'm getting my mental game on here. And I don't lose.
Love and FIT,
Lorraine
40 Comments:
First, you CAN do this. You can. I have absolutely no doubt. You are one strong, kickass woman. Writing down what you eat will definitely help you.
This is just a stumbling block; it happens to everyone. The key thing is that you see it. And you're going to kick the crap out of it. So to speak.
So, I'm here, Q -- right behind you. You've got this, chica.
Also, two point? Totally your friend. ;-) ~Ali
Right there with you. With the same reasons and excuses. And those things you've learned to do are what work for me too....when I do them. But, yeah, habits are hard to break. And four decades of emotional eating is one very big habit for me to break. Because, does the bad food make me feel better? Hell yes. For a bit. Then the consequences arrive.
On a brighter note, I'll be headed to New Orleans for a conference soon. Where there will also be a Fiend Mini-Moot. Jody and I will be roomies, and we will get to see Wendy. I am looking forward to this so much.
Grrrr. Tick.
Everyone should read this. You rock, owning up that the "I" is the problem and not "it's not the right time, ever"- "I never can" or "someday" or the worst is "I never have any luck every things goes wrong in my life" is the toughest part of making things happen in anyone's life.
great advice and stay tough.
(Hollyandtheday) Holly S.
THank you. I am there with you, but I am lacking the wonderful support team you have. So, I am working on getting one. :)
Again, thank you.
We can do this!! Yesterday I stayed within my weight watchers points and walked during my work breaks instead of playing Plants vs Zombies at my desk (I totally played it while walking). Mental game = ON.
Good for you - taking a hard and honest look at yourself.
I need to do that myself...
One (silly little) thing I have found that really helps me: if you don't buy it, it is not there to eat. I simply do not buy the junk or snacks anymore. No soda -- not even diet -- so I am forced to drink water. No Cheezits, no (sigh) ice cream, no cookies, etc. So, when I am really beat after a long day, if I am hungry, I have no choice but to eat something healthy. Because there is no "fun" stuff in the house to chow down on and I am too tired to run to the store...
Right so too.
Don't buy the tempting evil food.
Keep a food diary. Prepare meals in advance for when you come home exhausted.
We are here for you.
You don't have to do that part on you own. That's what fiends are for.
BRAVO
And I woke with a start from a dream about a year ago, with "If not now, WHEN?" ringing in my ears.
If I put 1/4 of the energy into keeping track of what I eat that I do into resisting the idea, it would be done...
The other thing to remember is that your body is using a heck of a lot of energy now, and if you don't feed it, it will figure out how to get more mileage out of ever bite you eat.
In other words, don't starve yourself, either.
One of the things I found that helped me was this app called MyNetDiary. The reason it worked was not only will it track your calories and the food's fat/carb/protein values, but it shows you how much you have left for the day and a RATIO of what you're eating. That was HUGE for me, and helped me realize I simply don't EVER get enough protein.
And cheese is everyone's enemy - if only it didn't taste so GOOOOOD!
Cheese is not the enemy. There are no enemies. Eating too much cheese is the problem.
Keeping track of what you eat - honestly - is the only way to know how much too much is. As I've mentioned before, I use fitday.com but there are other options. A notebook is convenient, but the best part of using a computer system is that it does all the math for you, as projectvalkyrie says. The scientist says: collect data, or how can you possibly manage things.
Another thought: if you are balancing eating with exercise and aiming for 700 calories below what you use, that's a reasonable target for serious weightloss, then give yourself a day every so often, maybe even once a week, where you eat what you want. It helps keep you from fixating on food cravings to know that you'll get to eat whatever-it-is occasionally, and it keeps your body from going into starvation mode.
Short-term, it's all about balance.
Long-term, it's all about balance. Just the set-point is different.
yeah. i hear ya'.
work that plan!
Wow Lorraine! You are always inspiring. It's wonderful how I can be thinking on something and you then go and verbalize it. I have no doubt of your ability to cross your current hurdle...and to succeed! (And to motivate the rest of us as well.) Thanks for your words!
These posts are so inspirational and always make me emotional. Thank you for sharing!
Yes to all of the above! As for too tired to cook, etc...I get home and I'm exhausted too. Lately I just steam a plate of frozen broccoli or brussel sprouts in the microwave. It takes a few minutes, you don't have to tend a stove and cleanup is just a fork and a plate. Keep rocking it!
I remember reading once that to follow a diet means to keep it more than private. That seems to help you. I really am happy that you feel the drive to keep going for what you want - in everything.
Quick tick.
And yes, you can do this. You are doing this.
I know you can do this!
I have the opposite problem, I can eat right, no problem. My life is about food and the majority of what I make is healthy. I sit on my ass all day though. I have women committed to skating with me, we just have to go to the damn rink!
JUST FREAKING DO IT!
I so wish we all lived closer together and could pick each other up and skate or eat or kick each other's butts!
That comment was from this morning. It was still sitting there when I came back to my computer. Luckily, it's still relevant!
Thanks, all. You inspire me too. It helps to scream out loud the things that scare you most about yourself, the things you fail at, the things that make you feel lees than happy.
I have Little Evil, I just write it down, give it to her every week, and she'll tell me if it's right or not, balanced etc. I have a good general idea of how many calories I'm getting. (When I eat RIGHT, hee hee)
And just between us, I peaked at the scale. It's working all right. Won't be OFFICIAL until tomorrow tho.
Food diaries really do rock. I've been keeping mine again because I have to keep a dragon eye on my food tolerances and reactions. It really does stop me grabbing the wrong thing to eat, but all the same the only way I can stop myself from eating calorie laden foods is not to have them in the house. *sigh*
Keep on inspiring us Quiche, helps all of us as much as you me thinks.
The battle with food is one of the hardest things I also face. It's a right bitch.
It can be overcome, though. You guys know me. I stopped eating and then when I started again I felt rather like I couldn't stop. Right now I'm pretty much okay. I tend to swing more toward not being able to eat than wanting a lot, but I would say I am mostly fine. It's just the body image thing won't go away. But hey, I think most of us feel we look like crap, utterly horrible - I feel like that often, no matter what I weigh. That's something that has to be overcome step by step. I'm mostly all right with food - now I have to learn to accept myself. I've mostly done that too.
GOOD MORNING!
Going to a "All you can fit in the trunk for $25" plant sale at Slam'er's greenhouse THEN going to get weighed.
Am optimistic on both counts.
REALLY sore this morning. My sisters hit hard, we start out saying "Positional Blocking only, no hitting" then we get into it and forget.
Emily, GO YOU! You're inspiring to me, you know.
Thanks Quiche, I'm glad. :)
Awesome plant sale! Especially since the Prius has deceptively large storage in the trunk!
I think this is my first time commenting. I also live solo. I found that one thing that really helps me get my veggies in is joining a CSA. (Community Supported Agriculture). I have to go to the farm once a week and pick up the stuff (and do the pick your own crops) and then make it. (Or else it sits in the fridge and sneers at me, making me feel guilty).
It is SO easy to eat junk when you are single, or to grab something quick.... but healthy pre-prepped stuff can also be quick.
Catherine, welcome, you should post more often!
I should do another blog. Got some cool Bengal pics just now...
New blog post is UP!
Google primal eating and see what you think of that. It's not a struggle, it's not a fight, it makes you love eating as much real food as you want to and reprograms your brain and body. This is not spam, I promise.
I work constantly and I'm always exhausted and hungry when I get home, which makes it hard for me to eat right. So, I've been looking for dinners that are healthy and super fast. Like, 10 minutes fast. Here's one that's been working- microwaved steamed veggies dumped on top of stovetop couscous with some savory spices. Takes about 7 minutes. It's very tasty so I don't feel deprived.
Good luck!
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