Thursday, March 19, 2009

Pictures From Kitty!

Thank you all for the advice today, it did help. I will be doing a proper, with new pics for Janet, Royals post soon, and we will be finding their Person. They deserve that, and if I find them someone who will love them and be that person, I can save another, who might not otherwise be saved. And that makes the difference.

I got some fun pics from our own Kitty today, moments ago, so without further delay...



Here is our Kitty with some unknown Kitties. (I know, this may get confusing) If you don't know Kitty, she is Boss's other Assistant, a totally amazing women, and one of my best friends on the planet. When it became clear that we needed more help, there were no other candidates for the job. She didn't exactly APPLY for the job, mind you, more like she was drafted. The words "Press Gang" come to mind. She also runs Neverwear.net THE place for Boss Merch.

She helps me. Saves me. Listens to me rant, and makes me laugh. Sometimes she goes on the road with rock stars and takes care of them. I get to see a lot of acts I would not have thought I would see. She is going to make sure I get Laminates from now on when I visit her, and not the Sticky Passes. (I just threw that in, one dreams)



The last time Kitty was out here, she fell in LOVE with my little shelter rescue, Kylie. And took her home to Crusty Old Batman, who also promptly fell in love with Kylie. It's a total Love Fest in LA.



I mentioned the Bengal Proof screened porch that WoodsmanHans is building for me, so Venus and Mim can have porch time today, and she told me the tale of how Kylie has torn thru her screen, but had not yet figured out she could tear completely thru, and so....



Sits quite happily with just her head poking outside. Not bad for a kitten who started off life being found starving in a field in the middle of nowhere.



And finally, a shout out to two of my favorite people, Mr Drew (lighting God to Rock) there on the right, with friend out in LA, standing under a sign for one of the most seriously freaking cool rockers going AFP (Stands for Amanda Palmer) She's out on the road now, and we send her love and hope she comes to wherever you are soon.

Love, Kitty, Screens and Friends,
Lorraine

143 Comments:

At 21:59 Blogger Lyndyn said...

I am feeling serious guilt over my own neglected blog, Miss Two Posts in One Day!

At 22:15 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Kylie's head-hole is hilarious! She has to be part dog.

At 22:15 Blogger AletaMay said...

Hee. Love Kylie's head hole. That is just perfect. Although I am glad it is not my screen!

Night fiends!

At 22:16 Blogger AletaMay said...

Oh Sally -- hope it goes/has gone well for you today.

At 22:17 Blogger DataGoddess said...

Love the kitty-hole! Has Batman found it yet?

At 22:19 Blogger Dragonsally said...

House is sparkling clean, just waiting now....

At 22:23 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Doesn't happen often, Lyndyn, trust me...

The Head Hole! Too perfect! I can't leave windows open here when I am gone Mim takes the screens OFF. Found her outside one day when I got home sitting in the middle of the road , and BOTH of them out in the middle of the night one night, WAY scary...

But apparently, one can get screens that will stand up to 500 pounds of force, great for tornado season! (their selling point, not mine)

At 22:24 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Clean houses are good, Merry Housekeeper is bringing a TEAM over to my place on Saturday, ALL DAY.

At 22:31 Blogger vampi said...

a team? oh my!

v.cool pics
lol at the screen hole.

At 22:48 Blogger Na said...

Got not much to say.
Shall just tack the ticky box
Then dream 'til Friday

(well - but that head hole is funny! all catkins deserve such happy homes and love. best wishes with the Royals, Q, that they find their home, and perhaps we learn that's all Lear's worrying about; Why isn't Our Person here yet? (I know, it's more than that, but it would be nice if it was only that))

At 23:05 Blogger Kitty Cat said...

Quichey, that was a very sweet post, thank you dollface.

head hole! Batman doesn't want to get outside like Kylie does...
he will go with her outside, but she wants to be OUTDOORS all the time.

i want more LEAR photos please.

At 23:06 Blogger Adri said...

Great kitty photos. I'm climbing otu from under a mountain of work that fell by the wayside while I was at SxSW (geek edition) earlier this week. By 'climbing out from under' I mean 'emergency preparing a proposal that will take almost all night, likely.' I'm going to SF on Sunday to do another five day conference. That's three days to reconnect with my partner, my cats, and get two weeks worth of work done.

And, my aunt showed up on my doorstep this morning for a 'surprise visit' after impulsively driving all night to get here.

So, I am thinking of all of you Fiends, and at least scanning posts and sometiems comments, but I probably won't be around for another week or more. Miss you guys!

At 23:17 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Oh, I want a team to come and work on my house.
Adri, have fun with your Aunt. Good timing, with you being home and all *grin*

Pete is bringing home choccy. I need it after all the hard work, which I must tell you included shoveling dirt and stuff off the drive way. My hips are not happy with me.

At 23:17 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Oh, I want a team to come and work on my house.
Adri, have fun with your Aunt. Good timing, with you being home and all *grin*

Pete is bringing home choccy. I need it after all the hard work, which I must tell you included shoveling dirt and stuff off the drive way. My hips are not happy with me.

At 23:42 OpenID wittymom said...

A team of people? o_O Hopefully the Bengals don't have a fit. I know my two regular old house cats don't like numerous strangers at once.

Also, perhaps the head hole is on purpose? After all, it's a big scary world out there. Maybe best just to peek eh? :D

At 00:11 Blogger ariandalen said...

Kylie with just her head out the screen is priceless. :)

And to think, I won't open our windows that wide for fear of Tangwyn falling out and pushing out the screen in the process. Granted, most of our windows are only 8" from the floor, but the sills are wide enough he can sit and lay on them, even when closed.

At 00:25 Blogger Bridget said...

Head-hole in the screen, don't I wish!

One day last summer, when I was out working at the picnic table in the back yard, my cat Ford (yes, Ford Prefect) simply slid open the screen door, like he'd been doing it all his life. Ford is not a bengal, but a too-smart-for-his-own-good grey domestic longhair with a lot of personality.

I looked up from the laptop and there he was, making his way around the corner of the house toward the front, and the very busy street. So very pleased, I was. Managed to catch up to him without spooking him before he got too far. Whew.

I will be replacing that screen door with one that has a locking mechanism sometime this month, before the weather warms up.

This is the same cat who bangs the cabinet doors to wake us up, or when we wants the litter box to be cleaned. He occasionally crawls into the cabinets, but then sometimes he forgets how to get out (??!!??). I briefly considered putting child locks on the bathroom cabinets, but then I gave in and moved the chemicals up high, and the towels down low. *shrug* What else can you do?

At 00:52 Blogger Lexocat said...

Love the pics. Really love the head hole. I'm trying to think what a human equivalent would be...

At 01:19 Blogger Dragonsally said...

and you thought the wigs were bad

At 01:29 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I go on mission for a day and TWO posts happen?
The mind boggles (although it could be serious lack of sleep).

At 01:31 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Having grumbled I can now say that I love the kitty pictures and especially the one with Kitty herself (very nice picture).

At 01:32 Blogger Adri said...

I'm super angry right now re: the proposal I'm working on, so I took a break to check blogs.

Y'all, the Hugo nominations are fucking fantastic this year. (Q's Boss, is, of course, among them). I couldn't choose in the best novel, best graphic novel, best dramatic long form OR short form!

At 02:33 Blogger Phiala said...

Adri, I agree completely - what a tough choice! And congrats to Boss, and to many of my favorite authors.

Nice photos, Kitty.

And Sally, glad the inspection was anticlimactic.

At 03:30 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

I love that head through the screen photo. I imagine it's like seeing the Cheshire Cat from the other side of the screen. Hehehe!

At 06:11 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I have not seen this Hugo list...Must catch up.

Nathilie, you too! Or we will get culled from the pack!

Ok, this is MOST unreasonably early. WAY too early. And I have had no tea, up, dressed and OUT, or I would have so pulled my head back into the bed hole and not made it.

Tea? Tea? I know you are here somewhere....

At 06:17 Blogger Dan Guy said...

I am sitting in traffic, inching along at a quarter mile per hour, reading offensive bumper stickers off of the truck in front of me. His plates read "BKEPR2", so apparently he likes his bees like he doesn't like his political candidates...

And now I have kitty pics to look at instead!

At 06:20 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

AH, I see the Hugos now, I agree, tough choice...

Yes, a team of people, place will be cleaned top to bottom. It's going to be so nice to have a CLEAN all the way thru, carpets, floors, dusting all the skeletons, candelabras, getting the cobwebs off the things that hang from the ceilings....Going into the scary basement and well, I don't kno what one does down there besides dress, I avoid it.

At 06:23 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Good Heavens! You fell off the nest?
You are already awake and it is just barely lunch time here!

At 06:31 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Beekeepers are by and large a crusty lot, Dan, and often un-wise in their political dealings. WHy do you think there are so few bees?

Not sure WHAT I am doing up and at work, but I do have tea now and I am sure it wlll come back to me sooner or later...

At 06:33 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I hope it doesn't involve the waking up of boss early as he had problems falling asleep, tweetering far too late to be operational before lunch time (your time).

At 06:37 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

It involves TRYING to wake Boss, which isn't working so far...

At 06:41 Blogger spacedlaw said...

No wonder he was upset at the fact that he could not fall asleep. You might have to rent a crane to lift him out of bed.

At 06:52 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I read : rent a crate

Might work best at that.Poor man, really could not sleep.

At 06:56 Blogger Jess said...

You are up early! Good morning.

Head Hole! Brilliant. :D Batman and Kylie are adorable. I love that they're having a lovefest out there.

There are screens that hold up to 500 lbs of pressure? I think I want some just on general principles. That's impressive.

Ugh. Want coffee.

At 07:04 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I know, think of the things you would not have to worry about if you had 500 test pound screens.....

At 07:14 Blogger Jess said...

Oh yeah. My cats like to hang on mine. Tiny holes everywhere. No one's torn a head hole yet and frankly that surprises me.

At 07:26 Blogger spacedlaw said...

We have some type of net too. And It IS sturdy but not cat proof (even if Caos has problems going through it nowadays)... They like to climb it.

At 07:30 Blogger Jess said...

Nathalie, that's not so much a screen as a Decorative Climbing Apparatus. :D

At 07:49 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

Nathalie, your cat is so adorable. Look at those eyes! Great photo. Did you train as a photographer? You take amazing photos.

Jess, you kitties are the prettiest, furiest cats! Look at them wanting to go outside.

Q, using a crate to get Boss out of bed. Hehe... That was a great mis-read. Thanks for the early morning laugh!

At 08:02 Blogger ivenotime said...

Miss kitty, great pics - love the outfit! so funny miss kylie sticks her head out the screen, too cute. off to work now, youngest is coming home today after her trip to london! can't wait to see her! have a wonderful friday everyone!

At 08:04 Blogger Jess said...

Use a crate attached to a crane! Nah, that'd be going too far.

Erin - the fur's only pretty till you realise it's everywhere. Though a Hairy House is a small price to pay for what one gets back in Wuv.

At 08:31 Blogger EmilyLady said...

Kitty really is awesome. I still feel I haven't thanked her enough for introducing me to Boss in NYC a couple of years ago.

(She wasn't there, but I couldn't have done it without her/)

Wonderful little head-hole.

At 08:32 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a crane hoisting Boss out'o'bed.

Speaking of cranes, check out this bengal kitten in the "crane" position. I didn't know they could do karate.

At 09:17 Blogger Hellie said...

My brother's little kitty Flo is an expert at the crane too. Her favourite position is balanced on hind legs on the top of her scratching post, very zen like! She's not a bengal though, she looks like a little fluffy teddy bear but I swear she's secretly a ninja cat.

Thank you all so much for the lovely replies yesterday, sending hugs back to all. Laura, I loved what you said "at least the sorrow reminds me I loved them. And that must be worth something, to have loved and been loved". Definately yes; the sadness and grief we experience brings home just how lucky we are to have people in our lives that we care about so much and care for us too.

I didn't have time to check in again last night, was organising packing to go home to my folks for funeral nx wk. All meeting at my brother's house first though, to celebrate mothers day and also my niece's 3rd birthday. She has chicken pox so we had to postpone her party in case she's still contagious!

At 09:35 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Those are all great pics..Yes, the crane position....

This girl is going back to bed now, please...

At 09:43 Blogger Hellie said...

Sounds like you could do with a rest after your manic week! Hope you've got a nice relaxed weekend planned while the cleaning goes on around you!!

At 09:43 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Bonne nuit!

At 09:59 Blogger Dan Guy said...

If you had to write a Fiends Valedictory Address, what would it look like?

Mine would start with a typical call to attention, then that great old standby: the dictionary definition, followed by a pop culture reference. Something like:

"Friends! Fiends! Benglas, bees, and assembled guests. Wikipedia defines 'quiche' as 'a baked dish that is based on a custard made from eggs and milk or cream in a pastry crust'. That great American, Julia Child, said, of the most common variety, quiche lorraine, 'The classic quiche Lorraine contains heavy cream, eggs, and bacon, no cheese.' How wise she was!

But what does this mean for us, assembled here today?"

And then some midrash, referencing the "cream" of our fiendom, the joy and the wisdom, heavy, that we derive from it, the lack of "cheese" -- rather, the sincerety that shines through. And in the end I'd return to the definition for some clever wordplay to tie it all together.

What would yours look like?

At 10:32 Blogger vampi said...

i'm bad at speeches.

and this made me laugh cat food?

At 11:12 Blogger Jess said...

Dan - Roflols! :D Though it'd be "Eggs of Wisdom," surely.

(I would not be asked to make a valedictory speech. I would be asked to introduce the valedictorian. It would be June 1992 all over again.)

At 11:34 Blogger Fluffy said...

I think my valedictory would start with "Beer, wine and martinis on me!," and follow with, "The bar is that way - let's go!"

Do I know how to work a crowd or what?

Quote: I like the coin toss idea as a way of sneaking into your gut feelings.

That is such a smart thing. A deceptively, fiendishly smart thing that doesn't reveal the depths of it's smartness all at once.

Right now, I've crossed the plumber off the to-wait-for list, am watching the Lawn Guys spreading fresh mulch and happiness, and am awaiting the Appliance Repair Person. Because the washer is wonky. And I'm going to begin The Newsletter for next month, and call more Expensive Service Providers because we need stuff done all over this property. Aaargh.

At 12:12 Blogger Dan Guy said...

I killed it, didn't I?

Well, if a Valedictory Address is too much, how about a sea shanty?

At 12:52 Blogger Fluffy said...

Mine would do for a sea shanty, methinks.

Go for it, Dan!

At 13:02 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Dan--Shards of Wisdom? From breaking eggs.......oh well. I don't know any sea shanties suitable for PG consumption. In fact, I'd say the few I can recall border on NC-17.

At 13:18 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

My house has the nickname "The Slanty Shanty" and it's a block from the sea. Does that count?

I swear, the house got that name "BEFORE" I bought it. Doh!

At 13:23 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Great pics of all kitties involved (human and feline)!

I love that i came home to see Boss on Colbert *and* in my new copy of BUST magazine...hot picture too! ;-)

I'm sorry there is so much sadness descending on fiends around the world :( Hugs to all that need it.

I feel i'm slowing becoming human again after the trip and flight. Ben's at school and i'm catching up on emails and house crap.

At 13:29 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Oh, and did you hear the whitehouse is joining the ranks of beekeepers? Woo!! Garden, composting and bees!!! The bee bengal alliance has hit the big time politico circles....uh-oh.

At 13:58 Blogger Arwenn said...

White House is also getting a dog....so that ought to keep things nice and even :)

At 14:23 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

Question:

Does anyone have any ideas on how to keep my cat (Oliver) from attacking my dachshund (Bubba)?

I'm pretty sure that Oliver just wants to play. His toys don't interest him. He seems to want to play with the dogs because they're about the same size as him (I'm guessing this is why).

Normally, it's not a problem, but Bubba's shouders and neck are sensitive from some past abuse, and he just had a surgery to extract a tooth that we knew would eventually have to come out.

Oliver has been jumping on Bubba and rolling him over like a turtle. I'm afraid it's going to damage Bubba's back.

Do you have any thoughts or ideas?

At 14:40 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Apart from spraying him with a water gun when he does, no.

At 15:22 Blogger Jess said...

Poor Bubba. I wish I had a suggestion. :(

Or a sea shanty.

What I actually have in my head is this.

It's been that sort of day.

Also, Manwife speculates that the White House Bees are for getting rid of Cheney's killer wasps.

At 16:24 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Just got back from my SEOND airport run today, did get a nap, but this girl is going to SLEEP tonight, I have some serious plans for it.

Managed to get wonkly lost going to the airport. Only been doing it for 17 years you know. SIgh.

Erin, if you are not home with them, keep them separate, if you are, keep an eye out, and every time your cat goes to the dog, offer her something else, she wants to play, toss a mousie, or a treat, or best ever, the featherstick.

When she goes for the dog, distract her, make a catnip place, have toys everywhere. Cats respond really well to positive training things.

You can use a water pistol, but I have not had much luck, the cats seem to figure out it is me pretty quick. A pop can of coins, tossed to make a loud noise some people do, but really I find they work better with positive things.

The more toys around the better, boxes, tunnels, cubes, cat tress covered in cat nip, anything to make something else funner than the dog.

Keep me posted...

At 17:23 Blogger ariandalen said...

Glad you got back okay, Ms. Fabulous, even if you did take the scenic route. Sleep deprivation does strange things. Here's to sleeping well tonight! c\_/

Dan. What got you thinking about valedictory speeches? Why would anyone want to leave Fiendom? Take a break...sure, but leave? Surely you jest!

Happy Equinox!

At 18:24 Blogger Siri said...

The Kitty Wigs are very bad. Jess - Quiche - no no. Bad.

(Now, if Kitty wears a wig, that's fine, but NO to putting wigs on kitties.)

At 19:18 Blogger Siri said...

Cripes - for the 2nd night in a row, I killed the thread, deader than Dick Cheney's killer wasps.


Sheesh

At 19:20 Blogger AletaMay said...

Hi Siri! Not dead the thread. Just sleeping!

At 19:56 Blogger Siri said...

whap whap whap.


Nope, looks dead to me.

At 21:00 Blogger Lyndyn said...

Erin - the thing that made our young cat (Dante) leave our senior cats (Agatha Christie and Simon Templar) and our dogs alone was bring in a feral kitten that had been living in our back yard. Now they play like fiends and the rest of the menagerie sit around looking down on them in a smug fashion.

PS: the feral kitten came from many generations of feral cats and was wild wild wild until, one day, he suddenly wasn't. Our theory is that when his mom weaned him, he got lonely and we were able to over the course of a couple of days turn him from feral into a cat quite comfortable with lounging on top of the dvr.

I've been trying for a couple years to trap his mother...to do a trap, spay and release...so far she has proven too wily.

At 22:26 Blogger AletaMay said...

It is quiet around here tonight! I got sucked down various rabbit holes this evening -- including GoodReads. Yicks.

Almost time to unplug for the evening here in my little corner of the world.

At 22:34 Blogger vampi said...

i'm around. i'd rather be dining but boy is being slow. and i'll be around later because of last minute work i'm waiting on someone one else to submit.

ad sunday i'm going to see the new movie monsters vs aliens. sunday is the dreamworks screening. if any local la fiends want to go, we have 2 extra tix. screening is at the gibson amphitheatre at universal. email me gmail is vampiress or facebook me.

i'm listening to the new decemberists album. it's really weird. it got ll 70's rock opera just now. i think i like it, i just need a few more listens.

At 23:12 Blogger Chantrelle said...

it was pizza-popcorn-movie night w/the neighbors. mostly it was wine night...yum. between wine and lingering jetlag, i probably should avoid writing more ;-)

At 01:52 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Okay....I have an odd thingie to lay before the Fiends. Something has happened on Facebook that I've never experienced before.....nor ever expected to experience.

I'm the "behind the scenes" person: crew, security, ensemble player, concierge, talent wrangler, facilitator, publicist...played all those rolls to one degree or another.

But..well...when we were teens and twenty-somethings, my best friend created a universe. Not for gaming; he writes...and these were the stories he felt born to tell. He peopled it with characters based quite extensively on his closest companions. And actually, the group of us spent quite a bit of time discussing (cause we were mostly gamers/role players/creative types/incipient movie makers) our "other selves" (no buttons, tho!)
Expanding the characters, producing ideas and even seeding story lines that the creator found good and incorporated into his universe.

So.....years later. He has written several novels and stories about "us" and "our mission". Electronically published, but hey...they are out there, and they have fans.

Soooooo......evidently one of these fans is deeply attached to the character which just happens to be based on moi. (odd aside, some aspects of her character which seemed unlikely at the time are in fact things I have since been and done. But that's not important right now.)

ANYhoo----the original writer, being a Friend of both her and I on FB, mentioned who I "was" in the stories....that this character she is so into is a real person.

So she sends me an FB message which begins "OMG!!! *fangirls out*" and signs off with a "Squeee".
Along with a Friend request.

Little policy I have: only Friending either Fiends I know something about, or people I've actually met in person and know (well, and Seals..but that's another story :) )

So what do I do here? I have NO clue! Tell her *why* I won't Friend her, and probably insult her?

How do I explain that the character who means so much to her was built of some facets of me expressed nearly 30 years ago? Why would she want to know or be friends with the "me" of now?

I can't decide if it is flattering...really creepy...or both. I'm NOT real happy with my old friend for "outing" me, as it were, that way.

Any suggestions, words of wisdom or simply thoughts of anyone who feels I'm getting a bit above myself (or just even more long winded than usual :) ) and wants to cut me down to size.....gratefully accepted.

Thank you for *listening*...

At 02:50 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Lys, this is an intolerable situation. What your friend did was unconscionable, and I'd be having stern words with him. I think he owes you a huge apology.
Interesting ethical/philosophical question. Do we owe an explanation to people we don't want to friend? I don't think we do, it is one of the icky thing that social networking sites have raised.
Lock down your profile as securely as possible, and make sure you can't be stalked or that info can't leak out.

At 03:15 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Ooooh , the embarassment!
I am also of the opinion that you are not obliged to tell people why you won't friend them (although I think that if FB did have an option that would allow people to tell in advance their friending policy, it would be a great thing).
What you could do is send the girl a message telling her that the character she so loves does not exist in real life (no matter how closely it may have been written after you), as what a reader puts (reads) in a character is a huge element of their own personnality rather than what the writer might have thought he put in there.

At 03:16 Blogger vampi said...

lys, just say that you are flattered that a "character" based on someone's imagination of a younger version of you means so much to her, but that you are not comfortable sharing your facebook page and being friends.

hurt feelings or not, you should tell her the truth. she should respect your decision.


(note as i say this, i have finally friended old socially inept coworker after she friend requested me like 0 times and i was tired of ignoring her, she has a very restricted view, like nothing. i do actually know this person and she is harmless, i just don't like her)

At 03:20 Blogger Ticia said...

Hi fiends! I'm horribly behind and imagine it will only get worse over the next month. I have inventory coming up at work and... Ick...

Anyway, loved the kitty photos and I have no advice for you Lys, sorry. Sally sounds like she knows what she's talking about though. And Nat too!

Good night/morning all!

At 03:23 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Thank you, Fiends with Perspective.

DS---that is a bit how I feel right now, that I'm actually a bit mad at Writer Boy for doing that. One reason we drifted apart over the years is his insistence that he knows me better than I know myself...*and* "knows what's right for me, and what I should do" better than I do. You can imagine how well I react to that.
So maybe I'm having more negative thoughts towards her because of that.
Plus, I think he WANTS me to be that girl he used to know...

Nat--I *do* wish FB had a place to post that on our profiles!!
Because here's the thing--both you and Doni have good points, and are giving what feels like very valid advice...

But if I *message* her, it is as if I've Friended her for 30 days. That is FB policy, anyone you send a message to has that access to view your stuff for 30 days.

I don't really like that option, either.

At 03:24 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Ticia--
I have two words for you:

Boing Boing.


:)

At 03:27 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Fods, I didn't know that about the 30 day thing.
Okay - amended advice, make the writer friend tell her, maybe tell him that he must pass a message you have written to her, or you'll have his balls for breakfast.

I really understand how you are feeling, the dear friend of mine who passsed on last year was like that with me - always knowing what was best. I dropped contact for 10 years because it annoyed me so much.

At 03:32 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Did not know about the 30 days thingy either.

At 03:36 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

I deal with him best at a distance....perhaps because it almost seems like he views us, the real people, as actually *being* the characters.....so logically we should follow the behavior he expects and occasionally dictates for us.

Shocks the heck out of him when we don't. I've smacked him down a few times for passing around (kinda spamming) unsubstantiated information about things he *KNOWS* I am far better informed than he is without checking w/me first. I'm a liberal....can handle the attacks that come from strangers for being in the military and for serving in Iraq...but it pisses me off when he perpetuates "inaccurate information" that attacks me and my fellows w/out so much as asking me "hey, could this be true?"

wow.....didn't realize I still had so much agita built up about him.
Starting to see how so much of my issue is with him, and she is/was just a symptom.

At 03:37 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

DS and Nat--I read EVERY little bit of fine print that pops up....

Not paranoid, just private (which Fiends might find hard to believe!) But here I KNOW what I'm sharing!!

At 03:41 Blogger Dragonsally said...

I thought I'd read all the fine print too - a bit shocked to see that this went past the keeper

At 03:48 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Most people only message either Friends or folks they intend to Friend, so it doesn't matter.

At 03:57 Blogger Marjorie said...

ticky box

At 04:01 Blogger Marjorie said...

aarrghh Blogger ate my first comment which said, pretty much, loved the pics, and Lysandwr, sucks that your frined did this -he defintitely derserves a good tellng-off and to have it made ckear that what he did was NOT appropriate. I don't think that you have any obligation to respond at all to the friend rquest or to gve an explanation, but if you feel more comfortable doing so then sending amessage via the original friend (maybe writing on his Wall, which she as his friend can see, so you know that he messag has not been misrepresented?)

Hugs,

At 04:25 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Thanks for the hug, Marjorie. It is odd. When I first typed out all that, I thought I was just a little weirded out by her message. Went back and forth for quite a while as to whether it should even be a subject here.

But I couldn't make the core "something's not right" feeling go away...

Discussion here among Fiends has really clarified it all for me. Don't want to write on his wall, because I think I'm going to use some not-so-nice language and it would be rude to do that to him in public. But I *do* think I am going to put the onus of explaining why I might not want to Friend her on him. After chewing him out, that is.

What adds an extra burn, as I realize this, is that he *KNOWS* my policy....when one of our oldest friends contacted me, and had a different name, I went to him for verification of who it was! He KNOWS how cautiously some of us play with this FB toy.

grr stabby...

Okay, done now. Want to get back into happy place listening to lovely live bands (two, count 'em TWO!! Real Actual Irish Bands showed up in Socorro tonight, at the Uni's Performing Arts center. wOOt!!) Beoga and Grada. Pretty darn cool, that's all I have to say.

<3 Fiends-- You are all the BEST!! "Online Collective Wisdom, For When My Own is Offline"

At 04:36 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Wisdom? But it's the weekend! You can't do wisdom over the weekend...

At 04:40 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Weekend? huh.... you know, even when I was employed, that word was not in my vocabulary.

:)

At 05:09 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

Thanks for the kitty advice! I have some great ideas. I'll let you know how things go. You guys are THE best!!!

At 08:33 Blogger Bulfinch's Aglaia said...

Hi Lys, I am so late to this conversation. But I really wanted to chime in that you are under NO obligation to ever explain to someone why you aren't "friending" them. NO obligation at all. You just click "ignore" and that's that. I have had some people send me friend requests that I either don't know or do know and cannot abide. I have "unfriended" people with no warning as well -- something they wrote or posted or whatever made me realize that I wouldn't want to talk to this person in real life so why am I letting them into my on-line life? There is NOTHING to feel guilty about (and I know guilt, honey).

Also, time for a thrown-down with the guy who thinks you are his little creation. Maybe he's the person you need to delete as a friend, since he doesn't view you as a friend but as a thing. It's worth a thought...

Off to rant at something else now...

At 08:46 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Most Welcome Erin, now onto Lys...

(IASFW)

(That's "I am so wise")

Someone is writing bad fan fiction about you and telling the morons who read it that it is YOU????

Delete.

Don't "talk" to him or slap him down, sounds like you have done it before and apparently it hasn't worked. Why bother?

Delete.

If anyone mentions him to you, or the writing say "he's a little obsessed, isn't he? Kind of "special", eh?" and then move on.

Delete

The less attention you pay to something, the less it gets.

Delete.

I feel no obligation to respond to some one I do not know, and do not want to. Been right where you are Lys.

AND anyone who serves in the military does so for their own reasons and here on this blog gets nothing but love and support, for honoring their commitment and trying to help.

We all have thoughts about our "special" gov that started this war, but we have nothing but support for the people who serve.

At 09:14 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Waiting for the Team of Cleaners to come and save me.

All the people who were up all night are missing this.

All the people who went to bed before I got home tho should be UP....

At 09:15 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I am up. Sort of.

At 09:19 Blogger Bulfinch's Aglaia said...

I am up. I am telling myself that I am doing homework, but that's kind of a debatable point...

At 09:26 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

TWO days of ELLEN got pre-empted by basketball. VERY tempted to tweet her and tell her how sad this makes me.

At 09:30 Blogger Arwenn said...

Lys - I'm a little late to the dance here too, but I did want to say that I would be horrified at the situation. I agree with what has been said before...you are not involved in this fictional online community so probably best not to contact fangirl at all. Your friend can handle that, and as you're dressing him down I think it's fair to tell him that this was a friendship-ending breach. Hopefully that might scare some sense into him, but if it doesn't then you have the option of ending the friendship. I'm certainly guilty of allowing people into my life long after I should, but I'm just too curious for my own good :)

Good luck and hopefully you can get through this thing without drama!

At 09:54 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I'd simply be above it Lys, waste of time and energy. Tell your friend Earth is calling and it should not keep going to voice mail.

The Team of Cleaners is here!!!!!!!!!

Why are they crying?

At 10:07 Blogger vampi said...

oh wow, no idea about the 30 days thing. i might have known that at onr time, but since i don't message people much i don't see that message much either.

yes you do not own her an explaination. do not feel bad about not messaging her. i only gave that advice because i kind o think she needs some perspective. clearly lys has every private facebook page, facebook is not like a blog.

personally, i would rethink this friend. he sounds like a friend in the past, not the present, as his actions are emotionally detrimental to you.

*hugs*

At 10:47 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

This Team of Cleaners does not mess around!

My clean laundry is now divided into baskets..Short pants, long pants, shirts and socks! Instead of The Pile. And my basement is not so scary.

I will take pics of the Clean House tonight, they will be here all day. I am getting fish too! For my coffee table fish tank!

At 10:53 Blogger Bulfinch's Aglaia said...

YAY for clean houses, especially clean basements!! And for sorted clothing, one of the great things that helps in the morning.

I had to do a bit of housecleaning yesterday, as my oldest called and said he was coming down with a friend for dinner and exploring (The 'Noog can be fun, especially if you like weird -- we have the International Museum of Towing and Recovery, yes, as in tow-trucks museum!). So today I am not cleaning but instead taking the youngest child to the regional spelling bee. I am amazed, as I totally totally suck at spelling. My children are a mystery to me at times. :-) So different than I would have imagined (even the one who is not talking to me at present -- didn't see that coming, sadly). And then homework. Serious amounts of homework and reading and getting ready for the last 9 weeks of the school year to begin on Monday. I am praying for strength...

At 11:43 Blogger Ticia said...

Lorraine, do your cleaners really travel around the country? (twitter comment) because I have a house here in California that is just begging for someone with cleaning product knowledge. Help!

And I've been loving all the answers you fiends have been giving Lys. I suck at those types of confrontations (read ANY confrontations) so hearing how others deal with it is wonderful to me.

((hugs)) for Vampi and have fun at the spelling bee Grace!

Okay, time to turn off my electronic device and focus on my husband. It's his birthday. Have a great day everyone.

At 12:05 Blogger gaypet said...

Great Kitty/kitty pix!

Lys, POOP! I agree with the, "ignore the woman you don't know", advice. And the smack down of Mr Controlling!

Q, Hooray for clean house!

Enough with the "!" :)

Laundry day here. I hope you all are having a beautiful Sat.

At 12:41 Blogger Na said...

Happy cleaning day, Q. Cleaners who also do laundry?!?! Wow. I mean... *eyes glaze over*

{{Grace}} You're nearly there! Home stretch for the school year! Go, Grace, Go!

Lys - everyone's givin' you such good advice. I'd totally roll with the DELETE policy. Obsessions are like teeth - ignore them long enough, and they will go away. Well, usually. What I mean is, by interacting with the obsessed person, you feed their awareness of and attachment to you. Same with disrespectful wishes-he-were-omniscient.

Fb tho'ts:

If you Ignore or Delete a contact on fb, they don't receive any message, so you're not throwing something in their face so to speak, and if someone repeatedly sends friend requests, I think you can Block them. ?

The 30-day access rule prompt on fb only comes up if you receive and click to reply to a private message from someone you've not already friended.

At 13:01 Blogger Kitty Cat said...

ahhh Lysand-- i do see that FB and all the social networking can be a dangerous game.
Quiche's advice is the very best, ignore,
and that no message goes to them if you "deny" or whatever them, is fine. People forget what they do, what they have done and if you put no energy in, none comes out.

as for clean houses, i am with Vampi, send the TOC on over to California. we got some dust here. xoxox

At 14:29 Blogger Siri said...

Also late to the party, and in fear of killing the thread again. Done several hours of OT trying to get where I need to be, and took myself to lunch at my favorite place (anyone who comes to visit me - I'll take you there). Now home, wonder whether to continue with the work I brought with me, save it for tomorrow, do laundry, nap, watch bb, but most importantly, I agree with "Delete".

Grace said it - in a place like FB you have no obligation to anyone else there. I too have ignored requests from people from my past, and some from my present! Keep your private life as private as you need it to be.

/end rant/

Marjorie - are you back with us with interwebs service?

Sally - did house pass inspection?

Lorraine - did TOC leave the proper cobwebs, while removing the improper ones?

/end interrogation/

At 14:31 Blogger Andrea said...

Kind Lys--you're right, it IS a creepy situation. And it hardly looks like you need my comments when so much very good advice has been offered you already. Lucky you! All the same, I will say I'm with Quiche & others on this one. Delete the drama. For years I spent way too much of my own energy being drawn into others' dramas. Don't waste your precious energy on this guy's fantasy of you.

Hugs!

At 14:33 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Just leaving a comment to reassure Siri on the fact that the read is still alive, if not kicking (it's a wee bit slow today, but then again it often is on a Saturday).

At 14:35 Blogger Siri said...

Thank you, Nat - I've killed so many in the past few days, I was getting a complex...spent seconds pondering how to use that power for good, not ill...

At 14:38 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

There are now 5 of us working. 5 Hours in. All this in a house that was "Clean" to start with.

The coffee table fish tank is up and running!!!!!! Alas, no fish yet. The only place that has them is walmart and they weren't swimming all that well, never a good sign, I will check back.

At 14:39 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Mind you, while the thread go idle, it gives up all time to do other things. Like spend some time in real life...

At 14:44 Blogger AletaMay said...

Certainly agree that you have no obligation to accept a friend request Lys.

I think that this fangirl is not necessarily obsessed or wacky. I think she was set up by your "friend" to expect to get to know someone she has an interest in getting to know. From the information here I would think that she is harmless but I see absolutely no reason to friend her.

I don't know if you want to maintain this old friendship or not. I know I have friend who I love dearly and will always consider friends even though they really piss me off from time to time. It does seem that if the friendship is going to go on he needs to understand very clearly what he did wrong here.

:sigh: People.

No ToC here. Or rather a ToC of one. It is the sort of day that motivates me on that front though. When the windows can be opened and world feels fresh and new I actually feel like cleaning. Its miraculous!

At 14:45 Blogger Bulfinch's Aglaia said...

Back from the spelling bee. It was fun, even if my T. didn't win. To quote him, "I got pwned by a Spanish word!" (I won't even try to write it down, as it was a word *I'd* never heard of, and that's kind of rare.) There were some really kind of easy, to me, and then a large number of what I consider super hard words from multiple languages, like Japanese and Portuguese and Russian and Spanish -- not to meniton the hard words in English. :-) Overall, I'm still very proud of him. He didn't really study, he just reads lots. And lots.

At 14:47 Blogger Siri said...

I can spell it, but how does one pronounce "pwned"?

At 14:49 Blogger AletaMay said...

Don't know if it is right but in my head I say "pawned".

At 14:57 Blogger spacedlaw said...

In chess term, it would make sense.

At 15:01 Blogger Bulfinch's Aglaia said...

My son pronounces it "pohned" like owned with a p in front of it. Which is how I said it in my mind before he found it via his on-line games. But I don't think there's a "right" way -- ah, the joys of teh internests!

At 15:02 Blogger Dan Guy said...

I have always mentally pronounced it "poned".

At 15:02 Blogger Jane said...

Lys,I agree with all advice to not give in to Friend requests on FB that you don't want.
How did the word "friend" take on such connotations that you have to allow anyone it?
Late to several conversations but love the cathead through the screen. It could have (does have?) so many different layers of meaning - like, why *not* go all the way through - good reasons not to go all the way through in many parts of life.

Whoops stop the meandering thought. I've been at work all day and need to let the mind wander, evidently.

At 15:05 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Siri: I just say "owned", but replacing the "o" w/a "p" sound. Seriously. It does work.

All of you--great and helpful thoughts and perspectives. Good point, Aleta, of fangirl being kinda set up by Writer Boy. It is actually the kinda passive aggressive thing he would do w/out even consciously admitting it.

It would be hard to completely drop the friendship.....I have known him since age 13 (well, w/some time outs!) and we have been through much, including the teen suicide of our third partner in crime (yes, at age 15 I was one of "three musketeers")

But maybe it *is* time for another timeout....

Most of all, I TOTALLY LOVED your advice, Quiche....

Especially:
"Earth is calling and it should not keep going to voice mail."

Frikkin' brill. I shall put it on a tee shirt, and have it sent to him. hehehehe.

At 15:05 Blogger Siri said...

The voice in my head always said it with an 'o', rather than an 'a'. Glad to know we are all across the board with this too. Fiends make me happy.

At 15:08 Blogger AletaMay said...

Actually "poned" like owned makes the most sense to me now that I see it. I also pronounced "squicked" as "squeaked" in my head at first, now that sounds silly in my head.

I think it is really interesting that netspeak is really a written language and it really does not matter how something is pronounced. Linguistically fascinating.

At 15:09 Blogger Jess said...

Hallo there everyone! I have been outside doing Yard Things. Now all the dead stuff has been removed from my front beds,and they are Tidy. Only the side of the house and the back to go. This will take weeks. Sigh.

I wish I had a House Team and a Yard Team. That would be several hundred degrees of Awesome.

Fish tank! What fishes will you get?

Lys - I can't help but think: first rule I learned as a writer is that you don't write stories about your friends. Or at least be very careful with how you go about it if you do. And you absolutely, positively don't go revealing someone's identity unless you have your subject's permission. Doesn't matter if it's fanfic, doesn't matter if you just write for a hobby. You take those kinds of obligations seriously. Always.

This guy doesn't sound to be taking his obligation to you very seriously. That releases you from any obligation you may have felt to tolerate him. I can't give better advice than that which everyone else has given, but I will say: you don't owe anyone anything.

At 15:10 Blogger AletaMay said...

Okay must step away from the computer!

At 16:02 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Thanks Lys, I made that one up for you!

The house is DONE!!!!!!!!! Five and a half hours! But it feels so good! And I gots more curtains!

Now I am going to shower and put on the first SKIRT of the year,

Then I will take some pics and do a new post. I feel as tho I ought to be clean like my house. I am not currently.

(Why am I telling you all this?)

At 16:12 Blogger Siri said...

Spring has spring - Quiche in a Skirt!

At 17:46 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Downloading photos. I am clean. House is clean. I am feeling very Zen with my new white curtains. Even if they are in different lengths. Very IN now I hear. Matching is OUT OUT OUT.

New post SOON, and Fiends can come out again.

At 17:53 Blogger Chantrelle said...

went to toys r us to look for a boom box for ben....came home with a wii. woopsie!

At 18:04 Blogger Jess said...

Yay pics! Vicarious clean house, here I come!

Matching smatching. Nothing in my house matches. Every room is painted a different shade of neutral because I didn't think it through. And the kitchen has pink wallpaper, which I did not do. Just haven't bothered to strip it off. And my bathroom is RED.

Isn't that interesting? No. No it isn't.

Dad is here, hammering. Must think happy thoughts of how nice it will all look like when it's done...

At 18:41 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Went looking for a new post, thinking you were all there, and you're not!

Siri, and anyone who missed it, inspection went well we think. Lovely lass -more interested in state of repair of house (nothing to do with us -drought + massive cracks everywhere). We got ticks in all the right places (I looked) and she was a lovely young lassie.

At 19:05 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

New post is up NOW! With Pics!

At 19:14 Blogger Na said...

Great news Sal!

Re: Lys' sitch - I think Kitty said what I was trying to, only much more poetically. ;)

I got a lot of work done today, pounding on a manuscript. Think I've got the hang of this one now, getting more efficient moving through it. *whew*

And spring is finally, finally beginning to get into the swing here - lots of melting going on. Makes for ugly roads and some nasty morning ice patches, but lots of thumping as stuff slides off the roof and cool icicles beginning, and it means, we hope and dance, no more truly miserable temps. I'll take it.

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