Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Royals....

Good Morning!

Slept a good sleep last night, finally, tho I am just as sure I could go back and sleep another. May take a bit to recover from the madness that was St Pats. Generally does. But the check, as they say, is in the mail.

Lear has developed the Summon She Who Brings Food Spell, which he is casting every morning around 7...It seems to involve rattleing his door, until he gets results.

Not giving into it does not seems to have any effect. I think one deals with it by turning a portion of the bath over into a mini Kitchen, so one can get up and feed King Lear the Huge, and then goes back to bed. That's what living with Bengals is about, they don't adapt to you, you adapt to them, worth repeating.

I keep going back and forth with these Fosters. I can't say they are truly Fosters. I would love it if they had their own home, and their own person, and I want Janet to list them, some days, but not enough to respond to her request for pictures of them so she can do so.

Many days, like this morning, I suspect, I am their person.

Hans is screening my porch for me, with Bengal Proof Screening, and the way the doors are set up, they could have some porch time too, without coming into contact with Venus and Mim, eventually. I don't know, thinking out loud.

Mostly it's his eyes. From the moment I saw them, so worried, so scared. He LOOKED at me, and asked for help.

Every time I go in there, he LOOKS at me to make it ok.

He eats from my hand.

I don't know if I can tell him he has to leave.

I think it would haunt me.

What do I do about these Royals?



Love and Torn,
Lorraine

54 Comments:

At 11:07 Blogger Marjorie said...

First?

At 11:10 Blogger Marjorie said...

I think if you're uncertain then maybe the way forward would be to give Janet the pics to list them - if she gets an enquiry, then how you feel about them possibly moving on will crystallise.

I suppose the other issue is whether if they go to a new 'forever home' will they get more person time than you can give them, and/or would them moving on allow Magic more space and the chance for outdoor time?

At 11:11 Blogger Phiala said...

Either the right home will appear, or you will become the right home. No way to predict, just see what happens.

I am wrestling with the dreaded manuscript of doom, now over a year late, and may actually beat it into submission.

*beat*smack*thump*

I'm sorry I'm wildly behind on actually processing comments, but my sympathy to those who need it. I feel dreadful that I'm not entirely sure who that is, and I don't know if it actually helps in that situation. But having a friend die unexpectedly last fall, I know that even random internet sympathy can help.

I absolutely must leave work early tomorrow, so as of right now I am booked solid with meetings from 9am to 3pm. Early? Hello???

At 11:18 Blogger EmilyLady said...

I wish I knew what to say about the Bengals. I can only imagine how much it hurts to give them up when it's time for them to leave. Even I hate the idea of having to see Magic go, and I'm not anywhere near your position.

So what's worse, nine hours of St. Patrick's concert of jet lag?

Just wondering; methinks the two are similar situations.

At 11:19 Blogger Marjorie said...

I have a headache. Am achiveing nothing, so as I have to catch a train at 6 a.m. tomorrow I think I shall go home early, and pack.

As I don't have internet access at home at present I won't be around much tonight.(unless any of my neighbours has spare wireless...)

Going to London for the weekend - bourse for work, followed by visiting family and goingto the Theatre (Judi Dench in Madame de Sade )

So, ifi don't see you again in the mean time, have a nice weekend, everyone!

Emily, did you tweet something about a theatre trip? What are you seeing?

At 11:22 Blogger Rubius said...

It may not help but here is my advice: toss a coin.

I am NOT recommending that you just rely on the coin toss, but that you use it as a device to determine how you actually feel about it.

Pick which side represents keeping the Royal pair and which side represents listing them on the site.

If you get the side which represents keeping them and you still have doubts you may be telling yourself that you should be listing them.

If you get the side that represents listing them and everything inside your head screams 'NO' then listen to yourself and keep them.

If you get a result that says 'list them' and you are fundamentally okay with it (although obviously it is really hard to be okay with that since they have been a part of your life for quite a while and are lovely animals), then you are okay with it.

If you get a result that says 'keep them' and you are really happy... then.. keep them.

Basically I use a coin toss when I can't determine what my head is telling me. I usually have a gut reaction to 'winning' or 'losing' the coin toss. If you tell yourself the coin toss is the 'final decision' when the coin comes down you can tell how you really feel.

At 11:23 Blogger Jess said...

Good morning! Wait, it's afternoon here. So why am I tired?

He's just got the sweetest cat face. I see what you mean. :) You need the right person. Seems that the idea of letting him go when whom he'll end up with is unknown would make it that much harder. And I suppose you'd have to consider whether keeping Lear and Mab would interfere with continuing to foster other cats.

Grace, hugs and comfort to you.

At 11:23 Blogger Rubius said...

and toss the coin more than once. Gage your reaction to multiple results. It is like 'emotion on demand'.

At 11:31 Blogger Arwenn said...

What Jess said and...if the Royals could go to another home it might enrich their lives (run of a whole house, constant human attention) and the life of whoever ends up with them. You have a special gift for socializing the neediest of the needy, and if the Royals vacate their abode it means another Bengal might be fostered. On the other hand, you've invested a lot of time and have made a connection with these guys...maybe the "good" news here is that either way this works out Bengals will have a good home.

At 11:33 Blogger LauraJ said...

I like the coin toss idea as a way of sneaking into your gut feelings.

BTW, please explain again, if I messed the first time: why can't Venus and Mim meet the Royals?

I know they can't play with Magic because he is fully declawed (though I do wonder if they could watch each other through glass, just for entertainment?)

You are beloved of Bast and lots of the rest of us for your service to them.

At 11:42 Blogger DataGoddess said...

Oh, dilemma. I like Majorie's idea of listing them and seeing what happens, they might find a great forever home (not that you're not a great forever home, of course!)

And Marjorie, I am *seriously* envious that you're going to see Dame Judi!!

At 11:55 Blogger vampi said...

I agree, bive janet the pictures, and see if the right thing comes along. it may be that you are the right thing. You are the crazy bengal cat lady, but we loves you anyway! you are a good influence on these animals and the world, and that is what is important, where they live will sort itself out.

Keep being Quiche the bengal lady and all will be right with the world.

you have almost convinced me i want a cat, and i've never even owned a cat.

At 11:56 Blogger Wicked said...

Ok, I am totally jealous of you seeing Dame Judi also.
That said, I like the idea of listing them and letting fate intervene. If you don't like the people who are interested, then things shall proceed as they have until the right family comes along.
Best of luck!

At 11:56 Blogger vampi said...

for crikeies, i forgot to check the darn box.

love ya mean it :)

At 12:02 Blogger EmilyLady said...

Marjorie, I'm seeing "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang."

At 12:08 Blogger Jess said...

Vampi, get a cat. Cats are awesome, and mostly self-cleaning.

Not to change the subject, and certainly not to nag, but I want to mention it while I'm thinking of it: we haven't talked Night Garden in a while. Are we still calling that an open-ended project? It just occurred to me that it might be helpful for new and/or interested persons to include some information on the page about how and when to send stuff in, that kind of thing.

Also (and I guess this is a nag, actually), those pictures that got sent in never went up along with the poems-- Gayle's sketch, Nathalie's haiga, Vampi's and Marjorie's photographs. I'm not sure anyone else has seen them yet. I can resend them to Dr. Wicked if he needs them (let me know, Jeff).

At 12:12 Blogger EmilyLady said...

Jess, I had wondered what had happened to the Night Garden project!

At 12:32 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

The fact that you're doubting that you should give them to someone else tells me that you have your answer. As much as they may have bonded with you, it sounds like you have bonded with them.

Kitty love is a powerful thing.

At 12:35 Blogger Lyndyn said...

I did golden retriever foster for years. Some dogs I knew weren't mine - a couple I knew were. The tricky ones were the ones that had a complicated history - abused, medical issues, what have you. My protective nature told me to keep them that only I could understand and help them. My last foster was a dog that had been abused as a puppy.

When I got him, he was afraid to be in the house, was afraid of men, was afraid of other dogs, was afraid, afraid, afraid. I had him almost two years and he came a long, long way when he was with me.

At the time, I was living with someone who didn't understand dogs and particularly didn't understand this dog. I can't tell you how much conflict this caused.

In the end, I found an amazing home for him. A home with THREE big (gentle) men and one sweet mom. I didn't expect the placement to work. Every day, I expected to get him back. In truth, I just wanted to get credit for TRYING to find him a home. :) And this was the only family that I hadn't been able to scare off, to tell the truth. I didn't sugar coat anything for them. I told them the truth. and they STILL wanted to try.

Don't get me wrong - I loved the family and thought that if anyone could make it work, it would be these people. I knew that they would TRY. In my heart, though, I knew that my quiet hardly ever any visitors house with me who understood him so much that I knew what he was thinking was the best place for him.

But...here's the weird thing...he actually IMPROVED with this busy, kind family. It's like...I took him as far as I could and he stalled. It wasn't until he "graduated" to a new place with new people and new experiences that he really blossomed. I have never been so shocked. :)

It was a bit of a blow to my ego for a second, to be honest. I had been so CERTAIN that I knew what he needed. And..he had needed what I provided. Quiet, safety, a place to heal - training wheels as it were...but...he couldn't progess with that. He needed a situation - still safe and loving - that would expose him to a bit more, would ask a bit more of him.

Had I kept him, he would have been happy. He loved me so much that he would actually put his body between me and someone that he thought might hurt me (in his mind btw kissing and hurting were a little muddled! ;D ) But...he would have stayed stalled. He would never really have come into his own. I would have insulated him from the world too much for that.

How does this apply to your Royals - beats me! Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Something to consider though. In the end, you just do your best - make the best decisions that you can with the info that you have and be open to opportunities and surprises.

Wishing you fiendishly good luck, as always! :)

At 12:46 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

You ought to hear Boss's words on the subject. OK, if we can find the them right home, they will go to it. Then I can help more Bengals, which I can't do now.

Where is their home?

I never felt like the Jungle Loves were mine, and they DID go to a wonderful home, which I never thought would be out there.

It will take a Specail place tho for the Royals.

To answer a couple queries, they cant' be with Venus and Mim, as it is very hard to introduce ONE more cat to another couple, let alone two and Lear is an EG, and many times SBT's will pick on the EG's, they don't like them. I would have pee everywhere, I am sure of it.

And Magic is NOT going anywhere. I am it for him. Or as it as it will ever be. There is no possibility of him finding another home. I may screen his porch tho too, and he could go out the window.

At 12:48 Blogger AletaMay said...

As I read this I am thinking of the Jungle Loves and how wonderful it turned out for them when they moved on.

What I am hearing others say about the idea that they could truly have a place of there own resonates for me. Also knowing that they only go IF the right placement comes along.

I think this must be the hardest thing about fostering -- dogs, cats, children -- giving yourself so completely but temporarily.

At 13:06 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

Quiche, I honestly don't know how you manage the emotions that come with fostering. My heart couldn't take it.

I'm so glad that there are loving fosters like you out there in the world. If not for the kindness of fosters, I would never have been able to adopt my little dachshund Bubba who was dumped over a chain link fence and near death when the Lone Pine Animal shelter found him.

So, maybe I'm changing my mind. Maybe it's time for the kitties to find a new home so that you can help others who also need you.

At 13:10 Blogger Dan Guy said...

Screening your porch is going to be awesome! I really want a wide, screened-in porch one day.

At 13:12 Blogger Lyndyn said...

I cried and felt empty after every golden that I placed and the only thing that consoled me was knowing that I had made the best match for them - that - and getting another foster! :)

It is a tricky thing - fostering. I honestly don't know how people that foster children do it.

At 14:31 Blogger Bulfinch's Aglaia said...

I don't know what to say, Q. Yes, it seems that if you move these cats to a good home then you could help others. But it also seems that good homes for Bengals are hard to find. I think submitting photos is a good idea: your immediate gut reaction to the prospective home and the possibility of them leaving might clarify the situation. But truly, I cannot clearly imagine how you feel, having never fostered a pet. I have great confidence you will make the best decision, and you have my complete support.

And, thanks, everyone, for your kind words. *Hugs* to all who know the feeling.

At 15:28 Blogger Kitty Cat said...

i think thems are your cats, sister.

BENGAL PROOF SCREENS?
let me send you a photo of what Kylie has done to one of our screens, she made a head size hole in it,
and sits with her head out the window. hilarious kid. she hasn't quite put together that she can finish off the job...

and Batman's morning food alarm is to hang on the curtains, all 14 pounds of him, until i jump up as he will pull the rod right out of the wall.
moral of the story: cats are our real Boss.

At 15:33 Blogger Ticia said...

Much as I hate to say it, my gut agrees with boss.

You are in a very unique position to help Bengals in a way that no other foster mother can.

With your contacts and Boss mentioning the Benagls periodically, you give the problem a bunch of press as well as a loving heart and open arms.

::sigh:: I know it's tough to let people and animals move through your life and the decision is yours not mine...

((hugs)) and love, patience and strength to those who need it.

At 16:01 Blogger Lyndyn said...

I wish my porch was screened! I wonder how hard that would be to do...hmmm...I shall ponder this.

At 16:15 Blogger bengalgirl said...

Really, I've only nagged about pictures a few time, lol. I do really understand your feelings. I've fostered several hundred bengals and only 3 times did I have tears and regrets and 2 of those were EG cats, one not even a bengal. They are different, they somehow touch a different part of your heart. Q also knows Lears past and how it is harder each time he is moved. It will be difficult to find the RIGHT home for them as they bring quite a bit of baggage with them. You have time to think and to toss coins.

At 16:31 Blogger Andrea said...

Tough decisions in any direction. Just sending love & support!

At 16:46 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Quiche, Janet and Lyndyn you are all amazing with the fostering you do and have done.
I'd find it hard to let the Royals go Q,they are so beautiful. That's me though.

At 19:06 Blogger Siri said...

Have to read the comments, but came here from twitter. First and foremost I must say Kittywigs are wrong. Sick and Wrong. Thanks for that eyeworm, Jess.....

At 19:07 Blogger Siri said...

Marjorie - I look forward to your blog after seeing Dame Judi. I am envy!

At 19:13 Blogger Siri said...

I am also a fan of the coin toss to clarify the moment. I know in an instant if the coin lands on the "wrong" choice.

There. I'm done reading the comments now. Someone else talk.

But first - Sally, how'd the inspection go?

At 19:14 Blogger Siri said...

All by myself....

don' wanna be

All by myself, anymore....

At 19:18 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Inspection is this afternoon Siri.

Right now we have a man here cleaning the heating ducts!

At 19:21 Blogger Siri said...

Well, that's a fun way to spend time. But, now I can send good luck vibes (/me sending vibes) and they'll get there in time.

At 19:22 Blogger Dragonsally said...

.....and right after he has finished a flurry of final cleaning will occur

At 20:35 Blogger Siri said...

Well, missed my chance to chat with fiends. Of to sleep, perchance to dream. Last night, I dreamt of Dread Val, and I said I missed her writing here, and she plucked an errant hair out of my eyebrow.

Guess she showed me.

Night, Fiendom.

At 21:04 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Home!!!!!!

This is SO going to be an early night Kitty is sending me some pics to post, but it may have to happen tomorrow morning...

Did a lot of thinking about Lear today, and if I can find his person, I will. There has to be someone who will love him as much as I do, and she will take care of him, and she will be all his.

Keeping him would be selfish. And if I keep him, I can't save any more. And I an uniquely suited to re-habbing the poor lost Bengals who have no other options.

My heart will know that he is happy, and that will be enough.

Have to get up EARLY tomorrow, so any chatting needs to be SOON, disappearing Fiends!

At 21:13 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Hmm..Kitty sent the pics. May attempt new post.

At 21:22 Blogger Ticia said...

Goodnight fair fiends. I need to recharge my batteries with sleep as well.

Spring is here and it has awakened a hunger to go out and do things. I need energy for this, so I will rest.

May tonights sleep lighten your mental load and put a bounce in your step tomorrow.

At 21:44 Blogger AletaMay said...

Hung out with Laser Lady tonight. We spent part of the night looking at Bengal photos here. She still really wants to do a video with your beauties. Some day we'll work it out!

Love the coin toss idea. I am going to use that in the future.

At 21:53 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Ywo in one day??

Yup.

New post is up.

And yes, Aleta, Bengal Vid!!!!

At 21:56 Blogger EmilyLady said...

I have just arrived home from the Providence Performing Arts Center (aka PPAC) from a really marvelous splendid incredibly amazing production of "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." I have never been to a play before, and I am glad this was my first one.

Anyway. Good-night, Fiends.

At 01:37 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Cuddle and love them forever?
It IS a lot of cats.

But then again, someone might come along and fall in love with them and them with that person just the way this happened with Kali-minou and Kitty.

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