Soggy Horses and Deep Thoughts...
I didn't get many riding pictures the past two days, too busy conquering my fears, but here is a lovely picture of my soggy horse without his head for you. This is Anamontana, the half quarter horse, half arab. Sunday's ride didn't exactly go quite as well, riding her for the first time in a while. It's nerves that get me, but I went out again early this morning, after having a long conversation with my kettle which went something like "Boil Dammit!" , and made some progress. And had fun doing it.
Much better. No nerves and it felt great, like I knew what I was doing. I am still shy of cantering while there are other horses in the ring, and the horses that were there today were near the best in the stable, which, makes for fine people to ride with, and I am not at all shy about admitting to being not as good as someone, but still, difficult. And, to be honest, still have that fear in riding.
So, shy. And fear. There's two things that need to be dealt with. And FIT.
Bear with me. I may come to a point here. Or not. Hard to say, still thinking this one thru.
I heard a story this morning that kind of stayed with me, a really simple one, but it made a helpful point about getting where you want to be. It said, basically: If you are not on the right road you can drive as long as you want to, but you are not going to get there.
Simple, eh? Sort of flicked on this GPS in my head and made me realize some things that I want, and that I am not going to get them just by wanting them. I need to go there.
To be completely profound, if you are still with me here, shit happens. Fit doesn't happen. Learning French doesn't happen. Getting over fear doesn't happen. Not being shy doesn't happen. Playing bagpipes doesn't happen. (OK, so I'm not sure that ever WILL happen) Writing doesn't happen. Riding well doesn't happen. Petting bees doesn't happen.
May have come to my point. Still not sure. But now I know what I need to do.
There, enough with the deep thoughts. This week looks good, it may be spring, I will ride every day, I will go home and eat vegetable things instead of pizza, and lie on my floor with my muscles screaming and try and stay awake until ten, and write something good. And this weekend, there are gigs, one place where where I am not at all afraid, on stage being the safest place in the world. Go figure.
If you are thinking of coming down, come Saturday. I have a feeling it is going to ROCK.
And Nathilie, vous voulez à Skype mercredi ou jeudi? Je veux parler Francais bein! Vous m'aiderez encore?
Amour et étude, my Fiends,