Friday, July 3, 2009

Quick Little Post....

Home for a few minutes as someone is coming to look at the kittens! Fingers crossed, they may have a home!

Also, in a further update, I do not have poison ivy on my BUTT, but rather, when Boss looked AT THE BACK OF THE TOP OF MY THIGH, he said he thought they were Spider Bites. This does not comfort me. I mean, how did I MISS that???? You'd think one would notice.

I have a gig tonight, so no new post will be happening, but Nathilie sent me this, she got it from our lurking friend Martha from Estonia, and it made me laugh so hard, I thought it might do for a post.

What's the Only thing funnier than the Nigerian Businessman/Royal Family....

Sent: Friday, 3 July, 2009 15:45:11
Subject: Please help!

I am Fluffy ... A Kitten's Guide to Nigerian Tuna Spam
Fluffy
Lagos Cat Pound,
Nigeria

Dear Good Christian Friend,

I am Fluffy, the favourite kitten of the late president of Nigeria. As you know my late master was very very rich man and he left me all his tuna. But, as kitten, I not allowed to have fridge of my own.

My good friend, there are many many fishes and without more fridges tuna go bad. I eat as many as I can but I small kitten and much sick. So I write you, my very good friend, as your name well known in Nigeria as godly person with many fridges.

If you help store my tuna I give you 20% (TWENTY AMERICAN PER CENTS) of each fish - including heads.

Please be writing back soon. Weather hot and there are many bad cats looking with the eyes at my fishes.

Your good friend,

Fluffy

*** nicked this from my LJ friend Chris Dolley's journal.



Love and Haste,
Lorraine

88 Comments:

At 13:02 Blogger vampi said...

lol 20 american per cents...


ick on spider bites.

At 13:03 Blogger Chantrelle said...

LOVE IT!! well, the nigerian kitty, not the spider bites :(

I thought the Orkin man took care of that problem!

At 13:13 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I thouhgt you had got all spiders deadified?

At 13:13 Blogger spacedlaw said...

The return of the zombie spiders?

At 13:15 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I passed the letter on to my Facebook friends.

As someone who has allergic rashes 90 percent of the time, I hope you get better soon.

At 13:18 Blogger vampi said...

i am so not prepared to deal with shambling zombee spiders.

At 13:29 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I thought the BIGASS Spiders were Deadified too.

Boy Kitten has a Home!!!!!! Nice family, he will be happy there, he leaves on Monday!

At 13:30 Blogger Ticia said...

Okay, the multiple spider bites are kinda freaking me out. ::shudder::

The Nigerian Kitty, however, is amusing me no end.

::fingers crossed:: for kitten adoption.

Chantrelle - Have fun.

Vampi - shambling zombee spiders must die. :-D

At 13:31 Blogger EmilyLady said...

Yuuuurrrrk, spider bites....

At 13:40 Blogger Phiala said...

Article done, off to editor.

Next project: *looks at list*. Um. How many of these do you think I can do simultaneously?

At 13:49 Blogger DataGoddess said...

SPIDER BITES?! EEEEEEEEEE!!!! Especially if they're zombie spiders!

How sure was Boss about them being spider bites? If he writes a zombie spider book now you should get royalties ;-)

At 14:00 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Yeah for boy kitty finding a home! (let's hope this is a kitty etiquette trained household)

At 14:11 Blogger Chantrelle said...

For those not on twitter, i finally put my frittata recipe up. Hope you like it!

This is completely unrelated to any talk of spider bites. I don't think frittata helps at all with itching or rashes, sorry!

At 14:15 Blogger Aline Martins said...

Good news about the Boy Kitten \o/

Did I miss something, or bees never arrived?

Spider Bite does not sound good... hope you get better soon....

At 14:20 Blogger Beez said...

Kitty is funny, Spider Butt not so much.

At 15:28 Blogger Jess said...

A Godly Person with Many Fridges!! \o/

There's a character in the book I'm currently reading, a talking bird, who keeps asking for Fish Heads. I'm chuckling for the wrong reasons! :)

Mr. Jess says hello, and that it's time to buy wine. I can only obey.

At 15:53 Blogger bengalgirl said...

When I was but a child I sat in the grass and got bit by a spider. Very embarrasing as a pre-teen to go to Dr. to confirm spider bites on one's bum. Loved the Nigerian Fluffy post, definitely not our Fluffy though. Good for boy kitten, now poor lonely little girl kitten to go.

At 16:03 Blogger One Sock Short said...

I just woke up. This is why I set my alarm during vacation. Also why I consume much coffee. My natural state appears to be a coma.

Yay on kitty adoptions, finished articles, and, and (still half asleep)

Not-yay on spider bites, flooded shops, and...

Okay, time to make coffee.

At 16:57 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Squee! My nearest and dearest friend will be coming up on Sunday to spend the week here. I won't get to see her a whole lot, since she's coming for a class and I'll be busy with ALA starting late next week. But we'll get to chitchat some at least.

Starting to feel a little more awake.

At 17:12 Blogger martha said...

Since I seem to have been outed; vinegar is good for spider bites.

At 17:24 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Nathilie outed you to me. I outed you to the world! Mmmwaahahah!

Hey, It was funny...

She says you are doing great at your French Lessons. Far better than I. Not that we sat around and talked about you. Much anyway.

At 17:25 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Slept 2 hours with a WICKED headache, sore neck...Ah, the joy of Spider Bites. BIGASS Spiderbites.

At 17:35 Blogger Jess said...

Oh, not good. All that from spider bites? Thank crap the Orkin Man said you don't have any brown recluses running around.

NOt that brown recluses bite on the bum. They like to burrow under porches and things, and might bite you if you stick your hand in their burrows. But I don't think they run around at night bum-biting. I think.

Ew ew ew ew ew!

HUrrah for boykitty adoption! Is it just girljkitty now, or is Agent Orange still there?

At 17:36 Blogger Jess said...

Ahh, tick thing

At 18:01 Blogger Precision Grace said...

eww for spider bites. and for flooded shops (So bad!)

I get a huge histamine overreaction from any bites. you should have seen my arm when we were up in Yosemite. It was like something from Lord of the Rings. Or worse. I used a calendula/comfrey/somethingelse mix cream that I got in a whole foods shop. It all calmed down in two days.

In other news, and for those not following me on twitter (and because I don't want you too miss out); pics of my crazy cat, Tonks, looking for, what one Twittfriend sugested, floo powder to travel with Harry Potter style.
(hope you get as many giggles out if it as I have-to be viewed in order)

Pic 1

Pic 2

Pic 3

Pic 4

Pic 5

At 18:01 Blogger AletaMay said...

Spider bites. Not fun. Hope your butt and the headache feel better.

Fluffy sounds like an honest cat. I think we should help.

As Tommy B said on Twitter maybe getting rid of the bugs that fed the spiders made you suddenly look like food?

OSS -- some days are like that. Sleep is a good thing.

At 18:08 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Wow, that's one bendy cat in #4! Very cute. Also, I covet the fireplace.

At 18:12 Blogger Beez said...

I covet the fireplace too- massive looking walls, so I probably covet the surrounding building too.

Tonks is lovely. What a beautiful pattern on his coat.

Aleta, I'm with Vampi on how to keep on moving...more coffee!

At 18:20 Blogger Precision Grace said...

don't covet too much. the fireplace is large, but the rest of the room is tiny.
Tonks is very grateful for the compliments.

At 18:26 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Send my compliments to Tonk as well.

I suggest aloe vera for spider bites..
Did Boss see little fang marks or just recognize rash? ::shudders::

Biggass spideys, leave Quiche alone.

At 19:25 Blogger vampi said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 19:27 Blogger vampi said...

link fail
scuba cat

i can't even come up with something witty to go with the link, i'm laughing too hard.

At 19:34 Blogger One Sock Short said...

There. The fridge is fit for a Nigerian kitten. Phoebe supervised and can vouch for it.

Now to write a grocery list so I can fill it back up.

At 21:23 Blogger Marjorie said...

drive by commenting... Love the Phishing (Fishing?) Kitty Spam.

At 21:40 Blogger Dan Guy said...

Nigerian Phishing. LOL

At 21:48 Blogger Jess said...

Scuba cat! Look at his little legs go. :D

paddlepaddlepaddlepaddle

At 23:05 Blogger Fluffy said...

Yet another day of Fiendish mayhem! Spider bites - yuck. I had one on my arm and it swelled and made me hie me hence to the emergency room. All was well, though. Benadryl works for me. I hope yours subside quickly and NEVER happen again!

Can I have Fluffy's email address? I want to go out and buy a new freezer so I can get my 20 american per cents!

And Phiala - sexxxxxy!

The family decided to see Public Enemy today and I didn't want to, so I had to amuse myself for two and a half hours. Oh, dear. Unsupervised and with credit cards in a twee tourist town. I decided to get my nails done (cause I borked one on Monday - eeeee! Nooo!) and get a haircut, which I didn't want to do before FiendomCome in case I got a Bad One. Who wants a bad haircut immortalized all over the Interwebs ("... and she calls herself "Fluffy!" LOL!")

I definitely got the better deal, because the hairdresser gave me a fabulous head and neck massage. And the movie - not so grate akcherly. Revelle just liked it because of Johnny Depp. Well, she has a point.

Weather here has been crazy - rain, hail, sun, rain... repeat as necessary. It's nice, though, even if a bit wet. And the wildflowers are gorgeous.

Nice bookshop/cafe in Edwards - even if heavy on ChickLit and only 2 shelves (!!!) of scifi. NO Terry Pratchett at all! Is that legal? I got a nice Donna Leon mystery, though, so I didn't have to kill anyone.

Louisa - so sorry to hear about that mess. Hope it isn't as bad as it sounds?

And hurray for Boy Kitten finding a home. I'm sending out fiendishly good vibes for Adorable Girl to find a wonderful home very soon.

My fingernails match my purse. Mwahaha.

At 23:08 Blogger Fluffy said...

And I keep having "Scuba Cat, Scuba Cat, does whatever a scuba cat does..." going through my head.

At 23:15 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Good whatever, fiends! Just woke up and thought Lorraine might be coming back from her gig any time soon...
Magic is the Caturday cat over at my picture blog and Microbetta wants to know whio is this handsome fellow.
Quite the ladykiller, he is...

At 00:57 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I am just home now, and tired, but it was a fun show.

Magic is a ladykiller indeed, tho if you had heard the language he just used telling me off for dinner being so late, just now....Such thoughts from a kitty!

I think I am sleep commenting,

At 01:04 Blogger Ticia said...

Good night, Quiche!!

At 01:30 Blogger Beez said...

May Fod send you arachnid-free sleep.

At 04:35 Blogger Lexocat said...

Popping in to box the ticks and to wish the US Fiends a Happy 4th of July.

Popping back out now.

At 08:39 Blogger Phiala said...

Morning Fiends!

I've been puttering around and drinking coffee, and am now trying unsuccessfully to settle into a project. Many things I want and need to do, but none seem appealing.

At 08:54 Blogger DataGoddess said...

G'morning!

We've already made it to the farmers' market, but not sure what else we will be doing today, my knee was popping with every step and my back was screaming by the time we were finished.

Might end up spending the day watching the Deadliest Catch marathon. And playing online, of course.

Q, how's the bites?

At 10:35 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Nothing bit me in the night! The old bites don't seem to be turning into anything bad, just itchy, and the bite stuff takes care of that. Cool.

Today is all about catching up on work. You see, it's a Holiday here, an a Saturday in Europe, and a Sunday elsewhere, so no one is in their offices. I can get some stuff DONE.

Then I wander off in search of Coon Rapids and play with Big Johnny and Bedlam.

Listening to Thea and having that wonderful first cup of tea.

At 10:39 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Am listening to Thea too (just picked up one of her song to illustrate tomorrow's haiku)!

At 10:51 Blogger dabbler said...

Happy 4th to the USians...
Gorgeous day here. have been to T'ai Chi, to the farmer's market (mmm, local portobellos) and am now gratefully sitting down.

And researching gluten free shortbread recipes for a party this evening..

Louisa, I forgot to offer sympathy for your flood. Books and water...Aieee. Hope it cleans up easily and nothing too precious was ruined.

A productive and peaceful day to you all!

At 10:59 Blogger Jess said...

Excellent that the bites are better, and non-lethal. This am good news.

Hurrah, Happy Traitor Day! The Manwife would like to say. He'd log in but he's too busy sitting in the chair behind me.

Have a Fourthy link.

Muppets perform "The Stars and Stripes Forever"

At 11:21 Blogger martha said...

The Muppets rock! Happy 4th to all of yer!

At 11:25 Blogger Beez said...

BWAHA! Jess, that should be required viewing for Independence Day.

At 11:36 Blogger Jess said...

I sure think so! They also should be showing it in schools.

(Sent you an email, Q-- just asking some hotel advice, no real rush.)

At 11:37 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Brilliant muppets!

At 11:40 Blogger Marjorie said...

Happy Traitor Day indeed! (BTW - just got a totally blank look when I ointed out that we don't celebrate the 4th that much at home on account of the fact that we lost - HistoryFAIL...

At 11:45 Blogger vampi said...

lol that doesn't surprise me Marjorie. It's quite sad really.

I'm trying to decide if it' worth it to go see some fireworks. i love fireworks, but i hate the traffic and people.

honestly, i felt very comfortable around ya'll, usually i'm much more the wall flower and large groups of people drives me batty. this is one of the reason malls make my skin crawl.

but, fireworks are illegal here due to the brush fires, so there are soem huge public displays around town i hear are nice.

At 11:46 Blogger Siri said...

Marjorie - What hijinks have you been getting up to since you became fiendless?

At 11:46 Blogger Siri said...

And, is EmilyLady ever going to post about her dinner with Susan?

At 11:48 Blogger Marjorie said...

Hijinks? Moi??

I have been doing culteral things, such as visiting museums and art galleries and thelike (And hanging out with Gayle & M, and Hope-the-lucky-kitty.


Going back to Gayle's this evening where I belive there will be a solemn and sobe wake to mourn the loss of out North American Colonies. ...

At 11:48 Blogger Marjorie said...

I meant to ask, Siri, did you have a striaghtforward trip back home?

At 12:11 Blogger Fiend-in-law said...

We didn't lose all the colonies over here. Canada still has the Queen and everything.

(Note - border control takes a really dim view of saying "I'm keeping an eye on the colonies" as a reason for visiting the US.)

Jess has reminded me to post the link to the UK bookshop that does free world-wide delivery. It's The Book Depository.

At 12:14 Blogger Marjorie said...

true, Fiend-in-Law, but were they ever North American Colonies, or were they always Canadian Colonies?

I should probably leave the compute and go outside , shouldn't I?

At 12:22 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Yes, outside is the place to be on the 4th, whichever holiday you're observing ;-)

I'm in a little park with Mom and some spinning. The latter is going so much better after getting some pointers from Phiala.

At 12:51 Blogger Beez said...

Marjorie, what is this "outside" you speak of?

...kidding. Sort of.

At 12:59 Blogger Siri said...

It was a fine trip home, albeit very windy - I was weary. Back immediately to work, which was relentless due to the horrid projects.

Now that I don't have fiendom come to look forward to, work is even more wearying. Ah well. I'll try to start living in the moment, finding the good.

At 16:35 Blogger Marjorie said...

'Outside' is the place where they keep all the rain....

Just came back to the hotel to change into some dry clothes.

At 18:54 Blogger Jess said...

Oh dear.

At 19:09 Blogger AletaMay said...

Happy Independent Traitor Day!

Just starting last writing session of the day. Lots of the ideas I got in Stillwater are working in to the story perfectly!

Louisa! So Sorry. Hope it is cleaning up well.

Marjorie! Sunny now! I hope we can have lunch or coffee or something before you leave.

Q! Yay for no new bites! I trust you are now rocking in Coon Rapids!

Everyone! Bye for now -- off to pollute the lovely St. Croix River -- well fictionally pollute a fictionalized St. Croix River.

At 19:11 Blogger AletaMay said...

Oh, and I keep meaning to say:

"Little Post Little Post
One I'm scared of the most!"

At 20:13 Blogger bengalgirl said...

Just had to post this link for those who like skulls.
http://detroit.craigslist.org/fuo/1253574290.html
Hope it works.

At 20:36 Blogger Fluffy said...

Great skulls! Can't think of anything to say - just ate dessert. Need to rest.

At 21:31 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

GREAT Skulls!

Hey, I'm home now. One hour into the drive, got a call the gig had been cancelled. Figures. I wondered why the owner was having a band 9-1. Everyone goes to fireworks around 9, stays till 11, spends an hour getting out of where ever, seemed silly.

But canceling an hour before the gig, and doing it when one of the band shows up, even tho the gig is on your website?

Kill fee. Not cool.

At 21:40 Blogger Dragonsally said...

that's just plain rude Lorraine.

At 21:42 Blogger Fluffy said...

Planning. "Wait, July 4 is The Fourth of July? Who knew?"

So - "kill fee" - does that mean you get paid something or nothing?

On the bright side, I bet the kitties are happy.

At 21:44 Blogger Jess said...

I hope your kill fee is punitive.

Many fireworks noises outside tonight. Cats are freaked. Edie's slinking around on her belly, Ally's hunkering under the bed. There will be no Bedtime Routine tonight. I'm letting them do their cat thing.

At 21:51 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Bengals DO NOT like fireworks. At All. And it sounds like a war zone here.

I seriously hope I am getting paid tonight. You can't cancel an hour before the show, you owe the band at least half fee for showing up, which one of us already had, with the other two nearly there.

At 21:59 Blogger Jess said...

That's rotten. If you don't get paid, I imagine the word will go out pretty quick that it's an unreliable venue.

At 22:00 Blogger Fluffy said...

Poor guys. I guess the fireworks at our house are generally far enough away to not freak out our cats.

Still waiting for them here. 9 pm and all is quiet...

At 22:37 Blogger Beez said...

Finale just finished, still lots of firecrackers being lit, which = Velcro Dog.

MaxCat could care less.

This means it's time to go retrieve spawn from CONvergence.

The club owner is now on The List.

THE List.

At 22:39 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Tysie isn't fazed by fireworks either, but our dogs want to go and tell them off. More pissed off at the noise than anything.

At 22:52 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

New post up. Not a happy one exactly, but I am wrestling with a knotty dilemma...And need advice.

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