Taking Back YOUR Holidays....
Hello and Happy Day to everyone, no matter where in the world you might be!
A lot of things have been going around in my head lately with the Holidays coming up, and even tho I am barely into my first cup of tea, I wanted to try and get them down.
Maddy and I are spending the day in a Movie Marathon and making pizza by and by, from scratch of course, and eating some really strange cupcakes. (I am home with the Bengals for an hour, I don't have them here, I can't shoot them. Later. I will Twitpic them and Speedy Jess can link them for you)
Yup. I can hear the shrieks. "No, you can't have PIZZA!" "Don't you have anywhere to BE?" "You could come here"
Yes, we DO have somewhere to be, and we are having exactly the really great meal that we want to.
We've been invited to dozens of places. And yes, Maddy had the option of traveling with either of her parents. She didn't want to travel, and we didn't want to go anywhere.
Isn't that kind of what the Holidays should be about? What you WANT to do?
I hear a lot of "We have to..." in connection with the Holidays. We have to go here, do this, buy this, eat this....Because, what? You HAVE to? Who decides this? And what is UP with this needing to BE somewhere for the Holiday because if you are not you will be depressed? huh?
A day where I don't HAVE to do anything, a day at home, watching whatever, eating whatever, with no one wanting anything from me is NOT something I tend to get real sad about. Trust me.
We've been bombarded with Xmas music since October. Wallmart takes DOWN the Halloween things a few days before Halloween and put up the Xmas things. People have gone nuts getting up at 5:00am for Black Friday sales.
People, those sales are available all year round. It's a media event. Think about it, the media also tells us that a size 6 women is a plus sized model.
You HAVE to decorate your house a certain way, you HAVE to buy for people, you HAVE to send cards.
Do you ever hear yourself saying "I get so stressed and worn out, there is so much I HAVE to do" "I get really depressed at the Holidays" or "I feel so guilty if I don't.."
Get over it. No one can make you feel anything, you are the one taking that on.
If you find yourself saying this season "I/we don't want to go...., but we have to" Stop one second. If you don't want to, don't. Take back the YOU. What DO you want to do? Is your family going to be, whatever, if you don't do something? Well, get this, they need to take you as you. If you don't want to, don't.
It's like what I always found works with kids. You don't say NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT,(wear that, have that) Offer them a positive alternative.
It's not about being selfish. The opposite in fact. Don't overload the lifeboat, if you do, everybody drowns.
Hate going into debt? Well, everything is WAY on sale in January. Don't buy something for someone just because you HAVE to. Ask them what would be cool. Going out to eat the next month together? Do they have a cause they support you could give a little something to (Fivers add UP people) Can you write them an e-mail saying, "I really hate all the crap that goes on this time of year, but wanted you to know how cool you are" (I'd phrase that better tho)
Get on the travel sites e-mail lists. You can put in the city of your choice and they will send you an e-mail telling you when the fare drops to what you want to spend, then grab it and tell your family you are coming for the weekend. Same with hotels. Make it something FUN, not an ordeal. Meet somewhere you all want to be.
Today isn't the day to be thankful for what you have. You should be waking up EVERY day thinking about that. Xmas is not the day you show the people you love how much you care abut them. You should be doing that EVERY day. All the time. And not by buying them something they don't need.
Have the Holiday when you want it. You don't HAVE to have it on a specific day. Make it work for you, and for Fod's sake do what you WANT to do. What makes you happy.
If you are feeling guilty about that, think real hard, you have some work to do.
Learn from your cats. Or your dog. Or kids. They wake up every day ready for wonderful things.
They do what they want to.
No more Have to this year.
Love and Holidays,