Saturday, December 19, 2009

Guess What I Got For Xmas?



This would be my Christmas present from my Dad's wife, and as she signs it, apparently, from him too. No, not kidding. Yes, it does seem to be a FLOWERED mini-dustpan, calculator, tape measure and dish brush. (hasn't everyone always wanted a matching set?)

No, she is not senile. No, we are not estranged. And yes, they are quite well off as far as money goes.

So WHY would she (or anyone for that matter) send someone a FLOWERED mini dustpan, calculator, tape measure and dish brush???? Did I add, with the price stickers on? Did I add that she sent my two sisters exactly the same gift? Did I add that this was my entire gift?

I need to know, but am kind of afraid to ask.



Now, I don't expect a gift from them, I rarely see them and I sure don't care what someone spends on me, or even if they do. But this is weird.

Is it meant to be hurtful? Is it completely clueless, is this a women who is losing it? How do you see these, in presumably Walmart or the dollar store, and think "Ah-ha! No more shopping! I have found the perfect gift for my husband and I to give his daughters!"



She's big on thank you notes. Exactly how does this one GO?

Dear Dad's Wife,

Thank you SO much for the FLOWERED mini-dustpan, calculator, tape measure and dish brush! Exactly what I wanted! I really needed a mini dustpan for those little spills that are just too small for my regular one, or a little handy sweeping about, and the fact that the dish brush matches is just too perfect!

The calculator was an excellent call! I am SO tired of using my phone or computer, and had really wanted one, but never thought I could own a real one of my own, and my All In One complete tool set one had only the one tape measure, good to have another. I tend to have lots of measuring needs.

It was so good of you to take the time to pick out just the right thing and send it, and good thing you both insured it AND got delivery confirmation! Would have hated to miss it!

Ta-ta.....



I need to purge this from my soul. I need this out of me. I need to UNDERSTAND. I need my real true Spirit back! In a word: I need ART. (OK, three words)

Print the picture or all pictures out, make me a collage, draw things on them, take a picture of my pictures with something awful of yours, or one of your dog or cat eating it. (or whatever) Stick knives in it. Do voodoo on them. Do a painting of them.

Send them to me. Please. Help. Me.

In the name of anyone and everyone who has ever received something like this.



For you see, the best one will be the winner. And the winner is going to get a lovely, really lovely, prize.

Love and Holidays,
Lorraine

PS Edited to Add...


Pictures from my Sister Tracy of HER Tape Measure and Scrub Brush...






PPS Edited to add....


My Sister Karen's sends a pic of HER present this year. (She includes the Mini Dust Pan and Broom the same women sent to us a few years back. I hadn't mentioned she had ALREADY sent one once before, as I wanted this to be believable)



And she figures out how to use the Scrub Brush properly...

245 Comments:

1 – 200 of 245 Newer› Newest»
At 16:32 Blogger Lioness said...

Now I had hoped that the scrub brush had the price on it because I am very curious as to how much this lovely ensemble goes for.
This looks like a perfect candidate for a secret Santa exchange.

And personally, I think that you jinxed it by opening it before Christmas. Had you waited, it would have been something else. Something you actually wanted. It transmogrified as you opened it.

At 16:32 Blogger Phiala said...

"Insured and delivery confirmation" - that's really the best part.

At 16:33 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ummm, I am not making art right now as I have just moved and am unpacking, but just wanted to say, I kind of like the tape measure. lol

At 16:36 Blogger Phiala said...

Oh, Fods... I just had the best art idea. It's hideous!

Now where did I put the glue gun...

At 16:36 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I am tempted to make some sort of horrifying digital art with it. It's the perfect opportunity to teach myself to use the GIMP program that is languishing in the background of my computer.

Although, I do have to say I would be delighted with a gift such as this. That's just the way I am. IT MATCHES!!!!!

At 16:36 OpenID pbsjones said...

I think what you're missing, Lorraine, is that the tape measure has a wrist strap. How can you go wrong with a wrist strap?

At 16:38 Blogger dabbler said...

Christmas present comes
What is in the package?
Floral confusion

or

Father's wife is mad.
HE should buy the presents.
This will make him wise.

At 16:40 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Oh, and here is a cute story about an octopus who received a Mr. Potato Head for Christmas.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/83550-the-octopus-who-loves-his-mr-potato-head

I am willing to celebrate Christmas if anyone wants to send a cute octopus or Mr. Potato Head to my new apartment.

At 16:53 Blogger Sharon said...

I am really thinking it all needs to be display together AS art on wall. Preferably the wall of a shed, garage or basement.

I keep trying to figure out why the measuring tape? Do you need to calculate the size of mess before you clean it? Do you measure the sink, calculate the size before you do the dishes?

And I am betting she sent the mini brush set because the regular size one was too difficult to shit.

BTW, any house with these items IS a scary house. But in all the wrong ways.

At 16:55 Blogger Beez said...

I was squarely in the Clueless camp until this: "Insured and delivery confirmation".

I am migrating to Losing It.

Oh. Hmm. Idea.

At 16:57 Blogger marym-d said...

Oh Sweetie,
That is too much. Even if it had skulls instead of flowers it'd be better. But still- too much. The expectation, the incredibly droll nature of it... It would be funny but it hurts. Hang in there.

At 16:57 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Me, I'd be arranging them around Mr Skellie, for the incongruity factor.

*hangs head in shame* The calculator looks kind of cute!

At 16:59 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Wendy - Fods I LOVE the octopuses.

At 17:03 Anonymous Angelobscura said...

for a while there the photos didn't load and i was thinking what's the big deal, cute flowered 'tool' set what more could a girl...OOOHHHH they're hideous!

At 17:05 Blogger DataGoddess said...

Sally, I think you have an excellent idea of putting them around Mr. Skellie! Such a nice decorative touch!!

I'm with the "losing it" group. They're hideous!!

At 17:08 Blogger vampi said...

wow. just wow. those are just wow. my mom switched to jewelry a few years ago. not always priceless gems, but still at least something i can use.

i think these should be made into a "CPOS" (center piece of $h...) with some "matching" dollar store flowers. the brush can be the tall focal with the rest arranged around the brush. the tape measure can be the "ribbon" tying the "CPOS" together. the insured and registered tags should be incorporated.

At 17:08 Anonymous Karen said...

Oh damn... I wasn't gonna look til xmas. Maybe she thinks cause we have cats we need the dustpan... The calculator for figuring the best kitty litter price... The tape measure is for figuring their aspect ratio, of course...(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXBL6bzAR4 if you don't know how to measure your cat's aspect ratio) I'm just not sure about the toilet brush. I'll let you know if mine morphs into something like a new snow blower or a gift card to amazon.. waiting til xmas for sure now... :D

At 17:12 Blogger Siri said...

These are reminiscent of the presents Ma used to give me, down to the price tag left on. They were just little useful things, though - she also always gave great "big" presents. These are more stocking stuffers, in my world. I can't not like them, reminding me so of my past....

Ma - I love and miss you - Maudie.

At 17:21 Anonymous Tracy said...

Hey! They are NOT the same!! Mine is stupid pink flowers and yours is prettier! Pat likes you best! I knew it.....

At 17:23 Blogger vampi said...

i just can't stop giggling.
siri, i do enjoy some useful presents, but a dishbrush and dustpan, and matching? i think it's the matching and the "lovely" pattern that really gets me.

At 17:25 Blogger Siri said...

I never said they weren't as ugly as sin....I just miss getting things like that, 'cause they were from Ma.....

I've started giving them to garage sales when I find them in a box in the basement... How many jar openers does one person need?

At 17:26 Blogger vampi said...

i'm really curious about the pink set now, lol.

At 17:32 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would swear it was from my grandmother (dad's mom) if she weren't dead. She used to give my mother stuff like this - and they had millions. Go figure...

At 17:58 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

OMG! My sisters posted on my blog! Knew I had to get drastic to lure them out! Welcome Tracy and Karen!

(Tracy and Karen ROCK my world, they are just like me, only cooler)

And Welcome Angel, Anonymous, and all of you!

And thank you! This has made me feel a lot better. I think if I thought it was sent with love, it would have been sweet, just as dreadful, but sweet.

I'm kind of curious about the pink ones too now...Sorry we spoiled Xmas for you Karen!

ART! I need art!

When we webcast on the Jan 2nd show, I will WEAR the tape measure.

At 18:06 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

If you want, we can trade horrifying presents. Last year, my sister bought me a bible stand. (She's the same sister who gets her religion from the 700 club and cries when I talk about my Judaism. When she added me on FaceBook, she told me I was no longer allowed to mention politics or religion on my FB page.)

At 18:12 Blogger Beez said...

The Fella suggests we get you a matching utility belt.
Wouldn't want to lose any of the flowery bits.

(....she can be a Superhero with it?....what?!!)

*chases the Fella off*

Men.

At 18:17 Blogger vampi said...

well quiche is pretty super...

and wendy, it's "your" facebook. how rude. she doesn't have to friend you. i would be tempted to put all sorts of political and religious things as my status updates.

At 18:21 Blogger Beez said...

Vampi, he already knows she's a Superhero.

He just likes to be weird- probably why I love him.

Oh man, the Art is coming into focus in my head.

At 18:21 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I'm guessing right about now my FB friends wish I'd post more about politics and religion and less about New Orleans.

Since it's the end of the day, I've only got 11 more days to go until the move!!!!!

Although, I did post an awesome video earlier of Neil Diamond singing Adam Sandler's Hanukkah song.

My sister's insane, but she sort of means well.

At 18:22 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I'm with Vampi, start posting. Ugh! Can you block her? And, uh, I can see she doesn't get that all religions ARE the true religion, and that HOW you interpret what you believe is how you do, what's important is what's in your heart.

Sounds like SHE has a problem.

Beez, would the toolbelt be Flowered????

At 18:23 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Wendy, tell her you are moving to New Orleans to pursue Voodoo with the Marie LaVeau school. Bet she backs off the Judaism.

At 18:24 Blogger Dragonsally said...

I know why your stepmom did it Quiche...she wanted to get your sisters to post so we could all go HI THERE SISTERS OF QUICHE. *bounces with excitement*
And, she just knew you'd want us all to think about creative things to do with them. Nothing like a creative challenge for The Fiends.

At 18:28 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Voodoo school. Huh. I never knew.

At 18:31 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

You guys would love my sisters...

Here are their sites:

Tracy:

http://artifacts.brigandsfolie.com/body.htm

And Karen:

http://www.brigandsfolie.com

At 18:31 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I made that up Sally...

At 18:32 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

When my mom went on the whirlwind New Orleans tour with me so I could take my college tests, she bought a mess of $2 "voodoo dolls" (which were made in China) that the tourist shops sell. My sisters (they're twins) saw them in my mom's "curio" cabinet (which also holds a notebook made out of recycled panda poop and a reindeer that poops jelly beans) and were worried about her because she had such an evil object in the house.

I used to be pagan, and I got lectures about how my sister wanted to see me in heaven. I'm not sure why she's so against me being Jewish. I think it's because it's harder to see Judaism as a phase. She wouldn't even begin to understand the complexities of Judaism and how pretty much all of the things I believed before I still believe, except now I have an awesome community and can take tons of classes on esoteric texts written a thousand years ago. (Reform and Conservative Judaism even leave wiggle room for goddess worship.)

At 18:33 Blogger Dan Guy said...

Last I checked, the snow on the back deck was 16.5 inches deep, and it's still snowing. Can't seem to get the weather machine to turn off...

At 18:34 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Hi there Fabulous Sisters!

I had a similar thought to Vampi's. Centerpiece. Vaguely turkey-shaped.
The calculator is the base, the dustpan is the body, the mini-broom the tail, and the dish brush the head and neck. The tape measure is for tying all the bits together, reinforced by the price stickers. Sorry, I don't have a printer to do a mock-up.

At 18:35 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Sally:

There are probably voodoo schools in New Orleans somewhere. Although, it's much harder to get into actual voodoo, because people who practice it don't trust outsiders.

<----- Minor in anthropology. Giant crushing 50 page projects on voodoo.

At 18:35 Blogger Dragonsally said...

GOn on Quiche, suck in the poor little Aussie...

Wendy, you have the best stories -your sisters are cards!

At 18:37 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

HA!!!!!!!!

I knew that Danguy was involved in the East Coast Blizzard!

Called that one. When Mad Scientists go bad....

At 18:40 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Oh my, the descriptions didn't do those justice. I too want to see the pink ones!

Hello Sisters!!! You sure do have a talented family!

Hubby is sick. Blah. Hope I don't get it too!

At 18:43 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Tracy, can you send a picture of the Pink ones?

At 18:46 Blogger Beez said...

Uh, yeah- he meant a FLOWERED utility belt.

I told you he was being weird...


Wendy, your mom sounds a lot like you. How did the twins get like that? Is it their form of rebellion?

I

At 18:48 Blogger vampi said...

oh wendy, i didn't mean to imply she's meant anything, i'm just saying that if someone in my family says something like that, i want to REBEL.

At 18:52 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Flowered tool belts aren't weird.

I sort of figure just because you are related by blood, it doesn't make you FAMILY.

We are family...I got all my sisters with me....

(might need to sleep more...)

At 19:03 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Vampi: I often want to rebel, too. I try not to, because my sister is so crazy and sensitive and means well. It's no fun to rebel when you know someone loves you and it will just make them cry and feel bad.

Beez: My mom had my sisters when she was 19. My mom was very Baptist and proper then. My mom had me when she was 40. She was cranky and no longer cared what people thought. We also had different dads. My sisters' dad was abusive, and my dad was a quiet intellectual who bought me truckloads of books. My sisters hate reading, and I was reading Stephen King and J.R.R. Tolkein when I was but a wee lass. My sisters grew up to become professional models, and I was a chubby little girl who grew up to be a professional (even though somewhat failed) writer and now teacher. When my sisters were growing up, they would spend all their money on candy and records. When I was growing up, I spent all my money on books and would check out 30 books at a time from the library and read them in a week. My sisters (the crazy one in particular) were told from everyone (even their parents and teachers) that they weren't too bright and not to try too hard. I was told by my dad that I should reach for the stars. Now I bull through whatever goals I have and get them done, and my sisters have a hard time really living.

I blame books the most, though. That reading's a really nasty, mind altering habit to kick.

At 19:05 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I'll trade you my sisters for yours. They also come with matching accessories, including two houses in Florida, one daughter, two husbands, and five dogs. Oh, and a pool and a hot tub. And, random cars including a pickup truck and a purple convertible.

At 19:17 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Ohhh, a purple convertible. I can see Lorraine in that!

I can understand where your sister is coming from now Wendy. You must feel so blessed with your upbringing.

At 19:22 Blogger Precision Grace said...

Are you absolutely POSITIVE she isn't senile? 100%?

If not, then perhaps you haven't explored your present properly. Perhaps the tape measure has a secret button you press whereupon it transforms into a staff with a fluffy bit at the end - perfect for those Bengal baiting moments late at night.

And perhaps the calculator is really a money making machine where you put in an amount and it just prints out the money you need?

And maybe the dust brush & pen set are for sweeping bed experiences out of your memory (start with the memory of receiving this present)

I probably won't do art, but I've painted you a nice wordy picture up there, I hope that counts too.

Hello Quichee sisters!

At 19:41 Blogger Sharon K said...

I made you a few ornaments using the pix you posted. I hope you like them.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/worksbyknight/4198247023/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/worksbyknight/4198246817/in/photostream/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/worksbyknight/4199000586/in/photostream/

At 19:42 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Whoa! Wendy, gotta call you on the failed writer thing. If you are writing you ain't failed. And you ain't dead yet. Oui? And if you want to, you can, you wouldn't have the desire if you didn't.

Besides, you talk like a writer, I always thought you were one.

Grace, Stepmother is beyond evil, she is a pretty bad memory who got me and my sisters out of the house as fast as she could.

She pretends to be nice, but isn't. Oddly enough she is a therapist who never seemed to think the fact that we had an alcoholic mother who left us, after get this, we had been abused by mr icky next door, should have had any effect on us.

My dads idea was It Never Happened.

Sweep away memories!

At 19:43 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Sharon, I love them! Look at this good that is coming from the Hideous gift!

At 19:58 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Added Pictures from Tracy to the end of the blog of HER tape measure and scrub brush....

At 20:02 Blogger Cecily said...

OMG I wish I had a working printer!

And totally off topic...

WE HAVE SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!
LOTS AND LOTS OF SNOW!!!!

I am so amazingly happy. I took a ton of pictures of us out there. They are up on Facebook.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled comments.

At 20:04 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I'm giving up on journalism to teach. I guess it isn't as much failed as redirecting. I'm giving up on writing news articles to help people and give me more time to write the things I really want to write. Also, I figure New Orleans is the perfect city to live as a teacher/ writer.

I have decided that I have five years to get five books published, so I have until January 2015 to make it happen. I have one novel I'm rewriting now, so I will make it work!

I'm also pretty sure the synagogue I'm looking into could use someone to organize/ write their newsletter.

All the best writers seem to have spent time as teachers.

I'm pretty lucky. I got to live with my dad for 14 whole years before he died, and my mom only had one horrible boyfriend. Fortunately he got shot in a drug deal while I was away at college for the first time, and by the time I moved back home he was gone.

My stories are pretty interesting. :/

Now I have an awesome stepfather who keeps taking my mom on cruises and buys me expensive jewelry and just bought me a wii. If only my mom was nicer to the poor guy...

At 20:15 Blogger Lioness said...

Sharon K, those are gorgeous ornaments.
Stepmothers are always a mixed bag. Mine loved my father dearly but never quite faced the fact that marrying a widower with 6 kids meant the kids came along too. *shakes head*

At 20:16 Blogger AletaMay said...

Wow. I love the idea of a matching utility belt!

Maybe that wee brush and dust pan can be useful in sweeping away those memories -- symbolically.

Hi Sisters of Q!

I am thinking I might try my hand at some digital fun with these images. great palate!

At 20:17 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Here's to all you Strong and Fabulous Women.

At 20:18 Blogger Beez said...

Quichie, Spawn and my last therapist (a remarkably sane woman) said there are any number of 'em out there who go into it so they don't have to deal with their own shit- too busy looking at other peoples. I'm sorry for anyone who falls into their "theraputic" clutches.

That's why we make our own families. They end up being the best ones of all, because we can pick them.

At 20:19 Blogger Craig Steffen said...

Wait, we WIN your contest and you SEND us a MYSTERIOUS prize?

Sorry, Lorraine, not buying it. You're just going to send out the items themselves as the prize! Which at best is in bad taste, at worst puts the recipient in a hideous circular ritual of exchanging apocalyptic artifacts of evil power! What does the price tag say, "Kitch of Vecna"?

At 20:20 Blogger Beez said...

Yeah Aleta, looks like I'm going to be Photoshopping my little heart out. Too fun!

At 20:23 Blogger bengalgirl said...

I'm with you, I just don't get it. What a strange gift and to give to all three girls is even more strange. Did you pull the tape out, is there a secret message? Open the battery compartment, maybe there is money?

No way will I compete in an art project, if I win, you will probably give the winner "THE GIFT", lol.

Hi Sisters, you have a very wonderful sister, but I'm sure you already know.

At 20:27 Blogger dabbler said...

Just have to say, she may call herself a therapist, but she's sure no healer!

We have lotsa snow, too! Sadly, DS is still at the other end of PA, but he will come home tomorrow. We've had a lovely snowed in sort of day. All the CDs are on shelves. NO, I lie. Most of the CDs are on shelves, except the ones in boxes in the basement cause there are too many of them. Most of those are Frank Zappa and Grateful Dead, and belong to DH. And all the DVDs are on shelves and there is a place to put a Christmas tree.

Someone posted about a Bengal boy in PA at the very end of the last blog, and I asked which Springfield (Delaware County or Montgomery County) and was there a phone number. Re-asking, cause it was at the very end.

At 20:28 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

You are all very wise. Truly.

Craig, I was going to send the Horrible gifts but now I am getting offers on them, to trade for REALLY Hideous things! Much cooler.

Wendy, New Orleans is going to rock for you.

At 20:30 Blogger marym-d said...

Lorraine,
I'm laughing because your hideous present IS nicer than your sisters. (sorry Tracy)

I think it's because of presents like these that so much alcohol was consumed by my family during the holidays!

At 20:30 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Thank you Dabbler, for checking on the Bengal...Good advice on the therapist.

I remember once getting in trouble (they held an intervention) for smoking pot at a rock concert. I pointed out my step brothers were too. She said we weren't talking about them.

At 20:34 Blogger dabbler said...

And Beez, Spawn and your therapist were completely correct. Nearly the ONLY reason anyone goes into the profession of therapist is to figure themselves out. The good ones keep doing their own work on themselves...and learn from their own journeys how to guide others' healing. The others....use their book knowledge to wall off their own pain and never get close to real inside-out work. My not so humble .02

At 20:39 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

But I WANTED to win the horrible gift. :(

GIMP is no photoshop, but I'm going to keep working on my horrifying picture. :(

At 20:39 Blogger dabbler said...

And, I must confess I have a screwdriver with interchangeable heads that has splashy purple flowers on the handle, and I bought it myself. After having every tool I owned for ten years vanish into the household, and never be available, this one actually gets returned!

At 20:41 Blogger EmilyLady said...

Ahm.

At 20:44 Blogger invincor said...

Maybe it's a feint... designed to lure you into thinking that that's all you're getting, when the really awesome gift of a pony or something turns up on Christmas morning. Maybe?

- Steve Manfred

At 20:46 Blogger Beez said...

I remember once getting in trouble (they held an intervention) for smoking pot at a rock concert. I pointed out my step brothers were too. She said we weren't talking about them.

Ack. I know it was years ago, but I just want to slap people like that.

At 21:06 Blogger Cecily said...

I have had very poor luck with therapists myself.

I have not been to New Orleans but I wish you the best of luck there Wendy!

I fell like I am writing up bullet point responses and still missing a ton of stuff. I blame the snow it's just too pretty.

At 21:11 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Wendy, if you tell me which you want, I will send you one of the Horrible Gifts for a Housewarming Present when you get to New Orleans...

Steve, I gave up on the getting a pony for Xmas many years ago. This year, I finally bought myself one. Tho I could be wrong...

(If anyone needs to know ANYTHING Dr Who, Steve is THE person to ask, he is my mentor...)

Yeah, she was NOT about healing. She was about herself. Dabbler, you nailed it.

Thanks Beez, STILL want to smack her. Funny thing was, after my evaluation, they said I didn't have a problem, but our family should come in five days a week every evening. Funny how I never heard any more about it..

At 21:12 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I kind of want to be really, really snowed in too...Keep hearing about everyone out east, being all cozy...

At 21:13 Blogger EmilyLady said...

Snow snow snow snow snow snow. Just had a late-night snow party in the backyard.

At 21:16 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Ok, Picture added to the end of the blog of Sister Karen's version of the present....

At 21:20 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

http://s12.photobucket.com/albums/a212/howlokitty/?action=view&current=FabLoHorrifying.jpg

This is the horribleness I would like to call "Pretty Tools Gift Wrap."

For anyone looking for a gift for that special someone, Pretty Tools Gift Wrap is for you!

At 21:23 Blogger Beez said...

OMG, it REALLY moved into No F***ing Way territory.

I think the glitch in the brain has been aggravated by incipient senility.

At 21:25 Blogger Shantra said...

OK seriously.. don't knock the dollar store, I have never seen anything this great at the dollar store, it is usually dull greys and that tan color that just doesn't go with anything.

But this gift shows real forethought, really it does. I mean there are lots of colors in there and none of them clash with spooky black. I might have thought she bought them to match your drapes but I can't imagine Lorraine having drapes like this in the Spooky house.. or floral sofa cushions for that matter.

I am kind of clueless. What was she thinking? It reminds me of quite possibly the worst Christmas gift I ever got from a colleague. She got me.. wait for it.. red plastic food containers with kind of a sparkle in them. We have worked together years and I know her quite well, she gave them to me saying 'I couldn't think what to get you so I got you something practical. They only do this color at Christmas.' Seriously? You couldn't think of a single thing other than plastic food containers? I was speechless.

So there you go Lorraine and Tracey and Karen, there is always someone out there worse off than yourself. You got matching floral dustpans and brushes.. I got plastic food containers.

Feel better now?

Oh and one of my 3 fosters got adopted today.. little Laila went home with a wonderful young couple.

At 21:26 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I would have to say I want the dust pan and swiffy brush. I really want the scrubby brush, but it will be easier to hang the dustpan and swiffy brush up on my wall, and one has to be practical about these sorts of things.

I would also like to say that I always buy my sisters the same present, but it's because they're twins, and if you don't buy them the exact same thing, you'll end up hurting both their feelings.

Although, never cleaning sets. This year I am hand knitting them both wash rags, though.

At 21:26 Blogger chosha said...

Loving the 'wtf?' look on the face of the cat.

At 21:29 Blogger Cecily said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 21:34 Anonymous Karen said...

Caillou (the kitty) really likes the scrub brush... I'm doubting I can train her to use it to do the dishes...

At 21:37 Blogger Cecily said...

Wendy I LOVE the pic. It's like an I Spy of tacky gifts!

At 21:38 Blogger Cecily said...

OMG I love being snowed in sooo much, but we so rarely get it here on the East Coast. I am going to revel in every second of it. And if I am lucky school will be closed or delayed on Monday.

I often want to smack my real mom. *lol*

Being a mom of 3 I can't fathom some of the things parents do. One of mine is my step-daughter, and I don't treat her any differently. I can't imagine treating her any differently. I am told I am a rare breed when it comes to how I parent, but I am also told I am doing a kick ass job. So I will continue to not be able to fathom the behaviors of people like your step-mom.

At 21:38 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Karen:

Cats are notorious for not learning how to do their chores.

At 21:38 Blogger Beez said...

Yeah Karen, they always use that "no opposable thumb" excuse.

It's gettin' old.

At 21:40 Blogger dabbler said...

Going to go to sleep now, in my cozy bed in the snowy world. Sweet dreams all you lovely people.

At 21:41 Anonymous Karen said...

She won't do the dishes but she will eat boxelder bugs... She tells me it qualifies as a job

At 21:41 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Cecily:

Thanks! If I had access to Photoshop at home, it would be much more awesome. And, Serious Black would probably be making a cameo appearance. But, I was having a hard time with the cut tool and layers in GIMP.

Pfft Gimp.

At 21:41 Blogger vampi said...

those ornaments are fabulous!

At 21:45 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Karen:

My cats won't even eat bugs. Serious Black will, however, take care of any stray canned mushrooms that fall on the floor. And, Kitty will demand I feed her anything I'm eating then give me disgusted looks when she realizes she doesn't want most of it.

At 21:45 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Shantra, Hurrah on another Bengal Rescue!!!!!!!

Yes, it is pretty surreal.

Cats are pretty lame about chores, but they make up for it in the Catch Mice department. Better them than me.

At 21:50 Blogger Katie said...

Twice!? You got that twice? Wow. If I got that for several people once, I would remember. I wouldn't find myself standing in the store thinking, "huh, did we get those for them before?"

I've got a fairly large house, for two people, anyway, and I wouldn't mind having such a set to stash away in a cupboard downstairs for use when I (inevitably) can't find the main ones.

Cover them in Lisa Snelling's Poppets, that's what I'd do. They would look lovely, staring, inquisitive and slightly blankly, at those floral nightmares.

Do you remember what you wrote for the thank-you card the last time you sent it? Do the same one again, but with more floral patterns.

At 21:50 Blogger W said...

I still think that you should take a photo of something really nice that you already own (that she doesn't know you have) and email the photo plus a thank you for the nice thing in the photo. It'd blow your step-mom's mind. It'd be even better if your sisters did the same. ;)

-Wendy/MerryDragon

At 21:52 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I just found five petrified dead frogs in the space above my door. :/ All this time, I thought they were random twigs and/or vine pieces that got stuck there. There used to be a tiny albino frog that peeked his head out from up there. What happened? It's like a mummified massacre. Was there really a family of albino frogs that lived there?

At 21:52 Blogger Cecily said...

Wendy, I also have bad feelings about Gimp. As a matter of fact I kinda hates it.

At 21:56 Blogger Cecily said...

So I have an idea for 'art' with this stuff, that might make a great thank you note. It's a pic of one of the cats, and some poo, and you measure it with the tape measure, and sweep it up with dust pan, and calculate it's mass with the calculator, and then scrub the carpet with the brush. :-)

At 21:59 Blogger Cecily said...

IIRC, frogs can freeze over the winter and then 'defrost' when it warms up.

At 22:02 Blogger Jess said...

Good heavens.

I saw on Twitter that someone offered to trade a headless-lady teapot thing for the tape measure. I say go for it. It'll look gorgeous as a table centerpiece (and you can set it off with the dish brush for contrast).

Failing that, I stand by my original idea: fashion a makeshift catapult with the stuff, and use it to fling cat toys.

Karen - your cat is adorable, and has the right attitude toward the dish brush. (I say again: good heavens.)

Five inches of snow here since last night. That's pretty snowed in, yeah? *hides under blanket*

At 22:10 Anonymous Karen said...

I'll give up my set plus a bonus purple dustpan for the headless lady tea pot

(Jess: Princess Caillou, Duchess of Mousies, Champion Toe-Getter, Eater of Boxelder Bugs aka stinky says thank you, she knows /smug paw lick)

At 22:12 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

This is Florida, and it was a couple of months ago, I think, that I saw a living frog up there. I looked up there today because a few days ago I found one frog hanging down by its legs. It was leathery and mummified looking. What happened to my froggy friend(s)? :(

At 22:18 Blogger Cecily said...

Oh noes, that sad. I have no idea what a mummified frog means.

At 22:22 Blogger Beez said...

BWAHA! Wendy/Merry Dragon- that thank-you note idea is ace!

A skull each perhaps?

"Dear person who married father, thank you for the lovely skull! It is exactly what I wanted.
The care and thought that you put into gifts is amazing, each and every year.

Yr. Devoted Not-Daughter"

At 22:29 Blogger Cassia said...

Heh, I just want to say that as a regular lurker/follower, I couldn't resist trying to photoshop this stuff together. Don't have Flickr or twitpic, though... when I finish can I email my creation to you?

At 22:30 Anonymous Karen said...

-In ancient Egypt, frogs were symbols of resurrection and were even mummified with the dead

You could make a little mummified frog band with them... I believe they sell well in Cancun (I did not buy one... I swear...)

At 22:35 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I put them in a bush outside. I thought of keeping them and putting them in a jar, but it seemed wrong, since I used to talk to one/ all of them when it/ they hung out on top of my door. Sort of like how I will probably bury my cats, not keep them in a jar when they pass on.

I would probably buy a band made out of anonymous mummified frogs. I have an alligator hand that I keep as a charm hanging from my rearview mirror. It horrifies some of my friends.

At 22:37 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Oh Fods, the look on Karen's cat's face says it all!

This has ended up being the most fun blog today - who'd have thought I'd get such joy out of 3 sisters receiving questionable gifts?
Sharon, those ornaments are incredible and Wendy - you did my eyes in.
Now I must go and see what has been happening on Twitter.

At 22:51 Blogger Sharon K said...

Thank you Loraine, Lioness & Vampi
I love playing in Paint Shop Pro.
I tried Gimp, but had no luck with it, had used PSP too long, so I ditched it.

Hello Lorraine's sisters!!! I think your step-mom bought a gross of those gross things and everyone she sends gifts will keep getting them until she runs out.

Wendy, I worked with a guy who had a bumper sticker on his car that said ' Born Again Pagan', his brother who owned the company hated that sticker. I thought it was a hoot! It's not the religion that's important, it's having Faith. Too many people use religion as an excuse and no Faith when Faith is the answer. Oh, love you camouflage art! You did a great job!

At 22:57 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Sharon:

Thanks! I'm hoping all of the fiends are struck blind just from looking at it!

I still have a Blessed Be sticker. And, I'm trying to figure out where I stand on the pagan/ Judaism/ etc. continuum. I love ritual, I love ancient languages (like Hebrew) and I love studying all sorts of ancient texts (like the Talmud, etc.). At the same time, I don't see why I have to give up all sorts of rituals I've used in the past.

I figure no matter what I do, someone is going to be offended, whether it be my family or someone who doesn't think I'm the right kind of Jew. So, I might as well do what I want.

To me, the religion isn't as important as doing what's right for you.

At 23:03 Blogger Cecily said...

I have a pretty purple Blessed Be bumper sticker along with "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, as you are crunchy and good with ketchup" and "The last time we mixed politics and religion people were burned at the stake"

Just yesterday I caught view of this elderly couple in the car behind me reading them. I got the biggest kick out of it. Especially since the laughed at the dragon one. :-)

At 23:07 Blogger Cassia said...

Ok, so I ended up just uploading the picture to twitpic (it was a lot easier to set up an account than I expected, and I didn't feel like trying to figure out Flickr). You can see it here: http://twitpic.com/uaql9 I hope you like it.

I'll probably try to de-lurk more often, so this will seem less random...

At 23:12 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Cassia, that is pretty awesome. Are you up for being followed by Fiends on Twitter?

At 23:23 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Cassia, that is awesome!!!

Cecily, my favorite bumper sticker is "Hate is not a family value." Also, "Newspapers are only as liberal as the giant corporations that own them."

At 23:34 Blogger Cecily said...

Wendy, my favorite bumper sticker is TOWANDA! and one day I will find it again.

At 23:42 Blogger Cassia said...

Thanks! Dragonsally, it's fine if you follow me. (No way to phrase that without half a million fs springing out of nowhere). I try to keep my feed pretty small so I can keep up with all my tweets. So I may not follow back (oooh, or I could make another list! A Fiend list! haha, that would be awesome!)

At 23:51 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Cassia, you will find being in the Fiend list on Twitter adds another whole dimension to Fiendom. We are very active, from across our different timezones!

At 23:55 Blogger Cassia said...

I know, now that I'm de-lurking that's something I'm really excited about: There's always a party going on! :)

I had a Jason start following me just now, btw. If he's from here, he should let me know so I can add him to the Fiend list. I don't remember there being a Jason, but I haven't been lurking quite as faithfully recently, either. :-/

At 00:02 Blogger Cassia said...

ticky box

At 01:33 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I'd say that all these cleaning stuff is a tad offensive and the flowery bit just shows how much she know you girls (Your sisters do not necessarily have to be in the same skull boat as you are but on the other hand... flowers. For goodness' sake.)
I'll try and see if something can be made out of this.

At 02:52 Blogger Marjorie said...

Aaargh. I left a really long comment & blogger ate it:(
so, Hello, sisters of Q!
I did see this blog last night as I was going to bed, but felt uneqal to the task of commenting on it . I am gobsmacked (and have to agree, Q of the three sets, yours are the prettiest)
Maybe all three of you could do thankyou notes asssumkng it was sent deliberately as a joke, but asking if she has a tracking number as you actual gift doesn't seem to have shown up, you've only recieved the 'gag gift' part....
BTW, Karen, when did you clone my cat?

At 03:11 OpenID asphodeline said...

Are you sure there's not a second package? Because you seem to be missing the matching, floral rubber gloves!

Thank you for sharing but now the cats want a flowery backscratcher of their own. Hugs and skulls

At 04:36 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

Interesting......

I have never seen anything like them. Never. Ever.

It's like they were stolen from the Floweverse. You better give them back before the cleaning faeries come to get you.

:-)

At 05:27 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Karen!! Tracy!!

Squee!!

{{hugs and kisses}}

Karen esp should email me. :) Just sayin'

Oh, and I was Most impressed by the fact that the Ebil SM managed to find not one but THREE flowered Lady Tool (TM) sets until I noticed that....Karen's set doesn't match. What's up with that? An even lower level of taste?

sigh.... but Very High amusement factor. Well done for being the three sisters of resilience, btw.

...also btw --I must be exhausted (drive to ABQ and then catching up on the Waters of Mars Dr. Who special..)
Because I read Shantra's post as
"Laila went home with a lovely young corpse." Of course, for a Bengal that *could* be a good thing....

Pss... Lioness: Just have to ask--when did Schroedinger's Cat become Schroedinger's Dollar Store Christmas Present? Although there is logic to what you say....

At 05:39 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

more post scripts, before bed time...

To whomever was kvetching about Gimp, my symp. Great concept, hard to work with. And tutorials for open source are pointless when they are out of date in less than 24 hours, much less the year that seems to go by afore they are officially updated (/end rant)

Bumper stickers seen around the wee town o' Socorro: CoExist, with each and every letter a different symbol. The C a crescent moon, for example...can't remember exactly, but pretty sure the x was a Star of David and the T denoted by a crucifix.

Just liked the concept....

At 05:42 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Ahhh, repeat of Hogfather especially for Hogswatch. Now there is a brilliant skellie for you!

At 05:54 Blogger Precision Grace said...

Eeek, Lorraine, that sounds awful. Sorry to hear you had such a bad time of your youth.

Your dad sounds like a tool. And your stepmother is clearly as daft as a brush.
heh, see what I did there?

My imagination has gone into overdrive over this thing. Now I'm thinking how the tape measure would come in handy if, say, one was measuring for a new patio...and the dustpan and brush are clearly useful for sweeping away the evidence uh, I mean rubbish...and the scrubbing brush is clearly useful for scrubbing away blood, um, I mean any spills over the holiday season while one calculates how many therapy hours one saved by getting rid of the source of the trouble ...

Er. Too Spooky? *ebil laugh*

At 05:54 Blogger Precision Grace said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 07:07 Blogger EmilyLady said...

Uh-oh. Snowed in with three brothers.

At 08:45 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Morning!

Cassia, really glad you de-lurked. If you lurk, you belong here, sometimes just takes a bit to jump into the fray.

I hope Karen stays around too. Good to hear from her.

Had a long talk with Tracy last night as well. LOOK, it's like a little lesson, see how this Hideous Gift has brought us closer together? (Not that we were apart, we just all do really different things)

Emily, feel for you, bet you have fun tho..

Marjorie, that's pretty funny. We are close, but I had a talk with my Dad some years ago as he would send a card with $25 every year. (Pat sent her own box)

I suggested to him he send a cd he liked, or a book he enjoyed, and he could do it online, or flowers, or even just write me a letter.

He liked that for a while.

Pat used to send blankets, throws, loved that, very useful in the North, still have a lot of them, using one NOW.

At 08:47 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Lys:

I dominate Photoshop at work, but I'm poor. When I first got GIMP, I assumed it was Photoshop lite. (Which it kind of is.) I obviously overestimated my 133t photo editing skills. CS3 is so much better!

Oh, and yet another reason I'm glad I'm moving to NOLA: The new girl at work has apparently been hired to write press releases and direct mailers and design catalogs and direct mailers and DVD covers and the like... That what have left me with all of the boring data entry and Photoshop drone work like taking care of putting UPCs on thousands of video covers. She also refuses to answer the phone. Have fun, new girl! I only have four days of work left before I fly away like a fat-@$$ed bird!!!!!! (An expression my mom uses a lot, for some reason.)

But, that's the kind of thing my boss does. If we need salespeople, he will hire another designer and give the people who have worked their longer for less money the drone work. I almost laughed when he told her he would send her on one free vacation a year as one of her benefits of working there. I've never been on a vacay, and my sup has worked there for five years and been on two.

/end rant

At 08:53 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

You could always try to direct the thank you a bit. You could write "Dear SM, Thank you for the matching cleaning set you found me. I am sure it will come in handy. I would also like to thank you for the wonderful blanket you gave a few years back. I'm wrapped up in it now as I write this, and I have to say, it is the most thoughtful gift I have to receive. It keeps out the Minnesota cold, and it is warm and cuddly. It's getting a little warm around the edges; I sure hope it lasts me a good many years to come. I hope you have a happy holiday with my father and enjoy the coming of the New Year.

Yours truly,

Quiche"

Then, you mail a psy-toad along with the package. You will receive plenty of warm blankets after that.

At 09:51 Blogger Beez said...

Off to play with Photoshop. Hee

At 09:57 Blogger Cecily said...

Ly- I adore the Coexist bumper sticker. I even have a small one on my laptop. U2 even used the symbolistic word in a montage during the last tour. It was amazing beautiful.

At 10:02 Blogger Artful Lawyer said...

Hilarious. Reminding me of the years in which my mother in law gave me (who values books and CDs above all things) placemats and serving utensils (did I mention that I work full time and have opted out of any kind of homemaker activity?). Or the year when my mother said "you're so hard to buy for, and so picky" so she bought me (who lives in very plain clothes, having no real interest in them) a beaded, fringed cowgirl jacket. Um, have we met before, Mom?

I like the toolbelt idea - these should be part of a performace art piece. Maybe your Cool Sisters can join you in an interpretive dance and spoken word performance. OOH - you could be the Furies, or something - measuring with the measuring tape, then calculating with the calculator, then sweeping away with the (mini) dust pan and brush.... AFP could probably lend a lighting or special effects person to heighten the performance as well!

At 10:05 Anonymous Karen said...

My favorite bumper sticker I ever saw was "Dick Cheney Eats Kittens". no lie... real and true bumper sticker...

At 10:07 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

May bring them over for Spooky Teen today and take Pics....

Right. Off to work magic with airlines, change some unchangeable tickets, ho hum, just another day at work.

At 10:08 Blogger Cecily said...

Karen, while that is funny, I don't want to have anything in common with Dick Chenney! (the story behind that) My husband and I constantly make jokes about eating the cats. How they would be delightful snacks. And my husband, who is some sort of cat whisperer, can actually fake nom on their heads and they just sit there and purr. It's quite hilarious. I swear.

At 10:08 Anonymous Karen said...

My cat is currently chewing on the brush... It's usurped the most favored spot from crumpled post it notes.

At 10:11 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Very funny, Karen. Who knew???

It's like we all got lumps of coal in our stockings.

YOU all make the art with these things, they scare me. I can't much use full size cleaning supplies, not one of my skills, let alone mini ones.

At 10:22 Blogger Jane said...

ticky

At 10:23 Blogger Na said...

Hi Karen and Tracy! Welcome Cassia!

Hilarious horribleness. But I think the crazy step-ma forgot a few parts of the set! Like <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Papa-Johns-Toolbox-Flower-Tools/dp/B000LLVPPW/ref=pd_cp_hi_1>these<i>.

Caillou's look is priceless! Maybe doesn't mind the brush, but taking a little offense to the pattern on it?

Love Sharon K's ornaments, especially the second one that emphasizes the price sticker. Look forward to seeing what else peeps come up with. :D

At 10:25 Blogger Phiala said...

Busy around here!

I need an extension on my homework, please. My printer is out of ink and I'm missing certain... necessary ingredients.

Heh.

My accomplishments so far today: shovelling the rest of the snow and finishing Under the Dome. (Yes, I read a thousand-pager in a weekend.) Now I'm trying to summon energy for a shower and doing some work. Not so enthusiastic about that latter one. At least the sun is out...

At 10:25 Blogger Na said...

Oops. let me try that linkage again:

More Women Tools

Linky?

At 10:26 Blogger Na said...

linky! and ticky.

At 10:27 Blogger Phiala said...

Hey I have one of those 6-in-1 flower hammer thingies. With purple pansies on it. And yes, it was a Christmas present.

At 10:29 Blogger Na said...

Doh, was trying to quote Lys - meant "Lady Tools". Ah well. Off to do something with the day. Plenty of snow here, of course, but quite warm, hovering around 0 C! I believe snowgoon building is in order.

At 10:32 Blogger Ticia said...

Quiche- I have the same roblem with my stepmother. They just got back from a long trip to Mongolia and she sent me a folding key wallet (in leather) with the visage of a Mongolian man stamped into the front of it.

I'll take pictures when I get back to work. I opened it and threw it into a drawer. What do I do with that?

At 10:35 Blogger bengalgirl said...

I found your beautiful gifts, they are called "Pretty Tools" for woman and ebay has them for around $10 per item.

Discussed here; http://mogogak.blogspot.com/2009/08/pretty-tools-tools-designed-with-woman.html

Website is www.prettytools.com your items sell for a total of $12 but only wholesale in lots.

I think my thank you would be to buy them a flashlight and tell them that you so loved their gift that you had to go and find something they could use.

At 10:47 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I could have been into the hammer or those gloves! I would have thought, didn't know she was that cool and called her to say thanks, but the mini dustpan????

I am all for flowered tools, if only to get pics of Woodsman Hans using them.....

At 10:48 Anonymous Karen said...

I can't believe they cost $12...

Both cats seem to like the scrub brush... It WAS sweet of our step mother to think of the cats...

especially since she is deathly deathly allergic to them...

did I mention all 3 of us have multiple cats in our homes?

At 10:56 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

That is not a coincidence, the amount of cats.

I can't believe they cost that much either. I don't think they all did, I think she got the cheapest ones, it's the high cost things like those cool gloves, the shoes and the hammer that we didn't get...

Maybe for my birthday.

At 10:58 Blogger Cecily said...

I think you should send that set to your mom! I'm sure she could use a flower hammer!

At 11:12 Blogger vampi said...

"lady tools" muahaha, so i think yo know where my mind went with that...

holy crap batman, $12? those gloves are pretty awesome. when i moved out of state for the first time, my mom found a tool set branded by one of those pbs female fix it show hosts. i'm so thankful now they are a fairly pretty blue and grey. i see how it could have been so much worse. the tool set is pretty awesome, when i can find it, lol.

i'm fairly rubbish with photoshop and gimp. i take pictures, i let other peolpe manipulate them.

At 11:46 Anonymous Sallyacious said...

I have a measuring tape just like that one! Only with pink flowers. It came with a (useless) hammer and a (defective) screwdriver and a box/utility knife all with the same design. It was a gift from my mother. I do not understand this impulse.

However, I do use the knife and the tape measure quite frequently.

At 12:14 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

My mom took out and is now playing her pooping reindeer. She keeps pressing it down to make it poop jelly beans and telling me and my stepfather to watch.

At 12:28 Blogger Cecily said...

Vampi I am right there with you. 'flower' and 'lady tools'...I'm sure there is some website for that somewhere.

At 12:34 Blogger Karen B. said...

Best gifting post ever? And as someone else who is moving, yes I like the tape measure best. They're small and useful at the oddest times; maybe keep it in the car?

Have fun with all that snow, east coasters! We did when we had it, especially if you didn't have to GO anywhere for a day or two.

At 12:36 Blogger Karen B. said...

Also, is there some sort of gift-picking gene or skill or something? When people don't have it, well, they find stuff like floral matching household objects (stuff that I had no idea existed, really). It's like an anti-skill.

At 13:07 Blogger dabbler said...

So, once again fiends, we are of one mind. I have had, at one time or another, almost all the bumper stickers mentioned in these comments. Except the Dick Cheney one. Well done, us!

At 13:10 Blogger dabbler said...

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my husband? Kendra posted the details of where the boy Bengal in PA is, and it happens to be about 5 miles from where Mark is, having taken our daughter to her harp gig. (About 45 min from home.) So I called and asked him to go check it out, and take pics. He said "sure, no problem." In fact, he actually said, "No way! Sure, no problem." Nice man I married.

I will post more info later today when I know more.

At 14:08 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Go Dabbler's husband!

Na, et al--I do feel it is necessary to point out that Lorraine is in fact the originator of Lady Tools comment..my bad brain just ran w/it a bit.

Three sisters alike in dignity--cats!!

At 14:58 Blogger Lioness said...

Lysandwr, I don't know that it is Schroedinger's Dollar Store Christmas Present so much as an actual change. A present opened early is one thing, opened at it's proper time, another.
Although it is true that unopened, it retains the ability to be both.

At 15:05 Blogger Lioness said...

May I please apologize for the incorrect spelling of "its" in the preceding post? Thank you.

At 15:11 Blogger Beez said...

Aww, "Pretty Tools"

*laughing*

Well, I got my first Photoshop lesson from the Fella, and I deconstructed your present a bit.

here


Apologies to Frida, but I think she'd understand.

At 15:20 Blogger Marjorie said...

Beez, that's great!

At 15:25 Blogger Beez said...

Thanks Marjorie. It was fun!

I should have tried this Photoshop thing sooner.

Yay for Bengalboy and good husbands!

At 15:31 Anonymous Lysandwr said...

Beez! Well done...a hidden talent emerges. Who knew?

At 16:19 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Beez, I love that! You rock! See, art!!!!!!!!

At 16:39 Blogger Dragonsally said...

There are so many clever people here...Beez - that is so cool. I must learn how to play with photoshop I can see.

At 17:11 Blogger Fluffy said...

OMGOMGOMGWTFBBQ??

I still think having Skellie use them is the best idea evar. He could have a matching frilly apron and rubber gloves. Sort of a flowery, dead Jeeves.

I'm home alone right now, unsupervised. What to do, what to do???

At 17:18 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Skellie gets nothing.

Wendy wants the brush and dust pan for her New Orleans Housewarming, and I traded the tape measure to the nice lady on Twitter (who may be here too for all I know peoples names) for a seriously weird Tea Pot.

All I have left is the calculator...

At 17:18 Blogger dabbler said...

So, here's a link to the page for Cherokee, the Bengal boy.

http://www.acdc.ws/animals/detail?AnimalID=1590427


Doesn't say he's a Bengal, but he sure looks like one, and his description fits behaviorally. Haven't seen DD and DH yet to get a first hand report. Mark called me with the web info. Hopefully, this is enough to get him noted in the Great Bengal Rescue world. I'm tempted, but have two limits....one is financial, since we're scraping by till DS is out of school in May, and the other is my aging lady, Adventure, who would not be happy to give up being the only kitty.

Of course, I may get pressure once the family gets home. He's a pretty fellow.

Add: Mark and Penny say this is a BIG boy, even though the website says he's medium. The cage tag says 14 lbs, marked over 18 lbs....

At 17:26 Blogger dabbler said...

And I'll admit to being a bit taken aback by the adoption application, which asks about previous cats, their current status, and the names of the vets that treated them. Now, I'll be sixty on Christmas, and have, quite literally, had cats for my whole life. If we decided arbitrarily that my responsible cat ownership began after college, that means about seven cats, with an average age of 13, slightly skewed by the fact that one was adopted from a friend and vanished soon after, and one died young from a brain tumor. Most of them were 15 and over.

I'd be hard pressed to name all the vets...

At 17:27 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Dabbler! Cherokee is lovely, and very well could be part Bengal.

What a great guy. It sort of, you know, seems like he has showed up with us, and when they DO that, we save them, if they cross our paths here. There's something about his face...

Be more than tempted...

First off, two don't cost a whole lot more than one. I'll cover any adoption fees, we'll take up a collection amongst fiends (yes, fiends?)

There. Money problem solved.

Second, I can help you with the introducing to your current kitty, it will go better than you think, especially as you have a she, and he is a he. It works better than you think...

Think about it. Why else was he sent to us? And why did DH go all the way to check him out and see if he was part Bengal and want to help?????

(Fods, I am evil....)

At 17:31 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I will send you some streaks or cat food too.

At 17:32 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Steak. Not Streaks. No streaking, that you don't want to see.

At 17:32 Blogger Phiala said...

This American Life is about Penn State tonight. Drinking mostly - Penn State is the #1 party school this year.

At 18:02 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

7+++++++-

(Venus just typed that. Can only imagine what she means by it.)

At 18:03 Blogger Dragonsally said...

"Feed Me" is my guess.

At 18:08 OpenID MasterBillyBones said...

Pretty sure the entire collection is supposed to go on the Spooky Town shelf.

At 18:17 Blogger Cecily said...

My helping with "gentle nudging", we have had a great time introducing our new kitten to our cat. So much easier than a lot of people will tell you it is. :-)

At 18:18 Blogger Sharon K said...

OMG Breez,
that is just Awesome! Great work!
Sharon K

At 18:24 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Yeah, the food had been in the car, and was COLD. She was pretty upset. Still is.

I am now going to warm her food in the micro for her.

She keeps LOOKING at me and crying like the world is over. Tell me you could hold out????

At 18:31 Blogger dabbler said...

Oh my, I'm in trouble now. Lorraine, you are evil, in the best way! Daughter says her Dad is totally smitten. (His comment to me, "100 dollars isn't a lot for a good cat!") We've never paid for a cat in our lives!

Mind you, I haven't seen this fella yet, and will have to at least visit him before committing to anything.I should have a chance to go look at him tomorrow afternoon, or Tuesday. It has been my experience that when the household is ready, the cat appears. Maybe that's what this is.

No need for a collection...though I do appreciate the thought. Save it in case the kitty ends up needing extra vet expenses. That's the place the budget might have trouble.

And Beez, thats brilliant!

At 18:36 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Hurrah! They DO appear when the time is right. It is money, but think of it as a donation to rescue.

It makes such a difference.

It strikes me that Cherokee is a really good name for a horse too.....

Maybe we both get something?

At 18:50 Blogger Precision Grace said...

Yay for another kitty rescue!
(hopefully)


Oh and I forgot about the horsey with no name.
Maybe some inspiration can be found here: http://www.pyramidarabians.com/names/

At 19:59 Blogger Artful Lawyer said...

Whoa - Beez, your art rocks! That scrub brush should be thrilled at such an incarnation! Too cool.

At 20:13 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Beez: That was awesome!

FabLo: I will send you my address as soon as I double check what it is from my apartment complex. My apartment is 733, but I might have a separate mailbox number, or something. OMG! I am so excited! Once I get the brush and pan, I will take many pictures of me sweeping my various cats with them!!

Now I feel sorry for Skellie. Maybe I will send him something to accessorize with!

Oh, and my mom is very jealous about your horse. She used to have horses.

At 21:39 Blogger Madeleine Bouquet said...

Wow. After reading all 191 prior comments to mine, well, I'm left without anything creative to say. I did, however, enjoy reading all of those comments.(and I had to type something here so that I could tick the box)

At 21:44 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Don;t worry Madeleine, I can't think of anything to say half the time either.

Like now.

Bathed.

Going to bed.

Had to decide if I should go to bed with wet hair, or out in the morning with wet hair. Opting for out in the morning.

Mostly the blow dryer is beyond me and I fear it.

At 21:46 Blogger Fluffy said...

Every one of those art pieces was so cool. You fiends are a talented and twisted bunch and I lurve you all!

And no, I didn't have a martini tonight.

At 22:05 Blogger Jane said...

Catching up with all the comments - priceless!

Horrible gifts, really. I was once given some tampons as a gift from someone who had a hysterectomy and no longer needed them. Fine to pass things along. But she tried to turn it into a GIFT! I do think some people don't have the gift gene and might as well give it up.

Birthday dinner for Mom tonight, she is 81. 18 people, good thing we went out :-)

At 22:10 Blogger Jess said...

Neither can I, Madeline. Apart from to ask why Fluffy didn't have a martini.

Funny Fiends. Love these things people are making. (I want to photoshop googly eyeballs and big grins upon all the tools, and possibly make them dance. That's not terribly artsy, is it.)

Hmm. What else. Tree up. (Twinkly lights upon it but no ornaments yet.) Had mechanic fix puncture in tire after running over a screw. Worrying irrationally and obsessively that tire will suddenly become Unfixed in the night, because I'm like that.

And those are my thoughts for the evening. Now entering shutdown mode. Mini dustpan dreams to you all.

At 22:15 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Oddest thing. I'm not getting hubby's flu thing. It's just that every centimetre of my body hurts and I'm coughing. Ow.

At 22:24 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Soothing heat for Chantrelle.

Jane, you win the worst present contest that we weren't having. That is, ahhh, truly bad.

At 01:53 Blogger Na said...

Beez, *applause*

Jess, please do go for googly eyes! I would like to see that. But I think I'd have to only peek during daylight.

I fear the hairdryer too. The switch on ours mysteriously jammed so it only works on the high setting. But I don't want to bother purchasing a new one, I use it so infrequently, though it's useful then.

Jane, I think that takes the prize for horrid "gifts." I once rec'd an electric razor from my cousin's then-wife. Weird and prompted a "what's she trying to say, eh?!" But at least it was new.

Chantrelle - healing thoughts to you. Be well!

Woohoo - solstice in less than ten hours. Time to steal back the sun. Sorry, Sally! Promise to return it...

At 02:12 Blogger Dragonsally said...

noooo, I don't want shorter days. I like these long days. you can't have it back. *sulks*

hang on, can you send some snow to me for the next 2 days, when its meant to be sweltering? That would sweeten the exchange.

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