Guess What I Got For Xmas?
This would be my Christmas present from my Dad's wife, and as she signs it, apparently, from him too. No, not kidding. Yes, it does seem to be a FLOWERED mini-dustpan, calculator, tape measure and dish brush. (hasn't everyone always wanted a matching set?)
No, she is not senile. No, we are not estranged. And yes, they are quite well off as far as money goes.
So WHY would she (or anyone for that matter) send someone a FLOWERED mini dustpan, calculator, tape measure and dish brush???? Did I add, with the price stickers on? Did I add that she sent my two sisters exactly the same gift? Did I add that this was my entire gift?
I need to know, but am kind of afraid to ask.
Now, I don't expect a gift from them, I rarely see them and I sure don't care what someone spends on me, or even if they do. But this is weird.
Is it meant to be hurtful? Is it completely clueless, is this a women who is losing it? How do you see these, in presumably Walmart or the dollar store, and think "Ah-ha! No more shopping! I have found the perfect gift for my husband and I to give his daughters!"
She's big on thank you notes. Exactly how does this one GO?
Dear Dad's Wife,
Thank you SO much for the FLOWERED mini-dustpan, calculator, tape measure and dish brush! Exactly what I wanted! I really needed a mini dustpan for those little spills that are just too small for my regular one, or a little handy sweeping about, and the fact that the dish brush matches is just too perfect!
The calculator was an excellent call! I am SO tired of using my phone or computer, and had really wanted one, but never thought I could own a real one of my own, and my All In One complete tool set one had only the one tape measure, good to have another. I tend to have lots of measuring needs.
It was so good of you to take the time to pick out just the right thing and send it, and good thing you both insured it AND got delivery confirmation! Would have hated to miss it!
I need to purge this from my soul. I need this out of me. I need to UNDERSTAND. I need my real true Spirit back! In a word: I need ART. (OK, three words)
Print the picture or all pictures out, make me a collage, draw things on them, take a picture of my pictures with something awful of yours, or one of your dog or cat eating it. (or whatever) Stick knives in it. Do voodoo on them. Do a painting of them.
Send them to me. Please. Help. Me.
In the name of anyone and everyone who has ever received something like this.
For you see, the best one will be the winner. And the winner is going to get a lovely, really lovely, prize.
Love and Holidays,
PS Edited to Add...
Pictures from my Sister Tracy of HER Tape Measure and Scrub Brush...
PPS Edited to add....
My Sister Karen's sends a pic of HER present this year. (She includes the Mini Dust Pan and Broom the same women sent to us a few years back. I hadn't mentioned she had ALREADY sent one once before, as I wanted this to be believable)
And she figures out how to use the Scrub Brush properly...