Monday, November 22, 2010

Buried in the Basement, I Found: ME!

I've been cleaning out the Spooky House for the last week, getting rid of junk, delving into the dark corners, making space, and getting it to feel like ME again. I've been gone a lot the last few months, and things hadn't been getting done, and once that happens, you start to notice how many things have been building up for years. And you get to work. Kind of like getting FIT, in a way.

Along the way in the basement (Basement of DOOM I called it, and was convinced it was only a matter of time before the producers of HOARDERS gave me a call. Not any more, there goes my 15 minutes!) But along the way, I did find some treasures that had been buried, since I moved in four years ago, and perhaps, longer than that...

Pictures. Of me. Long ago.

I remember this day, yup, that's me there. I remember modeling some Leather Things for a friend shop, and being very unhappy about it. Because I thought I was far to fat to be dressed like this.

I kind of want to go back to that girl and shake her. That's HOT. If I do say so myself. Perspective is everything, eh?

Here's the Flash Girls at the Fine Line in Minneapolis, with drummer Nicole sitting in. Yes. Those are Ledarhosen. I need to find those. I am very much going to wear them again. Perhaps even playing with Emma again, I got t spend time with her in New Orleans last week, not close to nearly enough, but I know very much that we both would love, once more, to play some music.

Which reminds me, found THREE cassettes of The Return of Pansy Smith And Violet Jones. Unopened, wrapped still. I am thinking one of them is going up for sale, with the monies going to Great Lake Bengal Rescue. This is WAY out of print and not coming back (Ones first cd should never come back. They come back to haunt you, and not in the nice way) You can download it on Amazon, but this is the real thing. Only cd we ever did a cassette for, and even at the time, almost didn't, they were so out.

My music career DID miss LP's, thank you very much!

I don't remember much about this photo shoot, for the Flash Girls, me and Emma Bull. I seem to have a lot of photos. Can't recall where they were taken, but they were done by Beth Gwinn. Loved that dress. Again tho, wished I were prettier. What kind of brain did I have, and what the heck was wrong with it???

I wonder, now, at this lesson. Didn't know what trouble really was, didn't know what I had. Now I do. Strange to go back and look at your younger self tho. I wish I could tell her the things I know now. It's an interesting thought about NOW too. Will my older self be happy with THIS self? (there's that Six Weeks In The Future Me again...)

I'm going to look in the mirror every day and ask it the QUESTION and I am darn sure I know the ANSWER!

(Yes, you do to, it starts out : Mirror Mirror on the wall....)

Love this shot! Didn't even know it was being taken, after a long day playing at the Renn Fest, counting out band money. I am beginning to understand why people said I had GREAT tits. (Opps, sorry, went off a bit there)

I think everyone ought to post a totally embarrassing ROCK STAR photo at least once. This is me and Lojo Russo in our band MOGG. MOGG only played once, for nearly 2 hours. We did four songs. The rest of the time it was sort of, er, comedy? We had a Butler who came and went with drinks, we had toys for the audience, we made them do things, we'd start songs and go off in the middle of them.

Taped it too. And SOLD the tapes.

Audience loved it. Those who were there will never forget MOGG.

MOGG may do a brief Tour this summer. Or fall. Or spring. MOGG is not organized. Nor will it ever be. We want to see Derby, and play some shows. That's the only agenda.

It could happen.

Count yourself lucky if you happen to be there.

I'll be wearing Ledarhosen.

Love and Perspective,


At 18:05 Blogger DataGoddess said...

Just because it has to be said:

Lorraine, NICE TITS!! They go very well with your NICE ASS!!

At 18:06 Blogger EmilyOliveP said...

Haha, I love you, Quiche. You're hot always. I so often think I'm super fat and just lately am beginning to feel really beautiful. You're beautiful no matter whether you're modeling, dancing, singing, or being mutilated by Bengals.

At 18:23 Blogger dabbler said...

Love these! And I so want to go back and tell my younger self the same thing. Girl, you're beautiful!
Then AND now. Don't ever forget it.

At 18:27 Blogger One Sock Short said...

I love de-cluttering. Sometimes I think I get stuff just for the pleasure of getting rid of it later. (Remind me to find a less expensive way to get that fix.) But no amount of going through stuff will unearth many photos of me. I so rarely allowed it.

I'd best avoid picking up the talking-to-my-younger-self theme. That didn't go over so well on Twitter. Why are we so hard on ourselves?

Emily, that's good to hear. Because you *are* beautiful!

At 18:38 Blogger Pi R Squared said...

Lorraine, I think everyone will say the same...but I always dreaded having pictures taken of myself as well because I thought I was too fat...and when I look back on them ...I was so slender! That old me was totally nuts and never saw how pretty I actually was.
I believe you're right about looking in the mirror and realizing what you have now and appreciating it. Even if we are not at our optimum FIT level can only help us achieve if we begin loving ourselves now...for what we are and w/ all our flaws.
Oh...and bodacious ta-tas! (I haven't said that in years!) or Hey! Nice tits!

At 19:04 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

As a tit girl myself, I have to also say, NICE TITS!

Although, that's something I noticed when you were visiting in New Orleans. And, yes. You must tour and bring your tours here. Also, you should have Jason Webley play a special set during your New Orleans show. That's what all the best bands do.

At 20:52 Blogger AletaMay said...

Beautiful. Then and now.

Perspective is an amazing thing.

It seems that part of the lesson is that we need to live now, whatever flaws we may or may not have. Every moment, every time in our lives, every version of ourselves is precious.

I have that same experience so often. Here is a photo (I think it is public but it is on Facebook, posted by the other person in the photo) that makes me think/feel some of the same things you are talking about here.

At 20:56 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Aw, DG beat me to it!

Now I know why I could find that CD on itunes - I was looking in the wrong place. *headdesk*

And yes, I've had that experience more than once, looking at old photos - remembering how I thought I was fat at the time and thinking Woah there, you were hot.

At 21:31 Blogger EmilyOliveP said...

I figure, eh, kinda nice to be alive after making myself sick with skinny. I mean better to be alive and moving and doing stuff than ... doing other stuff. Like being hungry just because it feels good. I don't know, I feel like shit some days and then others I just figure I may as well live. Almost didn't. So there's something, right? Right.

At 23:17 Blogger ariandalen said...

Aleta, you have to log into Facebook to see your picture.

There are not many pictures of me after high school. There are some on the web of me in eighth grade in my school's annual on, but I think you have to be a member to see them.

If you want to hear me ramble on about weight and me, look here. Far too long to put in comments, plus, I have my own blog for that. And I may post more tomorrow that got left out.

LiEm, we each feel like shit some days. It's when the "some days" become "most days" that we need to drag our butts to the doctor and say, "Help." Yes, easier said than done, just like FIT.

At 23:41 Blogger Chantrelle said...

As usual, very well put m'lady.

I never had the problem of being fat...or thinking I was fat...but plenty of times I thought i was ugly and dorky and "nobody likes me", etc. That stems from my stupid hometown "popular crowd" making fun of me for years and no boys in my town ever asking me out. I didn't like them either but I wanted them to like me so I could reject *them*! Looking back it was because I was different which was a good thing. I knew I didn't want to be like them but I didn't know how to be like me.

Time makes some things so much clearer.

I was looking for embarrassing photos (plenty of which can be found on my facebook page) and I found this one, also on facebook, that is basically what I looked like this year when I dressed as Lamia at HOTR but it's me at age 18.

At 23:50 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Totally off-topic.

You know, I always thought I had a pretty good phone voice, but recently people keep thinking I said "Shelley" Hrumph.

At 00:08 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Silly. You remind me of my mother: she would not pack a bathing suit while in holiday as a teenager or young adultbecause she was fat. HA! Pictures show she was gorgeous.

Great pictures, great tits, I am sure fabulosu ass too.

At 00:10 Blogger Chantrelle said...

I was heading to bed early but started reading comments and articles about our friend Jacques who died Friday night. It wasn't unexpected but I'd come to think of him as immortal...a superhero really.

This is his first book, an amazing autobiographical tale. I'm going to buy a ton of them to give to people. I think that's the best way to honor him.

At 00:34 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I get "Lindsey" and "Lindy" a lot.

At 00:58 Blogger Marjorie said...

Drive by tick

(PS Nice Tits!)

At 05:32 Blogger EmilyOliveP said...

School time!

At 06:53 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, I LOVE this post. Seriously. These pictures? Totally frakkin' awesome.

It's funny, because I look back at pictures of me in high school (where I swore I was fat, not pretty), and think: what the hell was I thinking?

Why the crap are we (you, me, women in general) so damn hard on ourselves? It's crazy.

You, my dear Q, are absolutely wonderful and gorgeous. I love the you played at the Ren Fair, which I adore. I haven't been in years, though. Next summer, for sure...

Thank you for sharing this. I find that I always learn something from reading your blogs -- even if it's just to look at something from a new angle. That is valuable. :-)

At 07:35 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I am glad that it's instructional and not just entertaining!

Finding it hard to get motivated today. I know I will be excited about riding once I am out there and doing it, but now bed seems so much more attractive.

That's why I don't workout my FIT on my own. I would never DO it.

Three Bengals are curled by my fire. All fed. For the moment.

At 08:01 Blogger Jane said...

It seems like a theme, looking back at photos of our younger selves and realizing we actually looked so much better than we felt at the time.

Steve has a photo of me in his bathroom - partially nude, I was about 24ish, waist-length hair - I seriously wonder why I felt so unattractive...I remember the day when the photograph was taken - a photographer friend of ours was taking nude photos of me, my boyfriend, also a photographer, was taking photos (took the one I still have), another friend was hanging out to watch (never miss the chance to look at a naked woman I think was his plan)and I was naked and fine with it, though still no feeling beautiful...

Haven't thought of that day in a long time...

I always learn something new here, gain some different perspective, there is laughter and sometimes tears. All wonderful stuff and am glad I found this place.

At 08:25 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Wow, Sharon, that is a level of comfort with oneself (and yet not feeling beautiful? - how strange our minds are) that I know I will never reach. I will be happy just to get strong and healthy enough that I can believe in an active and independent old age.

At 08:53 Blogger Unknown said...

I love the photos - awesome and HOTT.

I look back to myself, thinner then and thinking I was fat and gawky (OK, I may have been gawky) and wish I'd had more FUN - maybe I didn't have to be so worried and serious all the time.

At 08:55 Blogger Jane said...

I was surrounded with people who loved me, I felt safe and secure and while I didn't feel beautiful, they thought I was.

The photographer is long gone from my life, the BF, I know where he is and we keep up through mutual friends, the onlooker friend is still v much a part of my life and he is the one who introduced me to Steve!

I like your goal - I have it, too!

At 10:38 Blogger gaypet said...

Ah, yes. Those pictures of my skinny self when I thought I was fat. UGH! I have those too.

You were beautiful then and you are beautiful now. I hope you found your motivation and have a good ride. I found my motivation this morning at the bottom of my 4th cup of coffee. So off I go.

At 12:47 Blogger Martha W. said...

Those are great pictures! They show that you can be beautiful without being wiry thin. We are so used to seeing only skinny people, that a picture of a more rounded person might look more beautiful for being rare. You don't need to be skinny to look confident. I hope you find the lederhosen; at least you found the picture.

At 12:48 Blogger Jess said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 12:49 Blogger Jess said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 12:53 Blogger Jess said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 12:57 Blogger Jess said...

We all have some version that picture, don't we? I'm eleven in mine, with huge hair, and a soccer uniform. I was 106 pounds. I hated my thighs and my little pot belly. My 6th-grade gym teacher tutted when I got on the scale for the annual "President's Fitness" weigh-in. (Remember Reagan's fitness program for schools, which didn't actually result in fit kids?)

We think the numbers are a meaningful measure of our ability, attractiveness, and worth because someone taught us they are. We let the bean counters into our heads. I thought I was fat at 106, at 118, at 124, 135, 140. My stomach's never been flat, I went up two bra sizes, I can't see my feet for the reach of my tits. Where does it stop? When do I get to feel okay about myself? Yeah, the numbers can become problematic. But as long as there's a bean counter in my head, the real problem is not the numbers.

If I'm honest: I hate all this stuff. People treat weight loss and fitness like a race. But it's not. Suppose I get back to that distant, magical 124: what would I "win", exactly? A smaller bra? Size eight pants? Well hoo-fucking-ray! When I'm dead, they can carve "36C" on my headstone, and it'll be true!

None of which is to say that I don't want everyone here to feel like a winner, all the time. But whatever the numbers are, whenever someone is compared to a photograph, there's only now, and oneself. The voice that tells us we don't measure up doesn't go away because we reach a number, or squeeze into an article of skimpy clothing. Feeling like a winner all the time, it seems to me, takes more work than that.

</giant rant>

At 12:58 Blogger Jess said...

Oh, fucking hell. It kept telling me it wasn't publishing. Sorry, guys. One of those was enough. You didn't need four.

At 13:05 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Well, at least it was a REALLY good comment. I mean, what if it had been a stupid one? I didn't mind seeing it 4 times. Thanks Jess.

You are very wise!

At 13:09 Blogger Jess said...

The really embarrassing bit is that anyone who's been subscribing to comments will see that I actually kept editing it down. Shit. :D

At 13:12 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Yes. Like me. I read them all. The first was the best one. Take THAT! HA!

At 13:16 Blogger Jess said...

Oh, yeah, hang on to that. It'll be worth a lot of money one day. WHEN I WIN MY SIZE EIGHT PANTS.

At 13:22 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Each iteration was worth the read, Jess! "It's about being healthy, living well, not getting out of breath from walking two blocks." That's exactly it. As I've worked on being more healthy, I've also gotten smaller. But it's the first part that's motivating me. A lifetime of not being the "right size" never motivated me enough. Wanting to be strong and active, and not treat food like a drug--that's what finally got me going. That and the inspiration and encouragement I've found here.

At 13:23 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I'll see your pants and raise you Ledarhosen!

At 13:34 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Very well said Jess...all 4 times!! :)

Is it weird that I feel guilty for never fighting my weight? Don't worry though, I have plenty of other demons.

At 13:36 Blogger Jess said...

Sexy lederhosen! Woo woo!

Just keep telling yourselves, ladies: There was only ever one version of that comment. Which one I leave to you. Pick your favorite. BUT THERE WAS EVER ONLY ONE.

At 13:43 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Why are you leaving?

At 13:50 Blogger Hellie said...

Well I arrived too late so I believe there was only the one comment Jess. And it's my favourite :o)

I have photos like that too. I was at my thinnest in my early twenties, and also at my unhappiest. I'd say the 2 were linked. Now I'm bigger, but about a million times happier - more secure, more confident and I'm probably healthier - I certainly exercise more than I did then and I take better care of myself. I've just taken up belly dancing; joining in with a room full of women of all shapes and sizes shaking their booty is very life affirming. And great fun!

At 14:22 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Who is leaving? No one leaves!!

At 14:35 Blogger Jess said...

Calm down. I only left temporarily, to buy hand cream. I don't believe anyone else is leaving. Lurking, perhaps, but not leaving. All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well, as someone said, in some unrelated context.

So when MOGG comes to Pittsburgh, Quiche, you know you've got a place to stay, right?

Also, I love Annie's Organic Mac and Cheese. That is all.

At 14:48 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Hey, I completely sympathize with the "I can't see my feet for the reach of my tits" situation. Which might explain why I am not terribly into shoes.

At 14:50 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I wasn't leaving! I only just got there, having finished my word count for the day.

At 14:51 Blogger Chantrelle said...

I guess that's why I *am* into shoes!! (Ben was doing a decode-this-message puzzle where the symbols used for decoding were shoes...he said, "MOM! You'll like this puzzle! It has shoes!!")

At 14:52 Blogger Chantrelle said...

I'm supposed to be packing the car for our trip 5 hours north to mushroom hunt. Funny thing is my parents are coming and staying at our house for thanksgiving while we're gone! :P

At 15:00 Blogger Jess said...

Hey, that's right: it's mushroom time. The chanterelles are in at Whole Foods! I thought of you when I saw them. :D

At 15:03 Blogger Chantrelle said...

People *buy* mushrooms? How weird! ;-)

At 15:04 Blogger Jess said...

People hunt them in the woods? Freaks! ;P

At 15:13 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Those little buggers run and hide from hunters...they're sneaky! It's a sport I tell you! (and as close to a sport as you'll ever find me!)

At 15:20 Blogger Jess said...

Hehehe. I am now picturing little CGI mushrooms running from you, on their teeny fungoid feet.

At 15:30 Blogger Chantrelle said...

I do play a lot of Super Mario with ben.

At 15:31 Blogger DataGoddess said...

People EAT fungus?? How very strange!

Today we got an early Christmas present - a Blu-ray player. We decided we needed it to help lessen the stress we've both been under.

At 15:32 Blogger Precision Grace said...

Wonderful post, wonderful photos and wonderful comments.

Here's my funny story:
I was always on the chubby side, kids used to call me Miss Piggy (oh ya, I kicked ass too) but was always told I was cute even though I never really felt cute or pretty or beautiful.
Then in my early twenties, someone lent me Jane Fonda aerobics tape and I was without a job and short of money for food so I ended up working out 1-2 hours every day. After a few months of this I ended up at my lowest weight ever but I was very happy thinking - At Last I am Thin! - that is until I saw some photos a friend and I took of ourselves where it totally scared me how thin I looked. I just looked...breakable. Didn't like that at all.

I've gone up and down with weight since and looked well and not so well but I have never felt 'beautiful'.

Beautiful is some ephemeral feeling that comes from the brain and has nothing to do with what one actually looks like.
It might have something to do with self confidence, possibly, and accepting yourself and loving yourself entirely and fully.

I don't know. I don't think I need to fell beautiful or think I am beautiful as long as I feel happy enough with who and what I am. Or, maybe that is what being beautiful is all about..who knows...

Love on all your beautiful faces.

At 15:32 Blogger Precision Grace said...


At 15:33 Blogger Chantrelle said...

You are all so don't crawl through the rainy forest digging under leaves and pine needles for your food?! What is wrong with you freaks?!

I honestly never buy mushrooms except for shiitakes. I hate the mushrooms you can buy. But nothing tastes like porcinis sliced and grilled over mesquite. It's like mushroom bacon.

At 15:42 Blogger Jess said...

Haha! Oh, Chantrelle. In the post-apocalyptic wasteland, I totally want you leading my ragtag group of cannibal hunter-gatherers. We'll feast like kings! And the wine pairings will be absolutely sublime.

The shrooms we get at the store here are pretty good, actually; they're farmed, but very local. Good enough for me!

At 17:43 Blogger Jane said...

Jess, some rants are worth repeating - evidently ;-)

And I agree with you anyway - I have a friend who shops for shoes, says 8 and half for the shoe size and then says I'm not vain about my shoe size, I just want them to fit and be comfortable. It's obviously not just a number for her, it's a number with *meaning*. Too bad...

And yum on the mushrooms - ::drools::

At 17:45 Blogger EmilyOliveP said...

Yo Jess. You betta realize how much you rock, lady. I loved that rant. SO MUCH. JK Rowling offered a more benign rant on weight a few years ago. And yours compares intensely ...

At 20:06 Blogger Jess said...

Crap! I take it all back, then.


At 20:13 Blogger Siri said...

Congratulations to our Nathalie who has her 50K words done for Nano. And it is only the twenty third.

Have you written "The End" yet?

I still think I should get a Flash Girl's tape, because I asked so nicely.

At 20:15 Blogger Pi R Squared said...

Jess--that was awesome! 2 thumbs up!

At 20:43 Blogger gaypet said...

Jess. Rocks.

Then end.

At 20:49 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Even the bath, the lovely hot bath did not help. I am all done for today, got nothing left. Going to the lovely warm bed.

Siri, I would so give you one because you did ask so nicely, but one is mine, one is Emmas and one is for the Bengals.

I'll send you one of the Beth Gwinn photos tho, if you like, I found 6 of those...

Anyone who is up at 6, I'll see you then.

At 20:49 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...


At 20:52 Blogger Fluffy said...

I organized my bookshelves today. Because I'm having 14 people for dinner Thursday, and I say if the bookshelves look bad, everything looks bad. And they look GOOD.

I love the pics. Lorraine, the photo of you in the leathers - wow!

What so many of you have said reminds me of my mom - she was curvy and stunning in her teens and always thought she was unattractive. I never understood it - I remember saying to her , "But LOOK at you, how beautiful you were!" And she said she just thought she was too fat.

I was 15 lbs. overweight like my mom (other girls would have said I was way more than 15 over) in most of high school and college, but still felt good-looking (if I was dressed.) Then I gained 40 lbs. after getting married and have been struggling with it since.

I'm glad we can talk about this stuff.

At 20:53 Blogger gaypet said...

Sweet dreams!

At 21:16 Blogger Dragonsally said...

I'm glad we can talk about it too - an issue that seems to haunt so many of us.
I was called Sally Jelly Belly at primary school because, shock horror, my stomach wasn't flat or concave. Thing is, even when I had an eating disorder and only weighed six and a half stone I still had an itty bitty pot tummy.
Now I just live with my weight, can't change much about it because of medication and chronic illness.

At 21:27 Blogger AletaMay said...

Jess, you so totally rock. X4 Srsly.

There are many things to say and not really the focus or energy tonight to say them. But I'll try...

I think there are all these things we all want to accomplish in our lives -- stuff about our bodies and our bank accounts and "making it" in whatever it is we dream of making it - in.

AND somewhere there is a fine line between setting goals about all these things and pursuing those goals with everything we've got AND learning to live content in each moment as it is, as we are.

This discussion is bringing up a lot of interesting issues for me. I may be motivated to write about them on my LJ, which I have been sadly neglecting for far too long.

At 22:43 Blogger Ms T said...

Catching up rather's been that kind of week round here.

Sally, if you think being called Shelley was bad, you can imagine how my mate Honiana felt when, after carefully spelling out her name (people tend to think she's named after that place in the Solomons), the person she was talking to said: "Yes, that's how I was going to spell it, Susan." WTF?

Back to the main topic. I've always been overweight and probably always will be, but I've had that experience of looking back at old photos and thinking "You thought you were big then? Hoo boy...". That said, I'm planning to pick up the pace (I've been very slack) around Christmas. It's summer here, so Christmas means berry fruit by the bucketload and interesting salads rather than heavy fare. Yum! It also means the gym won't be as crowded. So the timing's not as daft as it sounds. As much as I would like to be smaller - finding clothes I like is a pain in the arse - realisticly I know that I should move around more for the sake of my health.

I also wonder if some of my mother's issues with my weight were based on how she felt about my father. I look just like him (deathly pale and well...solid) and nothing like her (darker and about half the size), and I think that may have grated.

At 22:47 Blogger Siri said...

Q, I'll take anything you want to send me. Not saying I won't bid for the Bengals, but I'll take any and all gifts.

I'd take anything from anyone. I've been told I'm cheap, but not easy, but I can be had.

Night, Fiendom.

At 22:54 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Ms T - WTF indeed? They sound nothing alike. *scratches head*

At 00:01 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Siri, The end is not written yet (except for the first bit of it in Chapter 1) but I know where this story is going and how it ends. I think. Then the story might ddecide otherwise and weave some type of silly love story to try an have a happy ending. I am not having any of that nonsense but its a sly one. I am sure it will try.

At 08:06 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Good Morning!

My Kelli Bickman Bengal Tree painting is going to be prints, notebooks aprons cards and such!!!

With 50% of the profits going to Bengal Rescue, other half to the artist.

This is very exciting!!!!!

I will of course be letting you know as soon as it goes live!

Rats. Very cold here. Going to be icky. I am riding this morning and very determined to skate tonight, with the worky bits in between.

At 08:31 Blogger Phiala said...

Good morning.

I see I have missed all kinds of interesting things by being away from the computer and crazy busy.

You all are a very wise and thoughtful bunch, in case you weren't sure. My food issues are not so much actual - I eat reasonably well, get reasonable amounts of exercise, and am the same size as I was in college - but mental.

I feel like people are judging me for what I eat, particularly if it is something unhealthy. I know that nobody pays any attention, and yet. It doesn't actually change my eating habits, but makes them more stressful. And like so many other things, the more overwhelmed I am by life in general, the more likely this is to be a problem.

Lemony Snicket wrote a NaNo pep talk explaining why you should quit writing your novel, and it is the most wonderful thing. It is not on the website yet, but will be.

At 08:32 Blogger Phiala said...

Blogger seems to think that I may not check the little box, so I am trying to explain to it more firmly.

At 08:37 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Phiala, what you said reminded me of something I can't believe I forgot... Jess, I learned a lot about healthy eating while I was with you and Mr. Jess. Thank you for that.

Oh, and I heard a great quotation last night. "Good judgment mostly comes from experience. And experience mostly comes from bad judgment."

At 08:40 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

It's almost like the gym, Mistress, I hear form a lot of people saying they could never go to the gym because they were too out of shape and afraid of people judging them.

And trust me when I tell you, NO ONE is looking.

It's a good time of year I think, to clean out both houses and one MIND, of all the things that are cluttering the place UP.

I'm getting ride of JUNK. In both places.

At 09:31 Blogger Cecily said...

I haven't had any time to read this post yet. Life has exploded for us in the last three days...I can not put to words the amount of stress and heaviness we are under. I will be back to read though! <3

At 09:33 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I should stop writing? Oh great. Then I can give myself a holiday (apart from the fact that there has been - and will be - no time for writing today).

At 09:34 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Well, I AM checking out the guys' butts at the gym, but I am not being judgemental about them (how could I ever?)

At 10:13 Blogger Jess said...

Well Nathalie, that's just art appreciation! Absolutely nothing wrong there. And you're rather an expert in that particular, erm, genre. The bum genre.

OSS - Really? Well that's good! :) Personally, I dunno-- we eat a lot of cheese. But I figure enough wine will pretty much cancel out anything.

I liked Phiala's philosophy of cheese, which she told us while she was here: I don't think cheese is really that bad for you. Now, from anyone else, I'd be a bit skeptical, but Phiala is in the agricultural sciences. She's just been put in charge of a big project for the whole area east of the Mississippi. When she says cheese is okay,* I believe her. She is a scientist! She knows what she's doing. Thus do I judge her.

My food philosophy is this:

1. Everything is better with wine. Wine is a health food. (So is chocolate.)
2. Fresh stuff is better than stuff from a box.
3. Cheese is okay.*
4. Trans fats are bad. They come straight from Satan's arse.
5. You can eat Nice Things.

And really you can skip the first four and go straight to number five. I like cooking and eating tasty things. So why shouldn't I? No one has to live on Weight Watchers entrees and rice cakes to eat healthy, and meals shouldn't be miserable. So there.

At 10:19 Blogger Phiala said...

My philosophy on food is only slightly more complicated than what Jess described.

Eat lots of different things, and not much heavily processed food, and not too much of any one thing. Eat things you like. Wine is good for you. Chocolate is good for you. Cheese is good for you. Vegetables are good for you. Fruit is good for you. Meat is good for you. Eggs are good for you. NONE of them are good for you if you eat too much of them. "Too much" varies by person. Weight Watchers entrees are probably not good for you, but like anything else okay in moderation.

Pay attention to what you eat and how it makes you feel. If you don't like the latter, adjust the former.

At 10:51 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Thought everyone might enjoy this poster.

At 11:07 Blogger Jess said...

I did enjoy that. Ta dear.

At 11:08 Blogger Cecily said...

OK finally got to read the post. I always find it interesting when people would like to tell their younger selves something are would want to relive a part of their past. I am a firm believer I am who I am now because of who i was then, and if I were to go back and change anything then I wouldn't be as awesome as I am now. ;-)

OSS- I wish life could be as simple as the poster. Sometimes things happen to and around you that you can't just change and can't just BE happy, no matter how much one might want to.

Which brings me back to firing November. This is the third November in a row with death, and the second in the last three years when that death was a suicide. I am trying with everything I have to be strong. It's hard and there isn't anything I can change to make it better...just have to keep on keeping on. Thanks to all the kind words from Fiends on FB. It really does help.

At 11:18 Blogger dabbler said...


I'm so sorry! Huge hugs being sent your way.

Sock, I love the poster...want one for my wall at the office. It's sort of distilled therapy, that!

And the grounded, food is good, the less chemically-enhanced-the-better sums up the way I eat, or at least the way I try to.

At 11:21 Blogger dabbler said...

Won't have time for this tomorrow...

Dear Lorraine and Fiends,

I am immensely thankful for the joy, sadness, wisdom and outright belly laughs we've shared over the past year. Thanks you all, every one. Thank you especially, of course, to our fearless leader. Among other things, I stayed for the Quiche.

Love to you all, quiet and chatty,


At 11:24 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Oh Cecily, I am so sorry to hear that. I wish for you all the strength you need to keep on, and some source of comfort and emotional rest.

And, no, it's not that simple. But when I saw it this morning, it was a good reminder to myself to keep trying to do something. Personally, I need a lot of chemical assistance, of the Rx variety. Accepting that is my "do something" lately. And for me "happy" isn't "cheerful", simply a state of "it's ok, I can do this".


At 11:52 Blogger Cecily said...

I didn't mean to belittle the beauty of that poster I have in the past seen it and had it be very helpful...I'm just in a really rough place right now.

Love to all Fiends!

At 12:23 Blogger Beez said...

You gorgeous woman- at all times.

Also, funnier than hell, which is even better.

I don't think any of us had a really good perspective on ourselves when we were callow youths.
I LIKE getting older, I keep getting more relaxed about stuff like this. Body's fine, still works well and gets me where I'm going.

(still no internets at home. This sucks in so SO many ways).

I'm with Phiala on the eating- there are no (or very very few) BAD foods. Moderation and portioning is important.

Not sweating the small stuff is equally important.

At 14:18 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...


At 14:36 Blogger EmilyOliveP said...

Hey Cecily, I'm sorry.

At 16:08 Anonymous Lysandwr said...


Yup, it's being a hard November. Actually, a rotten semester all around.

But then you look at a friend's blog for the first time in too long, and see such beautiful things!

That pic in leathers--isn't it one of the modeling series I took of you in Arizona? Was just thinking of those the other day; I wanted to pull them out and scan them for you, but just couldn't find them.

You were and are always a beauty--it's in the eyes and the soul, you know. I fretted so much about being good enough to take a picture that showed how gorgeous you looked in those outfits!

Anyway, hug the Bengals for me. Everyone else, hug your special friends and loved ones....tell them you love them at the drop of a hat. You know why....

At 16:12 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Lys! You took those?! I couldn't remember who did! Those are so cool.

Been missing you m'dearie!! Come by more often!

At 16:38 Blogger Dragonsally said...

LYS - I miss you!

Cecily what have I missed? Oh god sweetie , the hugest of hugs for you.

OSS - I rather like that poster too. I've totally forgotten what else I was going to say. Just a little brain fried here.

At 18:11 Blogger Phiala said...

A friend of mine acquired a Bengal by mistake but is loving it, and six months later has decided that the first one needs company.

She's in the Buffalo, NY area and is looking for a rescue.

At 18:15 Blogger Jane said...

Cecily - I hope Nov gets better for you but OMG that sucks :-( Not that I wouldn't have sent my younger self a message (just to help smooth her way), but I also have the thought that I like where I am and everything that has happened to me and everything I've done got me here.

Lys - glad you looked in - hi! And you're the leather photographer? Those are great!

As for food, I like Phiala's philosophy and love the list Jess posted!

Linda - good poster. Works well as a reminder.

When I give thanks, I give thanks for all of you :-)

At 18:15 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I can help with that, can you ask her to email me??

At 18:20 Blogger Phiala said...

Will do. Or just did, actually.

At 18:21 Blogger Phiala said...

Oh, and missed some things in the middle, most especially:

Cecily, that is so hard. *hugs* and good thoughts for you and friends/family.

At 20:15 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Magic's Daddy!!!! And a Leopard in the House...New post is UP!!!

At 20:20 Blogger AletaMay said...

Happy Thanksgiving Eve Fiends! I am a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to Thanksgiving. Let me share the sacred music of the day with you all. It's on YouTube, which did not used to be part of the traditional Thanksgiving Eve celebration, but now is.

At 20:30 Blogger Cecily said...

Thank you everyone for the love. It means so much.

Also, (((Lsy))) so good to see you again. I hope you are well.

At 01:08 Anonymous werefrog said...

I will never forget the first time I read the famous essay "Advice like youth, probably wasted on the young" (often retitled "wear sunscreen" I totally related, and now, reading your blog, it is just too apt not to share this small section with you:

"Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine."

Love the photos! Thanks for sharing them, and congratulations on the clearing!

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