Friday, February 11, 2011

Bengal Merch! And a bit about Fear....

I've been wanting to mention a few of the beyond wonderful things that have popped up recently in support of Great Lakes Bengal Rescue. First off, you are the BEST Fiends ever. And I love you beyond. Beyond anything. It means so much that you care enough to help with a cause I am so fully committed to.

First Erin Underwoods Poetry for Cats.

And next, The Night Garden Project, a group of artists donating time and work with 100% of the proceeds going to GLBR. Here's the shop, with my Magic, himself an F1 rescue via GLBR, on a mug!!!

And the portrait Kelli Bickman did of all five of my Bengals, Bengal Tree, is now available in prints, cards, bags and such, with a percentage going to rescue as well.

Thank you. From my heart. Words can't cover how grateful I am.

The other thing I wanted to mention was I got a letter today from a girl talking about how brave I was, writing about getting FIT, going for it, and all the things I've been doing. She said it had inspired her, and I am glad because that is half the purpose in writing about it. (the other half being, I need to keep telling myself things) But, I need to stress, being brave doesn't mean one is not scared. Exactly the opposite.

Me? Scared? Oh yeah. All the time. What if I fail? Hello? Skating Derby? Riding Dressage shows on my teachers horse? Meeting so many new people face to face and telling them, yes, I can be that good? Telling the entire world I can DO this and get FIT? It's a lot, and it's a whole lot of scary.

I have to tell myself every day and often: "Suck it up, Quiche Medeadly, you're doing this" Being brave isn't not being scared. It's being scared and doing it anyway. And if it were easy, what's the POINT? It doesn't matter what you feel inside, as long you do it anyway and smile like, yes, that was the plan all along. Know that you rock. Even if you don't believe it.

It reminded me of this picture Amanda Palmer posted sometime back, and a phrase I've taken on and play on repeat in my head. Repeat it often. It may help. The caption is hers and it helped me.

"Fuck Fear. I rock on purpose all the time."
Amanda Palmer

Yeah.

Love, Bengals and Brave,
Lorraine

71 Comments:

At 10:28 Blogger Cecily said...

Bravery is all about having fear and doing something anyway. If you aren't afraid then there is nothing to be brave about is there?

Rock the fuck on Medeadly, Rock the fuck on.

At 10:29 Blogger vampi said...

rock!!!

\m/

At 10:30 Blogger Mary Gaughan said...

Amen, sister. I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says Do Something That Scares You Every Day and I use that as a mantra. We need an Amanda Rock Every Day magnet. (Right now, I'm afraid I'm going to eat my daughter's leftover cinnamon roll. But I am strong and fearless! I am powerful, sentient being and you little cinnamon roll will go in the TRASH.) Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

At 10:34 Blogger Jane said...

Rock is awesome.

At 10:43 Blogger Jess said...

And of course I have to link this, now.

I'm really grateful to you, Medeadly, and to everyone else here for supporting and participating in The Night Garden Project, and for helping me make it happen. On many levels it's the scariest thing I've ever done-- because I didn't know whether I could pull it off, because a lot of the time I'm not sure I am pulling it off, because it involves talking to people, organising people, and approaching Somebodies who might well question my Nobodiness in order to ask their generosity. There's always that moment where I think, This will end badly, with me in front of a roomful of people who are pointing and laughing, and not in a fun way.

And of course what I've learned is that I am not alone in it, that we can pull it off, and what's more that people are quite happy to talk about it, get involved, and make stuff happen. I've met and worked with many, many cool people doing this thing whom I wouldn't have met otherwise. If I hadn't sucked it up, been brave, and risked making a complete tit of myself, I'd never have known what I could do, or what was possible. So yes, one does fucking well rock into Mordor, actually.

</Oprah moment>

At 11:18 Blogger Phiala said...

This is me, saying something insightful.

Except right now the only insights I have are mathy, and you probably don't want them.

At 11:21 Blogger Vinity said...

Rock on!

At 11:24 Blogger Jess said...

Give us an equation for ROCK, Phi.

At 11:25 Blogger Cecily said...

All I can think is "Pi R Squared"

At 11:47 Blogger Phiala said...

Sorry, can't do that. But I can give you two separate things.

Equation: K <- lm(log(as.vector(x[slope >= targetslope])) ~ log(as.vector(IL[slope >= targetslope])/cos(sunzenith)))

(copied out of the stats code I'm working on right now)

and ROCK.

At 11:52 Blogger Jess said...

Hot damn, lady! You should have posted the pics of his ass as well.

At 11:54 Blogger Phiala said...

There is ass in the first one, but I didn't post the full-size version.

I'll see what I can do. :)

At 12:11 Blogger Marjorie said...

Indeed.
Fuck fear & rock on purpose and don't listen to the voice in your head that says it will all end with people pointing & laughing.
Words to live by.

At 12:14 Blogger Cecily said...

*sidenote* When I sneeze, there is a muscle in my shoulder that get's pulled and screams in pain. I can not figure out why. Can one of the various hot stalker chicks come in and rub this thing out? kthanxbye

At 12:26 Blogger Jess said...

Tell you what: not to sound like the poster child for taking up yoga or anything, but Eagle Pose has done wonders for my neck and shoulders. Though I do half-eagle: meaning you stand with your feet planted hip-width apart, as opposed to crossing over, and after you lift the arms, you tuck your chin and roll down. Once you're bending over, you keep your arms entwined but allow them to hang a bit more towards the floor for a minute (gives you a nice stretch in your shoulder blades); then release and roll back up. Do that once on each side.

At 12:31 Blogger Jane said...

Jess, nice version! I'll try it right now.

At 12:36 Blogger Cecily said...

Ooo That one looks tricky! I'm such a beginner with Yoga. I do love the Sun Salutation though, so invigorating. :-)

At 12:38 Blogger Phiala said...

Eagle is the best I've found for stretching that annoying place inside the shoulderblades.

Even without the leg part, with just the arms, it's an excellent stretch. And with just the arms you can do it while sitting at your desk working.

At 12:39 Blogger Phiala said...

PS I have to admit, when I do the full version I can never remember which arm/leg combo goes which way. I figure that as long as I'm balanced it will all average out in the end. :)

At 12:41 Blogger Jane said...

I can't remember, either...so I'm with you, if I don't' fall over it's all good :-)

At 13:29 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

I love that line from Amanda! Woot!

I really need to get fit. I just ate a handful of jelly beans while I read this. :-( I must stop eating sugary things and get my butt to the gym. I must make this happen.

:-) GLBR is awesome! I was soooooo happy to help, but really all I did was gather some amazing poetry dedicated to lovely little furry creatures. I really was touched by how many people offered their poems to the cause. Go Bengals!!

At 13:30 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

Also, the Night Garden Project is lovely! If you haven't been there, you should go now. Immediately!

At 13:37 Blogger Phiala said...

For Jess: more ass.

And now, back to work.

At 13:42 Blogger Jess said...

Nearly enough to make me start writing ass tanka again! But not quite.

I hate the balance poses. I'm very wobbly. Tend to skip them when I practice at home, because they annoy me.

At 13:43 Blogger Phiala said...

If you are interested in men and Jon Bon Jovi's ass won't inspire tanka, you are a tough cookie indeed.

The problem with skipping the balancy poses is that doing them is what makes you strong and balancy. Frustrating, that.

At 13:50 Blogger Cecily said...

How does one manage to get the hands to touch doing that darn eagle pose?!

At 13:52 Blogger Phiala said...

Several months of practice.

At 14:30 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I think I'm going to print this post out and use it as inspiration.


At least until someone makes the AFP magnet.

At 15:43 Blogger Jess said...

Don't worry if you can't get your hands to touch at first. They will eventually. Just means your shoulders are tight. Only do as much as you can, and DO NOT try to force it. Otherwise you will end up with pulled muscles or worse.

At 15:44 Blogger Hellie said...

You are an inspiration. That blog gave me a proper good kick up the ass, thank you. I always used to think that being brave meant not feeling scared, so I always thought I wasn't as good as the confident people around me. I'm quite a scaredy-cat, but the feeling after doing something terrifying can't be beaten. Sometimes I might even thinking, oh that wasn't so bad..it was actually fun!

I found a skipping rope when I was clearing out the cupboard in my childhood bedroom last weekend. I bought it home. I suspect I haven't skipped since I was about 11. The neighbours are probably wondering why the crazy grown woman is skipping around the garden with a rainbow coloured rope.. I don't care, it's so much fun!

At 15:47 Blogger Jane said...

Yoga is not about forcing anything, do what you can, maybe push slightly beyond your comfort zone, but it's not about pain, either.

Jess, the very poses I hate are the ones I should do :-)

At 16:06 Blogger Cecily said...

Oh I wouldn't force anything, I just find it freakin' impossible!

I love and hate what yoga I have done. It can be very centering, which is great, but if I am hormonal, then it is very emotionally hard for me. I used to dance. Like I was going to go to college for dance and then go to NYC and dance on Broadway dance. So I was REALLY flexible. So when I am hormonal, I get really down on myself when it's hard to reach my toes. I mean I used to be able to do a full straddle and stand on one foot with the other one above my head...just stand there perfectly balanced. Right now I can say, "I will get there again" next week, the idea will probably throw me into tears. *sigh*

At 16:12 Blogger Jess said...

Oh, I do plenty of poses I hate, Sharon. Just not stupid Crane and rubbish Tree and friggin' Full Eagle. Bah!! :D

At 16:12 Blogger Jane said...

Cecily - don't get down on yourself. What you were like is not what you are like today. And today is the important day. I once could put my foot behind my head, too (no standing up, though!)but today, no way and it's OK.

You could teach me to dance - I've never been good at that!

At 16:28 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Another cat from the fire I mentioned before has been rescued, and there is a better chance that rescue workers will be allowed access to the building:

http://citykitties.org/2011/02/another-survivor-annie/

At 16:46 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Ahhh, meeting fear face on and walking with it.
You really give me constant reminders that this is possible Quiche Medeadly. And all of the Fiends.

And now I'm off to look at Bon Jovi's ass...

At 16:52 Blogger Jane said...

Jess! LOL Just wait until my next class when I can refer to these asanas by their new names!

My bad names are reserved for backbendy poses.

At 16:53 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Just caught up with the tail end of comments from the last post.
Sharon - I hope they figure out what is causing your pain and fix it pronto.
Giving Sharon and Cecily soothing massages from afar.

At 17:02 OpenID alwayscoffee said...

You are very, very right. Being brave means doing something in spite of the fear you feel.

I think, a lot of times, it's important to do exactly what scares us.

Hooray for Bengal Merch -- and picture of Amanda Palmer is fantastic. ~Ali

At 20:21 Blogger Kitty Cat said...

me likes the totebag d' Bengals! great job to miss Bickman! i gonna go order one tonight.

you never seem very scared.
even when i know you are.
always an inspiration, Q.
thank you.
and AFP, what a great shot-- i missed this one until now.
xoxoxo love you almost birthday girly.

At 20:22 Blogger Jess said...

The only vaguely backbendy poses I do so far are cobra and fish. I like fish. I attempted camel once, and realised just in time that if I did it, I'd be stuck like that forever.

Not very backbendy, is the point.

At 20:47 Blogger Jane said...

Camel I can do. But I am a forward bendy girl all the way.

At 20:57 Blogger LihuaEmily said...

You rock virtually everything you touch, Lorraine!

At 22:09 Blogger DataGoddess said...

I've been fighting my social fear/anxiety all day. I'm supposed to go with my sweetie and his husband tomorrow to an event/party tomorrow, and I'm feeling very anxious about the whole thing.

I know it will be fine once I get there, and there will be other people I know, but there's going to be over 100 people total and it's an environment I've not been in before.

But I'll keep breathing...

At 03:15 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Oh dear, the spammers have found us.

*shoots death rays at spammers*

At 08:07 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Pretty brave this morning: Slept the heck IN! Lovely coffee from Joan of Dark, which I have most mornings but not made by her. Just waking and getting ready to nip to the gym.

Bout tonight.

All good!

At 09:30 Blogger Phiala said...

I habe a code.

Actually not that stuffed up, but sniffly, coughy, sore throat. Really, this is a good time to get it out of the way - two weeks ago or two weeks from now would be disastrous. So I will snuggle on the couch with the cat and read books. Maybe not The Stand, which is what I was reading in bed this morning...

But I didn't come to whine at you all, really. I'm looking over my calendar, and I'm thinking I should go to the Pittsburgh SF convention July 22-24. I know some of you are VERY close, and some of you are within reasonable travel range, so I thought I'd mention it early and see if we can get some folks together.

At 10:13 Blogger Jess said...

Saw that! Hmm. If Fiends turn up I shall do my level best to locate them for drinks.

But why the Doubletree by the airport? That's a good half hour to 45 minutes away from anything worth seeing. Why don't they do it downtown?

At 10:35 Blogger Phiala said...

At a guess, free airport shuttle and cheap convention rates.

At 10:38 Blogger Cecily said...

Good Morning Fiends!

At 10:48 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

Phiala, come to Boskone! :-)

At 10:55 Blogger Phiala said...

Erin, it sounds like fun (Charlie Stross!), but that's way too long a drive for February.

At 11:23 Blogger Jess said...

Erin should come to the Pittsburgh one!

Mind you, I'm not actually that interested in attending the convention. Just in seeing Fiends.

At 11:57 Blogger Pi R Squared said...

Somebody called?

Sorry. Not feeling too math-y today!

Been thinking hard about what Quiche has posted about fear and courage...and how once we do something even though we may be fearful we're gonna have to wake right up the next day and do it all over again. About how there will be a next thing and then another thing we need to face...and somehow this doesn't get me down (no rest for the wicked!) but makes me feel better knowing everyone has their own battles to fight and new fears to face everyday so that I (and you) are never alone in our battles.

I for one am gonna rock on purpose today (as I can't speak for tomorrow until I wake up and face that one.) But for now? For today? I'm gonna Rock!

At 16:47 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Rock on Purpose!!!!

On deck for tonight: DERBY!!!!!

At 17:25 Blogger Marjorie said...

Enjoy!

At 12:48 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Since we're talking about cons, is anyone going to DragonCon?

At 12:53 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I was wondering why my in-box had gone so quiet... A new post and I did not know it.

I only have one thing to say:
ROCK ON!

At 23:49 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Home from a weekend that was full of food, friends and this. It's the place in Big Sur where we got married. It's a place where you realize how full and rich life can be.

Ahhh.

Will catch up soon! (there's also no internet at the place!!)

At 23:50 Blogger Chantrelle said...

*tick*

At 12:08 Blogger Pi R Squared said...

Chantrelle...looks divine!

Mornin' Fiends!

At 15:06 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Its your birthday here in tomorrow-land Fearless Leader and to celebrate we are going to have a glorious sunny 30C day.

Happy Happy Firbday

At 18:31 Blogger Martha W. said...

Happy Birthday, and thanks for the Fearless post

At 23:40 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Happy firbday eve for 23 more minutes!

Also, TMKittyI update:

I did not have to take Kitty to the vet. By peeing along the wall, she seems to have been saying, "Mother, this is where I would like you to place my pee receptacle. Please do this with haste, or I will be forced to increase my peeing area. I will also be forced to pull everything you own into my pee spots in order to cover them up."

The window above where she was peeing has leaked in the past, and I think she could smell old water leak spots. But, problem solved. For now...

At 01:11 Blogger Marjorie said...

Happy Firbday, Fearless Leader!
Enjoy your day :-)

At 03:48 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Happy and fabulous birthday!

At 04:47 Blogger Erin Underwood said...

A birthday! Yay!!!!

Happy Birthday, Q. I hope it's a fabulous one.

:-)

At 07:36 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Yes, I am doing a B'day blog here, working on it now...Hang on!

At 10:42 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Sneaking in a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! before the new post is up ;-)

At 10:44 Blogger Cecily said...

New post is up. Fearless Leader distracted by Joan of Dark. ;-)

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