Saturday, June 5, 2010

More From Evelyn Evelyn....

Some AMAZING photos from Ben Zvan from the Minneapolis Evelyn Evelyn Show the other night! Did I mention I'd played in that? That I rocked? (so they say) Too true! I think I told you, must have.

Loving looking at the pictures. Haven't been to a concert that perfect and good in so long, and sitting in for the encore, was truly, the icing on that cake. Actually, the icing was already there. Let's call it the CANDLES on the cake.

Burning on...

Thank you Ben for sharing with us!

Love and Rock,


At 20:19 Blogger vampi said...

tose photos are amazing:)

much rock.

At 20:34 Blogger Dragonsally said...

They really are amazing photos...and I'd still like a poster. Because I'm nerdy like that.

At 21:11 Blogger Jess said...

Those are really terrific lookin' gig photos. He does fantastic work. Totally poster-worthy. Do the poster.

At 21:24 Blogger One Sock Short said...

I'm nerdy like that too. I'd totally indulge in a Fabulous Lorraine poster. Those are some great photos too.

I saw Neverwhere, the play, with Arwenn73 and SlightlyBent today. A truly wonderful adaptation of Boss's novel. I haven't yet seen the TV show it started life out as, but what's really amazing about this play is how well they portray the novel with such a small space and cast. All the actors really got into their roles and clearly enjoyed them.

Now life goes back to normal, after the most social week I've ever had. Hosting a house concert, attending two other live concerts, and going to a play. Even better, seeing several Fiends. What a whirlwind. But the rest of the month will be the usual, with the addition of a conference in D.C. But ALA conferences are pretty old hat for me now, so there's a same-old, same-old feeling to them too.

Hope all is well in the Fiendom.

At 22:01 Blogger AletaMay said...

Such great photos. Such a great night.

At 22:01 Blogger AletaMay said...

and tick

At 22:12 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Wonderful! Fabulous!

At 22:23 Blogger LihuaEmilyP said...

Dude. You look like you're having the time of your life. Awesomeness.

At 22:50 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I was having the time of my life...

At 22:57 Blogger Beez said...

What great pictures.

Much rock was had I see....I also see clear, raw JOY.

At 23:04 Blogger Cecily said...

OSS, when do you come to DC? I live right outside of it. :-)

At 23:06 Blogger Cecily said...

Oh and I love the pics. I'm ready for teleportation, so I can go to more events. :-) That or millions of dollars so I can just fly places on a whim.

At 23:09 Blogger spacedlaw said...

It shows!

At 23:30 Blogger Jane said...

I love it when life comes together like that! The thing is, I think it comes together for people who are willing to say YES and no worries about the fears or anything else but YES, I'll play, I'll join, I'll be a part of whatever is happening. Not everyone can do that and speaking as one who cannot (or does not) always say YES, I am amazed and in awe of you who do say YES.

Well, a fun evening with friends is over and since Steve (dear spouse) managed to slice off the top of his index finger on his left hand (and yes he is left-handed)during dinner prep, everything else fell to me the non cook. argh.

But dinner was mostly done when the slicing occurred and now guests are gone and he is in recliner with hand elevated (still bleeding) and I am cleaning up, I thought I would check in here and see what 's happening.

And say goodnight and run off to Twitter where I am @Qitou as some of you know.

At 23:37 Blogger DataGoddess said...

Looks like way too much fun!!!!

At 00:05 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

There was much joy.

One of the things I am working on is fear, and not being afraid. I'm not afraid to play for people, I am good at what I do, and people are going to like me, if they like that sort of thing, but things like riding.

I'm really shy too, and am working on that one as well.

I'm afraid to get close to people too. Very risky, being with someone, would like a NON-imaginary partner at some point, lol.

I'm afraid of bees.

I'm afraid of making mistakes. Of things not being perfect.

All things to work on. Have to get THRU fear and not let it hold you back. Trust it will work out.

Where am I going with all this, Fods, I am tired, when I start waxing philosophy...Tell me to go to BED!!!!!!!

At 00:19 Blogger Jane said...

Go to bed!

Or not.

I do believe that fear runs my life in a lot of ways. Like you say, afraid of not being perfect, or for me, of not getting it right.

But the first step is realizing the fear and understanding that you have a choice to NOT let it run your life. And recognizing that is a step that a lot of people never take.

You can't change a pattern if you can't even see it...

At 00:21 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Sharon, is Steve okay? People tend to watch me carefully when I have sharp knives in my hand because cutting myself seems to be something I excel at.

Lorraine, go to bed. I do like your philosophy though.

At 00:30 Blogger Jane said...

Steve is fine I think. The error we made was in removing the blood-sodden bandage. In hindsight we should have left it on and layered over it. But removing it started the bleeding again. I believe the cut was shallow (kind of) but it covered a lot of finger. Many blood vessels.

Actually he is snoring in the recliner so I'm going to check on him.

At 01:34 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I am not asleep yet, what's wrong with this? I am working REALLY early tomorrow, and then riding. Maybe twice. Then back to work.

All these house guests you know. Not that I don't love them.

At 01:37 Blogger Jane said...

I'll say good night...

At 01:37 Blogger Dragonsally said...

You've had too much excitement in your life in the last few days Lorraine. Hope you fall asleep soon, or you'll be pulling a 24 hour-er.
sleeeeepy vibes

At 01:43 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I sort of feel this week like I am serially napping, not really sleeping.

Odd thing, I felt myself getting really irritated at Johnny for playing with Paul for me tonight, and at Paul for doing the gig without me, despite the fact that -I- was the one who covered the gig...Needing to be at work.

Not logical. But I hate giving up a show, and a stage.

At 03:06 Blogger Marjorie said...

Those are great photos, and I *really* relate to your comments about fear, and overcoming it. (and so glad I found the fiends, and a place and people where I can say what I'm really thinking) I was absolutly terrified about coming to MN last near - nearly turned tail at the airport, but I'm so glad I didn't!

At 03:17 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I never quite understood how I came to show up at Charlie's the first time around. Except for the feeling that if I did not do it, I would always regret it.

At 10:12 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Was pretty useless this morning. Slept thru the alarm apparently and was LATE, now back home and thinking I will go back to bed, really hoping I am not coming down with something..

Matching wits with Will Wheaton on 4 hours of sleep was not my best gig. Think I held my own tho, talking about my Roller Derby Team.

At 10:19 Blogger LihuaEmilyP said...

A person can always fight fear.

At 10:25 Blogger Jess said...

It's hard to match wits with a man to whom people send sweaters like this. I imagine that sort of thing keeps you on your toes.

You've had a busy week, rock star! Get some rest.

What's all this Twitterage about pancakes? I want pancakes. But there is no Bisquick in the house.

At 10:40 Blogger spacedlaw said...

I made blinis for lunch (we had just received some outstanding smoked salmon). Which are just pancakes without sugar, really.

At 11:15 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

It is funny that you guys are hanging out with a guy who I am writing crazy fanfic about.

I am also shy. And awkward. Right now I am channeling my hopes of a future with someone into writing. It's the perfect relationship! The heroine controls her boyfriend with super mind control powers an alien deity gave her so it could take over the world.

I am drinking coffee today.

At 11:33 Blogger Marjorie said...

What's bisquick?

If you have flour, milk & an egg you can have pancakes...

At 11:41 Blogger vampi said...

wendy, who are you writing fan fic about?
i'm having trouble keeping up with the fabulousness. this has been quite a week of wrangling rock stars, eh?

At 11:51 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

There's a fanfic contest where you write fanfic about Wil Wheaton riding a unicorn kitten pegasus while attacking orc John Scalzi with a spear.

At 12:24 Blogger dabbler said...

I've just been thinking about how scary it is that I am attending the HOTR event...Mostly, for me, it comes down to waking up worrying...about all the possible things that could go wrong.

Of course, FIRST I have to worry about DD going to Italy for two weeks in July, meeting up with a friend in Florence. She doesn't speak Italian, hasn't made hostel reservations yet, etc., etc. Is she worried? Nope.

Sigh. I teach people about reducing anxiety all the time. Here I am....

At 12:32 Blogger dabbler said...

And, great photos. Antics.

At 12:32 Blogger dabbler said...

Blast it. Really tick

At 12:42 Blogger Jane said...

I find the attending of the HOTR scary, for all those what can go wrong worries.

Sigh...if you come up with the solution, let me know.

I'm seriously looking forward to it while being anxious...

At 13:06 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Those pictures are amazing!

I don't have fears of going to things like HOTR or the Fiend gathering...i do have fears of stages and being put on the spot though.
I am a pretty good people person, I am not a performer. Not sure if I want to overcome that necessarily. I like one-on-one better than one-on-hundreds.

I hope you got some decent sleep Lorraine!

Hope Steve still has a finger. I lost a little chunk of my index finger a couple of weeks ago. There was some odd disconnect between my brain and my hand because I remember this split second of my brain saying "if you don't move your hand, you're going to cut it" but my hand didn't move and chop!. Not as bad as it could have been luckily. I keep my knives wicked sharp so they leave a nice clean, surgical cut ;-)

At 13:08 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Oh! Forgot to say Ticia came down last night and she, hubby and I went to see Henry Rollins speak. I love that man. It was a great show. I "cooked" dinner for us....I say "cooked" because it was so hot here that I made ahi tartare and white gazpacho so I wouldn't have to turn on the stove. It seemed to work :)

Yay for fiend gatherings!

At 13:14 Blogger Fluffy said...

"People tend to watch me carefully when I have sharp knives in my hand..." Oh, Sally! I read that part and thought, 'Uh-oh. Don't piss Mommy off.'

Fears, let's see: Fiends are not scary. We are fiendish but really very nice. HOTR is not scary. We will be there. As Craig Ferguson would say, "What could possibly go wrong??" Food poisoning, maybe. Okay, that would be unpleasant. Snowed in? Pffft. Gharstley creatures from another dimension breaking through and being all gharstley? Ha. I laugh at them. Will Wheaton wearing THAT SWEATER? Okay, THAT would be scary. We will just have to be vigilant re: the clown-sweater-thing.

It's hot here. On the plus side, last night's wedding was the shortest I have ever attended, FTW. On the minus side, since it was featuring WASP-y type peeps there was very little food. I keep forgetting about that. So we hit a Chinese place on the way home and ate Orange Chicken while watching Big Bang Theory.

At 13:46 Blogger Jane said...

I'm not scared of fiends - just the unknown. But it doesn't usually stop me, I just get anxious and go anyway.

Steve's finger is still on, finally stopped bleeding and not going to take the current bandage off for a while.

One on hundreds doesn't work for me, either :-)

At 14:35 Blogger LihuaEmilyP said...

Unfortunately I cannot get over this stupid fear of spiders. I might possibly lose my dignity if I am around spiders. I was at the lab the other day measuring saline samples and examining copepods when I found a dead spider on one of the jars. "EE-HEE-HEEEEW, a spider."

I don't read much Real Person Fiction. I have a friend who is crazy for it, reads lots of Patti LuPone fic. But I recently looked up some RPF and was a little bit unsettled. Shatnoy ... shiver.

At 15:04 Blogger Marjorie said...

No, Fiends aren't scary (except maybe to snoots or bullies)but I was scared about going to a foreign country to meet lots of unknown people, and I was scared that you a;; might not like me :-)

Emily Li Hua - I get the spider thing. I don't much like them, although I'm not scared of them, but on the other hand I have a deep (if irrational) fear of ants. Knowing it isn't rational oesn't actually make them any less scary, although I have trained myself to tolerate them as long as they remain outside the house.

At 15:11 Blogger Chantrelle said...

I have a deep-seated, extreme fear of clowns. Don't know why. TOTALLY, irrationally, freak out. And snakes although I handled the rattlesnake presence in our campsite quite well.

At 15:28 Blogger LihuaEmilyP said...

I can see ants being massively creepy, really I can!

At 15:29 Blogger LihuaEmilyP said...

The thing is, I LIKE spiders, from a scientifc standpoint. In all honesty, spiders are awesome! And yet ...

At 15:57 Blogger Marjorie said...

The ant thing wasn't helped by the incident when I had to sleep downstairs after breaking my leg (age 11) & woke one morning to find ants swarming up the end of the bed. As my crutches were propped up on the bed frame they too were covered in ants & I couldn't get away. I didn't like them before that, but afterwards I knew they really *are* out to get me...!

I like snakes, find them fascinating, although the fact we don't have many, and only one species which is poisonous, probably helps. I like frogs and toads, too.

At 16:43 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Spiders fascinate me, but I'm usually petrified of them, except on occasion I've had 'pet' spiders that I've allowed to live inside so long as they don't stray from a clearly defined area. Up until I was in my mid thirties I couldn't go into a room if there was a spider there!
Marjorie - after an experience like that, no surprise you have an issue with ants.

Oh, how I wish I could come to a fiend meet up. *sigh*

At 16:49 Blogger LihuaEmilyP said...

In my opinion, snakes are AWESOME. I always thought they were cool, and I had never had much experience with or exposure to them, and thus was quite unaffected by any apprehension.

At 17:29 Blogger Ticia said...


I am afraid of everything (as I told a friend recently). I don't like it, but I pay attention to it and move through it as best I can. I try not to let it debilitate me.

Most of it is just old family tapes playing on their endless loop and other people's insecurities playing on my sympathies.

And when I'm brave, and do the things I fear to dream, I feel such a rush of accomplishment, it takes my breath away.

This makes it easier to be open to scary things.

But I will always fear.

At 17:39 Blogger Phiala said...

Y'all are awesome. All of you. Really.

At 17:48 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

I may have a lot more to say on feaR, AND I AM LOVING READING THESE (OOPS CAPS LOCK) but mostly now I am tired

Next round of house guests have been welcomed, work is done and I am going to be a vegetable for the rest of the night, I think.

me and my Bengals, tho they seem FAR more full of energy than I...

At 18:37 Blogger Cecily said...

I have come to be afraid of spiders. They have been biting me in my sleep, and more times than I like to think about, I have gone to wipe a tickle of my arm/chest/leg and smooshed a spider. The bites swell, itch, and hurt for MONTHS. I am very ready for it to stop now, because it might turn into a phobia if it doesn't. The ironic thing about it, David, laying right next to me, not a one.

Chantrelle, I became afraid of clowns in 1990 when I saw It at way too young of an age. I didn't sleep a full nights sleep until 1991 after I saw it. It was then compounded by going to a local haunted maze and one of the rooms they locked you in had nothing but a Pennywise. He very quickly realized I was his prime target and hounded me until i broke into tears.

As for snakes, I LOVE them, and have become irrationally afraid of them from this recurring nightmare I have.

Also, still not getting emails...none in my junk box...don't know what to do...

At 18:59 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Oy. One of my big fears came true today, and I didn't even know it. Kitty got out and got trapped in the stairwell at some point. Fortunately, one of my neighbors found her, reported her, and kept her in his apartment. He and his partner bought her food and litter. They actually only live three doors down from me, so I told him if they needed anything they should let me know.

I thought she was laying low because there's been thunder and lightning outside.

At 20:04 Blogger Cecily said...

Oh noes Wendy! Thank goodness for kind neighbors!

At 20:47 Blogger Jess said...

I have been out with the in-laws (as they go back tomorrow) for too much dinner. Mr. Jess and I split the Cake of Regret, and now I fear I may be sick.

Well, not fear so much as anticipate. Blegh. :P

I'm afraid of everything falling apart. I'm always wondering when my life decisions will come back to haunt me, and worry about the trap door going out from under me, so to speak. There's a line in A Charlie Brown Christmas which sort of applies: that moment when Charlie Brown hangs the bauble on the lousy little tree, and it falls over. Everything I touch gets ruined, he goes. I don't exactly feel like that, but I anticipate failure, awkwardness, being disliked, being turned away from. That sort of thing. And often I'll avoid good risks in order to avoid, in turn, the unlikely outcomes I'm bracing myself for.

There's much to be said for understanding the nature of your fear. And like Ticia says, there are certain kinds of fear you can't necessarily fight: they become part of your mental and emotional wiring. I've always been this way. Many years ago I was diagnosed with a minor anxiety disorder (and folks, don't say aww poor you or hugs or (((Jess))) please, that's not the point), which explained a lot. But apart from a brief and unsuccessful period on mild antidepressants, I haven't done much about it. It's just one of those things, and not something I try to fight or correct. I live with it. I walk through it. (And sometimes I do weird shit like refusing to drive the car for a year, or being a bit mute in public, or going around the house before bed to check that nothing's exploded when I know for a fact nothing has done.) I just accept it's there, and figure out how to do what I need to do given that is there.

In my experience, fear is not something that's curable. Manageable, but not curable. I don't necessarily want it cured. It's part of what makes me me: it's the source of stories I write; it allows me, bizarrely, to understand and have empathy for other people, and to think situations through at a level of complexity that most people wouldn't. It helps me see patterns, understand consequences, imagine what might come.

And yeah, it can and does hold me back, if I let it (and I frequently do). But-- and I think it's an important distinction-- I don't believe that giving in to fear is equivalent to failure. If I look at my fear as something I have to conquer, and consider it a failure not to do so-- or, worse, find myself unable to do so-- well, then I'm Charlie Brown, aren't I? Everything I touch gets ruined! And I'm right back where I started-- a far worse place than simply feeling afraid.

Fear is not a mountain. It's a little monkey on my shoulder who doesn't want to be alone. So we walk together, and sometimes I heed its screeching and chittering, and sometimes I tell it to shut up. But I wouldn't throw it off my shoulder and stomp it to death. It's just a poor little monkey, and sometimes it can be smart.

Phew! That was too long. I anticipate you'll all be bored, and probably rolling your eyes waaay back into your heads till yhou all get migraines. And it'll be my fault! Aaagh! \o/

At 20:59 Blogger Cecily said...

Jess, I have to disagree with fear is not curable. I stayed with my first husband for 6 years too many because I was so afraid of everything he drilled into. "You can't live without me" "You'll fail alone" "No one likes you, they only like me" (Yes he was a gem!) And I was so afraid, which is exactly where he wanted me, but I did beat. And I left and while I am very happily remarried, I do not believe I *have* to be. Most of the fears he ingrained in me I *know* they aren't true, and at one point they were a driving fear for me. I still have anxiety issues about interacting with people. After we would leave somewhere he would tell me all the wrong things I said and how I made people feel uncomfortable, so I am constantly afraid of that. Even now,I am debating about sharing this, because of it being *wrong*.

Which brings me to you anxiety stuff. First let me say, I have a squishy hippie center that believes in holistic methods of treatment and truly believes in herbal remedies. I use zanax for those times that you describe. I find it is very effective as an "as needed" medicine. I would not want to live on it, but using it when I will be around lots of people (friends or strangers), flying, etc. has been a life changer for me. I know it's not for everyone, but I do recommend talking to a doctor and seeing if it might be right for you too.

At 21:07 Blogger dabbler said...

Not a bit scared of fiends, though I worry about living up to the general level of brilliance (this is only partly are all brilliant, but I am not worried that you'll dislike me if I'm not...just that I'll be disappointed in myself.)

And, Jess, I love your monkey on the shoulder image. Yup, it's a lot like that. Sometimes I have to make my monkey go off and play with some other monkey so I can get through whatever it is.

HOTR fears...too many people at once; I'll look weird in my (as yet undesigned) costume; I'll get claustrophobic...etc., etc. Despite which, I am totally psyched to be going.

Spiders, ants, snakes are all okay with me, though I don't care to sleep with them. Centipedes are the ones that make me shriek. And don't pick me up and swing me in circles. Instant terror...and nausea. I will admire the Carousel from a distance, I think.

At 21:36 Blogger Fluffy said...

Bridges and other high things. Arrrgh.

Jess is one of the wittiest people I've ever met, by the way.

At 22:05 Blogger Jess said...

It's the monkey. The monkey is hilarious.

(You're good to say so, Fluff. Shucks. :) )

At 22:13 Blogger Fluffy said...

I'm sorry, Jess, that doesn't wash. Monkeys try too hard. They are not that funny.

At 22:17 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...


I'm not rolling my eyes at your long post. I think it's good that the issues you deal with make you empathize with other people more. I wish more people would do that. Instead, they put up walls between them and other people and it makes them view others suspiciously. People don't want to help other people. Or, if they do, they only want to help the people that look and think just like them. It makes me sad.


I'll have to keep the zanax thing in mind. Just today I went to a volunteer event where we made survival kits for the NOLA homeless population. Afterwards, there was a party, and I left after about 10 minutes of party because I'm shy and don't go up to people and introduce myself. I hang around awkwardly and feel like I'm creepy. I assumed that those types of drugs took time to build up and work (I was on antidepressants for a few months and had to have blood tests all the time to see what my dosage should be) but if that zanax works on a situation-by-situation basis, I might think of starting on it. Especially now that I'm going on job interviews.

At 22:21 Blogger Jane said...

Thanks for all the interesting and insightful comments about fear. We all have our own way of dealing with it.

Right now I'm having eye panic attacks, that the retina will tear again and that it won't be caught in time. Not entirely an irrational fear, but there is no need to have such an instant panic attack every time there is the slightest change in the eyeball.

So the monkey image might come in quite handy, thanks.

I have anxiety about people - on my way to a party I'll feel total anxiety, no matter what kind of gathering or who will be there. Some years ago I realized, Oh yeah, I ALWAYS have this and it ALWAYS goes away as soon as I step into the door. Geez.. So now I notice it, oh right, here we are again, whatever!!! And just move on. Not quite like an old friend, but quite like a familiar part of myself.

And I had one of those husbands, too, for 2 years. He spent the first hour after every gathering telling me all the wrong things I said and did. ARGH! Maybe that is where my anxiety came from! Just noticed that. That was 30 yrs ago. Hmmm. Food for thought.

Good night all.

At 22:25 Blogger Jess said...

You haven't met my monkey.

At 22:25 Blogger Laura B said...

Wonderful pictures!

Jess, a lot of what you described sounds like me, too. I don't really feel like I'm afraid of anything, I just expect to be the reject, the one no one wants to be around. And I have a panic disorder now, too.

On a happier note, I had an awesome time at Hypericon in Nashville this weekend! Met some really cool authors that were super nice and helpful with writing advice.:)

At 22:27 Blogger Jess said...

...which was meant to be a reply to Fluffy's comment about monkeys not washing. Not just a random observation. Sorry.

Now I fear you'll think I'm obsessed with monkeys. It wouldn't be the first time something like that had happened.

At 22:44 Blogger vampi said...

does anyone know if there is a wait list for the hotr resort? i know it "sold" out, but i suspect at some point some people will cancel.
i've decided i am definitely going now. i need a bright spot in the future to focus on because changes at work are scary and annoying.

my fear right now is that i won't be able to keep my mouth shut and will mouth off to my new boss whom i dislike as a human.

also anyone staying few extra days? i was thinking maybe we could plan a fiend specific shingdig

At 06:27 Blogger LihuaEmilyP said...

Jess, FYI, you are awesome. Truly.

I am afraid of some very powerful ideas but even here, I do not want to admit them. This is partly because anyone on the Internet could see.

Sometimes fear is curable. You might be afraid of something, undergo a new experience involving the fear, and come out refreshed, exhilerated, having discovered there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place; possibly even having learned that the fear was indeed something to be enjoyed.

At 10:43 Blogger Jane said...

Vampi - hope you get to HOTR! I would love to meet you! They have a FB page which may alert you to cancellations and they have a cancellation date of Aug 30, so I'll bet right around that date a lot of rooms will free up.

We're booked at the resort - I think there are 2 places to stay. We're only staying for the weekend, though.

I have the DVD, Sliding Doors. Small decisions (well, seemingly small) must loom large if it appears that they have the power to change a life like that. I tend to think that the universe is kind of self correcting and maybe we are at any given time where we're meant to be, so if a small decision gets you off-track, the next decision brings you back. Reading too much scifi and urban fantasy, maybe :-)

At 11:10 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Vampi - I've got a room booked at the resort for the whole family but if ralph and ben decide not to go, there's 2 openings and we can bunk ;-) I'm not sure if this will be a family adventure or a personal journey.

At 12:16 Blogger Marjorie said...

I find this discussion about fears really interesting - especially in the "Oh my, it's not just me!" sense.

And I am learning (slowly, but I'm learning) that you can take risks, and lots of times the worst *doesn't* happen, I don't make a massive fool of myself, and things turn out well. But the little voice telling me I shouldn't risk it, that those interesting people don't really want me hanging out with them, that some day people will notice that I'm only pretending to be confident and professional and grown up, are still there, and always seem so convincing.

And one of the thongs that I love about this place, and all the fiends, is that I feel I *can* say all this 'out loud'.

At 13:41 Blogger Precision Grace said...

So much has happened while I've been away getting (what I thought was) my dream job and losing it.

Wish I could go to the HOTR thing. Someone will have to do some serious photo blogging or I'll cry, I swear I will!

At 13:52 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...


After I find out whether I got in or not, I will post it to my blog. And, it's because that's what all of his D&D characters wear (according to my fanfic).

At 21:09 Blogger Ms T said...

Ah fear. And shyness. Yep, know them well. Some of it is down to dodgy brain chemistry (thank fods for medication), and some of it is down to conditioning. Luckily during the last bad bout of depression I had I did some work on how to define myself outside of the fear. Apparently I'm all about graphic novels and crafting and an ever so slightly bent sense of humour. :)

Then again I sometimes surprise myself by taking a leap. Like I'm planning on going to Craft Up tonight. I figure the worst that will happen is that I'll be sat in the corner with a cup of coffee, sewing up my leaves and flowers for the tree project - and that's not so bad. Normally the idea of hanging out with a bunch of strangers would have me hiding under the duvet!

P.S. Love, love, love the photos!

At 21:29 Blogger Ms T said...

And music! Can't believe I forgot that. I'm all about music and graphic novels and crafting* and a bent sense of humour. :)

*I'm not the best knitter/sewer/needleworker out there but I like to give things a go, and I figure I won't learn if I'm too scared to make mistakes.

At 23:00 Blogger Na said...

test tick

At 23:02 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Had to share a picture of Ben in his Bat costume for his school's Ramayana play :)
They had a costumed run-through on saturday. Pretty amazing stuff.

At 23:05 Blogger Na said...

oh yay! i couldn't post a comment all day. Blogger was comment-blocking me. :( Here's what I was thinking earlier:

I have to echo Phiala: all y’all are just awesome!

It seems to me that there is Fear and then there are fears;
that of Fear is instinctual and an essential aspect of being a living being, and manifests as our particular, identifiable fears;
that our particular fears are things we can move through or “conquer,” but that Fear is not something to be vanquished, because it is simply there,
a fact of our existence and one of several things that keep us moving.

And motion is life.

This also got me thinking back to the meet-up last June. Several of us have commented on the fears around travelling to a place and meeting new people; although I didn’t realize that in others last June, I did feel it -- about halfway through the weekend, I was suddenly completely overwhelmed by shyness, and, I guess, fear. I had looked so forward to the gathering, and did not expect that. Silly. But I feel I did not rise to this personal challenge well at all, when clearly others did, and feel I missed some outstanding opportunities for excellent conversations and connections. With any luck, I did not offend anyone by seeming stand-offish.

On the up side, staying in motion provides many, many opportunities to face Jess’s Shoulder Monkey, and there’s always more opportunities to win that staring contest, and a next time for most things, especially if we seek them out.

Lots of shiny thoughts. Slainte, all!

At 00:19 Blogger Na said...

Cute bat! :)

Jane, I like the self-correcting path concept.

Kudos to you, Ms. T, and Lorraine, and Sock, and everyone wandering out into the world and giving all those fears what-for.

Coincidentally I learned today of a Newcomer's Club here in this city. Like, go out and intentionally meet new people... what an idea! Also got a newsletter from a local yarn shop. Thinking of taking a workshop. Maybe a language class. eeeek. All y'all are inspiring.

At 02:07 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Please send some healing thoughts to my Dad Fiends...he tripped and cracked 3 ribs today, just in time for his 80th birthday on Thursday, the poor thing.

At 02:24 Blogger spacedlaw said...

Ouch. That's a real problem at that age; we mend not so well with age.
Healing thoughts.
(and to all the fiends who need them)

At 06:47 Blogger dabbler said...

Gentle healing thoughts to your Dad. My fa-in-law did that in January, and healed up fine...albeit slowly! We all watched him go down, and none of us were close enough to catch him. Terrifying! Like watching a car crash is slow motion.

At 09:09 Blogger Jane said...

Sally! Sorry about your dad :-( Hope he can still have a nice birthday.

At 09:14 Blogger DataGoddess said...

Oh, Sally, I hope your dad recovers swiftly!

Speaking of social fears, I managed to get in my little car, drive 70 or so miles, and attend a presentation a friend was giving for an organization I recently joined, and knew only a few people in the small group.

I wasn't afraid. Other than in passing, I didn't consider bailing out. This is *huge* for me, Fiends. I'm still a bit boggled at myself.

I'm also processing being told I'm "intimidating". It's not a word I've ever applied to myself. I know I've appeared stuck-up to some people in the past because I have a hard time approaching people, but *intimidating* is breaking my brain a bit...

At 09:19 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Healing thoughts for your dad, DS.

Hmmm, I thought Blogger ate my comment, but since a couple Fiends have commented on it, I guess not. Gulp. I was kind of glad when I thought Blogger didn't post it. Ah well.

At 09:29 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Morning all! Feeling better today, not sure what was going on, might have been food, might have been sheer exhaustion after the last 10 days.

WEIRD dreams tho. Naked gay guys everywhere. They felt they no longer needed to wear clothes. Their rights were being compromised.

At 09:56 Blogger Chantrelle said...

Ah, the naked gay guy dream. ;-)

I had a dream, something about staying in a hotel w/ family and not having all my stuff to get dressed. It was a naked themed night.

At 10:21 Blogger Jess said...

And Spider Man feet! :D Ben looks great.

I haven't dreamt any nakedness recently, and that's surely my loss. Did have one about being on a plane cruising gently at about four feet above the pavement, then shooting straight up to 30,000 feet, vertically, like a rocket. Aieeee, everyone went. This was after we got back from our trip, and there was no more flying to do. Talk about your delayed reactions.

Hear, hear, Na! You said very well what I attempted to say very clumsily. The monkey is. (Good tee shirt slogan.)

DG, I get that occasionally-- and I also found it baffling, given I'm very short. Some weird combination of not saying much with the threat that I might come out all daggers and flamethrowers? I dunno. :/

At 10:28 Blogger vampi said...

i <3 cabal week. what a fab idea danguy:)

it just makes my heart happy to read about cabal, and magic, and the royals, and the myriad of other animals who have benefited from the love.

*twirls* love ben bat, so cute

and healing thoughts for sally's dad

dreams about naked guys? hmmm. maybe the whirlwind rockstar week has reversed the typical "you are naked in your dream" dream?

how can it be only tuesday? how? i'm so not going to make it.

At 11:03 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I hope all of the fiends that need healing are healed (and their families) and all the fiends who need courage find their inner bad-@$$.

New Orleans has a Jewish Newcomers program, but I have not made any new friends because of it. Although, I have made most of my friends here because I'm into gaming and am a member of a national gaming group (One World by Night).

Also, I unfortunately had no naked people in my dreams. But, in December I will be surrounded by clothed gay guys when two of my best friends from Tampa move in with me! One of them already put in his transfer where he works in Tampa!

At 14:10 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Did a Fiend mention being in the D.C. area, or did I dream it (sans naked people)? I'll be there from June 23-29. My conference schedule is pretty jam-packed, but I might be able to squeeze a mini-Fiend-meet in.

At 14:10 Blogger Beez said...

Sally, *hugs* and healing for your Dad. It's so hard to not be able to fix things for them.

Bat-Ben is the cutest thing ever ever.

Fear. Like Jess I am afraid of it all falling apart, that no matter how hard I work, how close of attention I pay, how fast I try to keep those spinning plates all in the air...that I will fail. And that my dear ones will suffer for it.

Physical fear, I don't have much I guess. This is probably not especially wise as I get older but the RAWWWRRR!! Tomboy that I always was is still running the show that way. I revel in seeing how hard I can push myself, climb that tree, scale that bluff, run that river in a canoe.
May that Tomboy never grow up. Amen.

Urban street-stuff fears. I flip from fear to RAGE so fast that...I should prolly let the monkey put a choke-chain on me for times like that.
-I- see me as a short, chubby, middle-aged person. I don't see the scary person some say I am.

At 14:30 Blogger Cecily said...

Sally, *thoughts for your dad* And how is your face doing love?

BatBen is adorable.

OSS that was me. Are we friends on Facebook? (My mind is really not with me today) If so, send me a message there and we can see if we can work out a meet up. :-)

At 14:34 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Cecily, I'm not on Facebook. Are you on Twitter?

At 15:24 Blogger Cecily said...

Yes! And you found me! (Sorry, drowning in work today)

At 16:27 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Face is healing nicely thanks Cecily - I guess I should have said here for Fiends not on twitter or was a (gets paper to check spelling) eccrine cyst/benign tumour of the sweat gland/s. Rare-ish apparently. Go me!

Robyn - did I say how adorable Ben looks?

Peoples perceptions are funny aren't they - way back at a new school campus someone said I was conceited...I fell of my chair, the reality was I was shit scared. I've never forgotten that!

Wish I'd had some naked people dreams last night.

At 18:13 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Argh. Kitty is favoring her paw now, when she sits down and when she lies down. It looks like it might be swollen. I called the local vet, and the lady on the phone said I should bring her in if she looks like she's in pain or she's dragging her leg, etc. etc. etc. She's running and jumping okay, and the only time she favors it is when she's sitting or lying down; she adjusts it like she's trying to get comfortable. I think she might have sprained it when her rescuers found her in the stairwell. But, now I'm worried. :(

Oh, but I have another job interview next week! I'll need a job if Kitty's hurt!

At 18:17 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Okay, with the way she just jumped up and ran across the room to get to her food, she's definitely not limping, and it does hurt her to put pressure on it. So maybe I shouldn't be worried. But, she's the love of my life!

At 18:18 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

It does not hurt her to put pressure on it***

At 18:22 Blogger Dragonsally said...

I'd still be taking her to the vet as soon as you can Wendy, just in case.

At 19:08 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Home! And my house is nearly in order again. More or less.

Long day, and the office is NOT yet caught up and in order, but it is much CLOSER than it was this morning.

I dropped a thing of tuna salad in the kitchen, and then a bag of rice broke, and then I boiled 3 chickens for the dogs and uh, stripped them, then Lola tore up an entire newspaper. Housekeeper is going to wonder WHAT the heck happened in there tomorrow.

I don't fear physical things, kind of like overcoming them. All my fear is in my darn HEAD. Much harder.

At 19:11 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Have just had a rather unpleasant couple of hours. Long story short - Mom let a stranger claiming to be from the water company into her apartment. When he left she noticed her wallet had been messed with. Thank God that's all that happened. We've made all the necessary calls to police, bank, and credit report agencies. Now I'm trying to suppress the "What were you thinking!!!" reaction, as that won't help. Must be a shoulder to lean on for now.

At 19:15 Blogger Jane said...

Linda - glad your mom is OK! And yes, "What WERE you thinking" never seems to help. Maybe when this has all blown over there can be a gentle reminder not to let people in.

In the meantime, sending you patience and fortitude and btw thanks for the knitting info :-)

At 19:36 Blogger Dragonsally said...

Oh Fods OSS. Your mom won't do that again I'm betting. Thank goodness she is okay.

At 21:33 Blogger dabbler said...

Wendy, is there any chance that Kitty stepped on a bee. or batted one and got stung? I've had cats with very similar sounding symptoms. My advice would be wait a day and see if it 1) gets better or 2)gets worse. Apply vet is 2.

OSS, say "what on earth were you thinking?" to us...." and we can say..."I was hoping it was that fellow with the multi-million dollar sweepstakes prize, of course!"

G'night all! Sleep well, and dream nakedly.

At 21:38 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Working with my new notebook computer. WIndows. Yes, a PC.

I may not survive this. SO far it's been pretty freaky at me.

It IS cute tho, and purple.

At 21:43 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...


There is not much of a chance that she stepped on a bee, although, there is a chance that she went after a wasp, because sometimes wasps get into my apartment. I was thinking that she probably sprained her foot when my neighbors got her out from behind the pipe she was hiding behind when she got out the other day. She doesn't seem to be in any pain, and I didn't notice it before now because when she walks and runs and jumps she doesn't favor her little paw at all. She just arranges it weird when she's sleeping and sitting down. It doesn't look as swollen now, so I guess there is a chance she swatted something bad and it got her. The underside of her paw was pretty swollen earlier, and now it's not swollen at all. I'm going to see how she looks tomorrow when I wake up. She's been sleeping all day, but she's almost 10 and spends a lot of time sleeping now. She's also been eating, and jumped/ran to her food dish when I fed her and SB earlier. And, she purrs up a storm when I pet her.

At 21:45 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

I wish Mac would make a tiny, cheap travel netbook that wasn't an iPad.

At 22:03 Blogger vampi said...

oh wendy me too, the ipad is a bit to tpy for me. i'm holding out for the new iphone or the new touch when it comes out later this year probably.

glad kitty seems to be ok.

i'm not sure dream naked is such a good suggestion, some times i would rather not know how some people look naked.

At 22:07 Blogger Cecily said...

OSS, yes, thank the Fods it was nothing worse. And a gentle reminder that all people at your door should show you some official identification. And it is ALWAYS ok to say, "No you can't come in right now". And if they try to pressure you, "but it has to be now or you'll be fined" Then they are full of shit and you politely close and lock the door without panicking.

At 22:08 Blogger Jane said...

Wendy, my cat (a years ago cat) had the same symptoms when he was stung on the foot. HUGE swollen foot which he had to rearrange to sit but otherwise no sign that there was anything wrong. And he was fine with no vet trip.

There was no trouble breathing, I guess? That would be the thing that would get me to the emergency vet.

At 22:17 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...


She hasn't had any trouble breathing. She's just cranky. And, now that I'm worried and have been fiddling with her paw every time I get a chance, she's extra cranky every time she thinks I'm going for her paw. I'm glad that it looks like the swelling has gone down. But, I'm definitely still going to see how things are going tomorrow morning. She's probably going to be quite relieved when I go to sleep.

At 23:32 Blogger Beez said...

OSS, glad that noting worse came of it.

I suspect your mom is kicking herself quite enough for both of you.

Wendy, isn't it funny how cranky the pets get when we fuss? Not NOW mom, geez. Can't you leave me alone?

Somewhat like teenagers that way.

And speaking of teenagers, Son+Heir did the cap and gown "I graduated" ceremony Sunday night.

At 00:16 Blogger Dragonsally said...

did you gnome this?

At 01:07 Blogger Marjorie said...

Sally, just saw about your dad. Hope he is OK and feels better soon.

OSS - worrying. Glad she is OK, but very stressful & alarming.

And Wendy - hope kitty improves- it does sound as thobits probably minor, if her paw is already less swollen and she's not in pain.

At 06:54 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Kitty Update:

I woke up to the sound of Kitty covering up pee she left for me on the floor. Well, really it was on a blanket, which was a little more acceptable, because I whisked it over to the sink and started soaking it.

She was not happy that I caught her and hid under the chair. I coaxed her out, and now she is sitting with both front feet planted on the ground. She is also eating like that. Last night she was sitting and eating with either one leg up or trying to constantly adjust it.

At 07:02 Anonymous Wendy Withers said...

Also, it looks like the swelling has changed from her whole foot to one of her toes, which if she was stung would make sense. Her general attitude has changed from "Mommy, I don't feel good," to "I'm angry. And, I blame you." And, the latter is one of her natural moods.

At 07:29 Blogger One Sock Short said...

Wendy - Well, kitty blaming you aside, that sounds like good news. They do hate to be fussed over. Except when they want to be.

Mom spent the night with me last night. She seems less rattled this morning. Kicking herself, but at least nothing worse happened, and we've tied up all possible financial ends we can think of.

On with the day, which will be spent at a local conference. I hope they give us coffee.

At 08:39 Blogger Arwenn said...

OSS - Sorry that happened, what a mess! It might not be a bad idea to notify the water company and/or the police that this sort of thing is going on. Hope the conference not only has coffee, but has GOOD coffee!

At 09:24 Blogger FabulousLorraine said...

Good morning all! New Good Morning Blog post is up NOW!

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